Caught By a Butterfly
by Heiri-XQR
Summary: From the first time they met in 215 until the very end... Sima Yi grew to love Zhang He. This is their story. (I suck at summaries) This is like rewriting history for my OTP...and trying to be somewhat historically accurate...while inserting a fictional love affair. ZHSY. Yaoi.
1. The Beginning

A/N: Spoiler alert (for some): tried to be historically accurate. Failed a little, because I had to make things _happen._ In case you didn't read the summary: this is a story about Zhang He and Sima Yi falling in love. _Things _will happen (it's like a spoiler, but the M rating already told you that, right?)

Also, I'm sorry if the He/he thing gets confusing. That's the trouble with Zhang He's romanised name. ¬_¬ I've also left some dates floating around to help you (and me) keep track.

**1. Caught By a Butterfly: The Beginning**

**Xuchang, Summer 215**

"Zhang He!" Xiahou Yuan stood at the front gate of Xuchang's south wall, waving to the general.

Zhang He waved back and as he got closer he called, "did you miss me, Miaocai?"

Yuan laughed. "Of course – it's not easy training troops on your own."

Zhang He began to dismount his horse, but Yuan motioned for him to stop. "Cao Cao wants you in the throne room immediately, so be ready to give the battle report."

"He's impatient today. Doesn't he want Liao present too?"

Xiahou Yuan shook his head. "Actually it's more to do with his son's new secretary who's interested in you. I'm just assuming that you'll also be expected to give the report while you're there; he's not much of a time waster."

"Well, I'll see you later then," Zhang He said when he noticed some of Cao Cao's attendants coming his way. "Oh, and if you could help Liao bring in the troops that would be wonderful."

**OoooO**

This was the second time that Sima Yi had been into the throne room on business, only this time he was alongside Cao Cao and not bowing at his feet. It had taken some years, but he'd finally been promoted from that petty desk job under one of the higher up politicians. Being secretary to Cao Cao's son would probably be more of the same, but this was about power. Yes, he was already in Cao Pi's good books, but he had to keep proving himself. His first test would be at Baxi – Cao Pi had told Yi to choose the battle's strategies and who would be the vanguard. Owing to his previous position he hadn't actually met many of Wei's top generals (clearly he was only going to go for the best), but he had heard stories over the years. And based on those he'd chosen one which Cao Pi said he was going to recommend himself.

"Lord Cao Cao, general Zhang He has arrived," the guard at the door announced. Cao Cao waved a hand and the guards opened the large doors. Zhang He strode in, face dirty and armour still bloody; Sima Yi felt as if he had made a good choice.

The general knelt on one knee, fist in hand. "My lord." He bowed his head. "Please excuse my foul appearance." Cao Cao waved it off and asked for a short report. "The small Wu army was no match for us," Zhang He said. "A rear attack by Zhang Liao finished them off quickly."

"You should give yourself some credit too," Cao Cao said. "I'd advise you to rest up well and train your best troops, as you're being sent to Baxi near Hanzhong in a month. Our sources tell us Shu plans to capture it and use it as a supply base."

"The army of ten thousand that have just returned should do, wouldn't you say?"

Sima Yi stepped forward. "No, double the size."

Zhang He did not recognise this new face. "We lost less than one hundred men in the battle just past. Is it necessary to take more men?"

"Yes," Sima Yi said. "My strategy uses men in groups of five thousand. Less than that will not do."

"_Your_ strategy?" Zhang He questioned. "Is Jia Xu not planning this battle?"

"Jia Xu is continuing to plan the offensive against Wu," Cao Cao said. "Zhang He, I'd like you to meet Sima Yi who'll be directing you during our Hanzhong campaign."

Zhang He inclined his head. "A pleasure to meet you, my lord."

"Likewise, general. It appears that you care somewhat about strategy; I appreciate that and look forward to speaking with you again."

_An interesting character,_ thought Zhang He. There was something different about Yi that struck He, but he could not figure out what it was.

**OoooO**

The rest of his time in Xuchang was spent training his troops with Xiahou Yuan to bring them up to scratch.

"Your admirer's back," Xiahou Yuan said.

They'd been training from dawn to noon everyday for a week and Sima Yi had appeared most days, watching from afar for no longer than an hour. But usually he appeared closer to noon; today he appeared under his usual tree while the sky was still tinged orange from sun rise. Even more surprising was the fact that he stayed until practise finished, long enough for Zhang He to approach him.

"So, do you like what you see, my lord?"

"Very much, general."

"Please, call me Zhang He."

"As you wish. In turn call me Sima Yi. I'm hardly worthy of the title lord at present."

Zhang He raised his eyebrows. The man before him had seemed so confident the first time they had met, yet here he sat saying he was unworthy, perhaps he was more humble than He thought. "So you have ambition?"

Yi laughed. "Doesn't everyone? Do you not wish for more?"

The general shook his head. "Not anymore. I've worked my way up, but I'm quite content with where I am now. I don't think I'd like much more responsibility."

Yi nodded his head slowly. "It's good to find someone who recognises that. You are a wise man, it seems." The strategist then patted the grass beside him and Zhang He took the offer to sit down. "You're an elegant fighter," Sima Yi began.

"Thank you." Zhang He inclined his head slightly. "Although I'm sure you already heard about that from someone else."

"There is a difference between imagining what an elegant fighter looks like and then seeing one move before your eyes," Yi pointed out. "I wasn't aware that one could move so gracefully when wielding weapons."

Zhang He smiled as their conversation took flight and an hour or so passed getting to know each other better.

**OoooO**

Baxi, it was a small place on the outskirts of Hanzhong and somewhere Zhang He was confident he could win. Sima Yi's plan was to take the town on 4 sides, 5000 men at each wall. At the 4th watch Zhang He's unit charged down the hill, heading straight for the gates, but ahead of him stood one of Shu's most formidable warriors, Zhang Fei. They both held their weapons, ready.

"You must be that one they all talk about," Zhang Fei said. "Zhang…something. The better looking one – not Liao."

"I am Zhang He. It's a pleasure to finally meet the one they say can shout men into submission."

Zhang Fei laughed. "I don't think that's going to work on you."

"Certainly not."

"Well, maybe if I scratch that pretty face of yours you'll run away."

It was He's turn to laugh. "Is that the best you could do? One day you may learn that beauty runs deeper than the skin – but enough talking." He raised his spear and pulled on the reigns of his horse.

They fought 20 bouts, but neither could win.

"Charge!" Zhang He ordered, hoping to over run Zhang Fei's small unit of 1000 men. But then Zhang Fei let one of his famed mighty roars and ambush units appeared at the rear and to the right of Zhang He's army. Some fought while Zhang He headed west to the mountain, searching for an escape route, there was small path up the mountain, and only he and a dozen men escaped on foot, the others fighting until the last, covering the general's escape.

Further up the mountain they were able to look down upon the carnage.

"Genereal, can we do anything?" one of the soldiers asked.

Zhang He surveyed the scene with sorrow in his eyes. "No. They will die for us. Count yourselves lucky, men, and mourn not, for they have died gloriously defending Wei."

Yet, despite himself, Zhang He still shed a tear for those lost.

**OoooO**

Xiahou Yuan found his friend sitting on the river bank, his knees pulled up to his chest.

"I don't usually find you like this," Yuan commented. "What's up?" he asked as he sat next to He.

"I messed up today."

"Junyi, don't -"

"No, it's true. I've disappointed him; I could see it in his eyes."

"Junyi, just listen to me," Yuan pleaded. He took Zhang He's silence as agreement. "I know what you're thinking – you believe that because you failed to beat Zhang Fei we lost Baxi, right?"

He nodded.

"I'm not going to lie, we would've won if you'd done it – no, listen, listen – we lost because Zhang Fei was too good. He took out Yue Jin's unit too and started on my rear. So it's not all your fault."

"But -"

"No buts. Sima Yi just expected a lot from you, that's all. It's good for him to taste defeat while he's still new to this; it'll make him a better strategist."

Zhang He sighed. "But I still lost almost five thousand men, my best five thousand."

Yuan put a hand on He's shoulder. "I know, but we can't do anything about that. But think – if you'd had less would you have got out alive?"

"I would've died a good death."

"What's got into you, Junyi? Wei relies on people like you to remain strong."

Zhang He shrugged. "I think I'd like to be alone, Miaocai."

"Alright, but don't stay out here too long, the nights are getting a bit chilly."

The general sat in silence, head resting on his knees, staring at the moon's reflection in the water.

Xiahou Yuan was right, when had he ever been like this? Since when was he ever out to please anyone other than himself? …Okay he had tried to impress Cao Cao in his early years (and it had paid off), but that was the ruler of Wei, not some new strategist. He wasn't even a strategist yet – he was a secretary! Secretaries weren't meant to decide battle formations! Perhaps the blame did lie with Sima Yi, maybe his plan was the reason they'd lost. Yet after spending time with him in Xuchang, Zhang He had really begun to believe in Yi. Yes, Yuan was right, Yi had expected far too much. He walked back to the camp, feeling better, more of his usual spring in his stride.

**OoooO**

Their next move was to go east back into Wei territory and wait for reinforcements, then they'd travel to Mt. Dingjun where they would set up camp.

As they retreated they found that Liu Bei himself was at their rear. It was an unusual move and Zhang He urged everyone ahead of him to pick up the pace, fearing ambushes from elsewhere. He stayed at the read with 2 units of 100 foot soldiers, halting Liu Bei's progress.

"Do you wish to fight me?" Zhang He asked. "Because I'd gladly take your head."

"I have no quarrel with you today," Liu Bei said honestly. "I am only on my way to meet up with my brother at Baxi."

"It would be unfortunate if you did not make your meeting." Then Zhang He rushed forward a dozen meters on his horse, causing Liu Bei to back away.

"Do I look like I am in a condition to fight?" Liu Bei asked. "I only have 60 men and armour that will just about protect me if I were to fall from this horse."

"Everyone knows you to be a virtuous man and that I can see – a true warrior is not so foolish as to tell the enemy of his weaknesses. Yet, do not expect me to be of the same virtue." Zhang He rushed forward, spear raised, aiming straight for Liu Bei's heart.

Immediately Liu Bei's unit turned and rode for their lives. Zhang He knew he could not catch them – they were all on horses and his unit were foot soldiers, so he threw his spear as far as he could, but it fell short of Liu Bei by a mere few feet. He pulled it from the ground and watched as Liu Bei rode away, then he and his men raced to catch up with the main army. It appeared that Liu Bei really was the honest man everyone believed him to be; not a single soldier was out of line when Zhang He's unit reformed the ranks. Sima Yi had taken it upon himself to cover the rear in He's absence, something Zhang He hadn't thought him brave enough to do.

"Where is Liu Bei?" Yi asked.

"Too far for the eye to see," He replied.

Sima Yi smirked. "Impressive. Of course I expected nothing less from you."

Zhang He hoped that meant that he had repaired his reputation somewhat.

**OoooO**

"The reinforcements are coming from Luoyang?!" Sima Yi was not at all pleased with this news. "I expected troops to be here, or a couple of days away. So, who has trained them?"

"I am unsure, my lord. I have been given no details." The inspector of the town told him. "I was only told that I should expect ten thousand men from Luoyang and only hand them over to you."

Sima Yi shook his head. "This is terrible. They must be over a week away. I need -"

"Ahem."

Sima Yi whipped around to find that it was Zhang He who had interrupted him. While Yi looked visibly distressed, He was completely calm.

"Sima Yi, may I suggest that you take a few minutes to think through our options. Perhaps alone in a quiet room?"

"Fine. But you're coming with me." Yi followed the inspector to a small room full of scrolls and equipped with a small table. As soon at they were inside he said with quite a harsh tone, "Stand there. Don't speak."

Zhang He opened his mouth to ask why Yi has ordered that he accompany him if he wasn't going to be used, but the look on Yi's face told him to leave the man alone. Yi sat down at the table, interlocked his fingers and spent the next few minutes in silence. His gaze was intense, eyes tracing the table's edge; then looking up, but at nothing in particular; he looked at the general for 10 seconds, his eyes narrowing as he did so. Zhang He noted the brown irises flecked with a lighter tone that almost looked golden. Then finally the lips that had been pursed so tightly opened, closed once more and then a tongue traced the lips before he finally spoke.

"The reason I brought you here was for you to listen to my plan, tell me your thoughts and refine the plan if necessary. So, here is my proposal: we go back to Xuchang. Listen first, we have a small army at present and it won't take us long to get back. The reinforcements can be redirected to Xuchang too. There they can be trained to your standards which I noticed are quite high. We will prepare a better plan for taking Hanzhong and securing Mount Dingjun. But why go back to Xuchang in the first place? Winter is setting in. This is a small town on the outskirts of Wei territory; it may be able to supply its current population, but perhaps not our army. At least in Xuchang we can guarantee ample food and space for our troops. That and it is unlikely we would get far in the winter months anyway… Your thoughts, please?"

Zhang He was smiling. "It's hard to believe that you were the person worrying before. Your reasoning has persuaded me that it's our best plan. My only suggestion is that we wait for the troops from Luoyang to arrive."

"But the trip will be more difficult if it starts to snow. The sooner we leave the better."

"You think like a strategist, but I'm a general and to me the troops come first. We have just been travelling quickly to get out of Shu territory and the troops could use some time to rest. I also think it would be better for us to join with our reinforcements sooner, they'll appreciate that we waited and will bond better with our current troops."

"Fair enough." Yi stood up and He opened the door for him.

**OoooO**

"Sima Yi, do you really need four guards around your tent?" Zhang He walked in unannounced.

The strategist was in his 'bed' which consisted of him wrapped in many layers of silk sheets and furs. "Zhang He, I would appreciate it if you would not waltz into my tent whenever you pleased. As for the guards, why does it matter to you how many I have?"

"Honestly, Yi, I thought you'd figured out that I'm also an untitled 'troop welfare officer'. I care about them and right now they're standing outside _your_ tent, freezing in this cold, even though we are in Wei territory and unlikely to be bothered, let alone attacked."

Sima Yi rolled his eyes. "If it matters that much to you, tell them to take the night off and you stand here and guard me."

Really, he should have known that Zhang He would take up the offer. He watched as the general walked out of the tent to relieve the guards and then walk back in, a smile now on his face. Yi shook his head and went back to the scrolls he was consulting before he was rudely interrupted.

It was some time before Sima Yi finally stopped reading and stretched his arms. He looked over at the general who was still standing and now seemed to be as close to the torch as possible.

"Zhang He, are you cold?"

The general jumped as the silence was broken. "Of course not."

"Your upper arms are bare, as is your midriff."

"And why should that mean I am cold?"

Sima Yi raised an eyebrow at the general as if to say, _do I look stupid to you?_ He motioned for Zhang He to come closer and bend down beside him. Then he placed a hand on He's arm and found that the general was a terrible liar.

"Did you actually come on this campaign with no suitable clothes?" Sima Yi asked.

"I have a large wardrobe, but the more 'suitable items' I have with me are cumbersome and only for battle."

"Suit yourself; it doesn't matter to me if you want to freeze to death." Zhang He wasn't fazed. "Why won't you just admit you're freezing?"

"A guard should never complain and always just endure the conditions he's in. I think you have a lot to learn about the way the army works, Sima Yi."

"And if you were not pretending to be a guard, you'd say…?"

"That I was very cold and hoped to get back to my tent immediately and wrap myself up like you."

Sima Yi sighed. "That wasn't too hard, was it? Get that armour off and get in here." Zhang He raised his eyebrows and Sima Yi gave him a confused look. "What's wrong?"

"I didn't think you were the type to share with…with anyone really."

Sima Yi laughed. "I know I can appear to be a tiger sometimes, but I have a nice side too. Not many people see it though."

Zhang He lifted the purple armour from his shoulders while Sima Yi untangled himself enough to make it more like a bed and less like a cocoon.

"Lay down," Sima Yi commanded as he untied his robes. The general was unsure of what Yi was up to, but he obeyed nonetheless. He laid on top of Zhang He, the bare skin of their chests pressed together. "Now wrap your arms around my back."

"Why?"

"I thought you'd know this technique for warming someone up quickly."

"Yes, but usually you'd only use it if you were without blankets." Honestly, Zhang He found it very uncomfortable, he could feel Yi's now erect nipples against his cool chest and his warm breath on his neck. Suddenly Zhang He was warming up a lot quicker than he should. A few minutes passed, during which Zhang He stared at the ceiling of the tent and tried not to think about the body on top of him, of what Yi was thinking, of how soft his skin was –

"I'm warm enough now," Zhang He announced.

"Already?" Sima Yi asked, pressing his hands to He's chest and stomach. "Here, take this." He held out his outer robe to Zhang He who put it on.

"I'm quite tired, aren't you?" He asked.

"I guess so, good night, Zhang He." The strategist pulled the covers up to his chin.

"'Night." And Zhang He was left with his own thoughts for the night.

**OoooO**

"There you are, Junyi! Sima Yi said you'd be somewhere with not enough clothes, but I didn't expect this." Xiahou Yuan laughed as he walked up to the edge of the lake that held a naked Zhang He. "Isn't it too cold to be in the water?"

"Not at all. I needed to cool down and this was just perfect."

"COOL DOWN?!"

Zhang He wasn't listening. "We should train in the lakes near Xuchang, the water resistance will make our troops much faster."

"Sounds great. Anyway, Sima Yi sent you these." He held up a waist sash and upper arm guards. "If you want to talk say so, otherwise I'm heading back."

Zhang He waded out of the water and began to run on the spot.

"You're a crazy man today. What has gotten into you?"

"No," Zhang He gasped, rapidly getting out of breath. "I am…doing…the right thing…by drying…off." Then the general dressed himself, taking the new garments from Xiahou Yuan.

"So, what's the deal? Did someone do something?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that."

"And did you beat them up?"

A small chuckle escaped Zhang He. "It's not always about fighting…or do I look angry to you?"

Yuan surveyed He. "It's difficult to tell… But angry people usually go on a rampage and wear themselves out."

"Hmm…perhaps I'm angry at myself."

"I'm here if you need me."

Zhang He sighed. This was so frustrating. "Okay, I'll tell you… Oh, Miaocai, it's embarrassing."

"You? Embarrassed? No way."

"I think I'm falling in love."

_Heavens, what have I let myself in for? _Xiahou Yuan wondered. "Well, you've told me now, go on."

"I told myself I wouldn't let this happen, not after last time…"

Zhang He seemed to lose his thread, so Yuan asked, "you mean with Xun Yu?"

"Yeah…" In his earlier years in Wei, Zhang He had become rather infatuated with Xun Yu, but they were never destined to be. Once He had told Xun Yu how he felt and Yu actually slapped He and told him to never speak to him again. Despite that, Zhang He was still sad when Xun Yu passed away a few years later.

"But you know Xun Yu was too close to Cao Cao and those rumours… Who is it this time?"

Zhang He blushed. "Sima Yi." Before Yuan could comment Zhang He began to tell him all about what had happened the night before in great detail, some parts Yuan really didn't need to hear, like how it tickled when Yi's breath was on his neck.

"I can see that you really like him – and I'm no expert on love – but I think you should get to know him better first. Listen, Junyi, I don't want you to get hurt like before, so take it slow."

Zhang He hugged Xiahou Yuan. "Thank you for listening, Miaocai. I know it must be a bore for you." Then the butterfly general skipped away. Yuan just shook his head.

**OoooO - Xuchang, 217**

Autumn was on the approach, they had been training all year and soon they would resume their campaign in Hanzhong. Xiahou Yuan had taken on Zhang He's idea and they were now spending some time in the lakes just outside the main city walls of Xuchang. They were training when Zhang He noticed a carriage heading towards the city with the characters for 'Sima' on silk covering the windows. He left the troops and jogged over to the carriage.

"Are you here to see Sima Yi?" Zhang He asked the horseman.

"Yes, do you know where to find him in the city?"

Zhang He nodded. "Have his brothers come to see him?"

"No, his wife and sons."

Suddenly he no longer wished to escort the carriage. Obviously Sima Yi was still a young man, he had a wife, he had children… But he himself had those too. No, it was different.

"Which way is it?" the horseman asked. Zhang He didn't even realise he had stopped walking.

"Oh, we'll have to leave the carriage at this point; he should be in the building just ahead of us."

He wanted to leave the man with directions and head back out to the lake, but at the same time he wanted to see what Yi's wife looked like and how old his children were. Out stepped a young woman, probably around 10 years younger than Yi, with brown hair that curled slightly. Then he helped two boys out, one who looked just like his father, with a harsh expression to match; the other was younger and looked more like his mother. Zhang He bowed and led them through to the map room where He was relieved to find Sima Yi was waiting alone. Heavens help him if he'd had to go searching the place for Yi.

"Daddy!" The smaller boy ran to his father before Zhang He had time to announce them.

"Hello, Zhao." He bent down and gave the boy a hug. Zhang He felt like an intruder and went to leave when Sima Yi called him. "Would you mind watching the boys while I talk with my wife?"

Now he really couldn't get out of it. "Of course." How could he deny a request from a friend?

"Shi, Zhao, this is Zhang He. He's daddy's friend, so play nicely." He patted Zhang He on the shoulder as he left the room. _What's that supposed to mean?! _Zhang He was worried about what he'd let himself in for now.

"Hey, mister, I'm Sima Zhao and that's my brother Shi, but he's a meanie." Shi just shrugged and sat on the chair his father usually occupied. "You're really tall, mister."

"Call me He. Now what would you like to do?" He wasn't often around children, but surely he could make this work.

"Let's play war! Shi can be the bad guy!"

"Urgh, you're so childish, Zhao." _Yep, definitely Yi's son._

"No, I'm a big boy now. You said I would be a big boy when I was six!"

Zhang He watched as the boys bickered and was glad that he hadn't had any brothers.

Zhao tugged at He's trousers. "Quick, we have to run, Shi's army is coming!" Zhang He played along with the boy. Zhao fell to the floor. "My horse has been shot!"

"Well, lucky you can fly!" Zhang He picked the boy up and 'flew' him around. "Quick, shoot them with a bow and arrow!"

"Oh no! Lu Bu is here!" Zhao cried. Zhang He wondered who had told him those stories. "It's okay – I got him! The battle is won!" Zhao clapped and Zhang He returned him to the ground. "He, can you put me on your shoulders? Then I could be really, really tall. Because Daddy is way shorter than you." Zhang He smiled at the boy and wished he'd been there for more of his own sons' upbringing.

When Sima Yi returned he found Zhang He running around with Zhao on his shoulders, yelling something about Shu invading, meanwhile Shi was standing on the chair trying to get a better look at the map of China in front of him.

"We did it! We captured Hanzhong!" Zhao yelled. "Hey, Daddy! Look at how tall I am now." Sima Yi smiled and went to take Zhao from He's shoulders. "No, I don't want to get down!"

"Zhao, Zhang He has other things to do than entertain you. Maybe you can play another time." Zhang He took that as his cue to leave.

**OoooO**

"Zhang He?" a voice called.

He turned around to find Zhang Liao walking towards him where he sat under a blossom tree that was almost ready to bloom.

"Liao? I thought you were fighting against Wu."

"I was," Zhang Liao said as he stood, hands linked behind his back. "However, disease broke out and we decided it was best to withdraw."

"Oh. How many did we lose?"

"Only a few hundred. We managed to get medicine to the troops, but losing Sima Lang demoralised the troops -"

Zhang He cut him off. "Sima Lang?"

"Yes, Sima Yi's older brother was more of the 'get up and do' type rather than a desk politician."

"He didn't even…" Zhang He mumbled to himself. _Not a word about his brother. No sign of mourning…_ Perhaps Sima Yi was as cold-hearted as Zhang He had originally thought.

Zhang Liao waited until Zhang He seemed ready to take in more information. "Anyway, I came to tell you that Xiahou Yuan is looking for you. He said you left some time ago and didn't return."

"Oh. Yes, I should get back."

"Are you okay?" Liao asked.

Zhang He nodded. He couldn't confide in Liao…he just didn't seem like the type to give love advice. _But I'm the one who usually gives that kind of advice. _Well, this was going to be difficult then…

He didn't know how long he'd been gone, but when he returned to the lake he found that Xiahou Yuan had managed to replace him with his son, Ba, and most of the lower ranked soldiers were sitting around, worn out from the training.

"Junyi! You finally decided to rejoin us."

"And I see you've replaced me." Zhang He managed a smile.

"Yep, I've decided I'm too old for this, so I'll train Zhongquan here so he can take over."

"You're not old, Miaocai." He'd lost count of how many times he'd said that. "I just came to say that I'm done for the day."

"Who was in the carriage?"

"I'll tell you later." It was unusual for Zhang He to keep something so simple to himself.

"Okay, so I'll see you at the banquet later? I'm assuming you heard that Cousin Dun and the others returned from Eastern Wu."

He nodded and made his way back to the city, to a garden where he would hopefully find someone to talk to.

**OoooO**

"You haven't been to see me for a long time."

"We saw each other at New Year's," Zhang He pointed out.

"True, but that wasn't you going out of your way."

Zhang He rolled his eyes. "I've been busy training -"

"No, you've been busy with your new best friend, Sima Yi."

That surprised him. For a moment he simply stared at the woman in front of him. "How?"

"Now, now, Junyi, a woman doesn't reveal her secrets. Besides, are you not here to make use of my all seeing eyes and ears?"

"You know me too well, Zhen Ji. But how you do this is beyond me, seeing as I always have to sneak in here to see you."

"I can't do anything about that, unless one of us suddenly changes sex. Perhaps you should ask Cao Pi for his permission to see me? After all your new friend _is _his secretary."

"Well, if he has eyes and ears like you he'll already know I'm here."

"So, what can I do you for?" Zhen Ji asked.

"What do you know about 'my new friend', particularly his wife?"

Zhen Ji smirked. "Why so interested?" Zhang He didn't answer. "Anyway, I'd normally charge for such fresh information, but your confidence in my skills is payment enough."

"So you do know something?"

"Naturally. Sima Yi is the second of eight children, his eldest brother recently passed away and his brother Fu works here in Xuchang. The other four are dotted around the Wei Empire and the youngest died when he was a child. But you want information on his more personal affairs? Well, he's married to Zhang Chunhua. She's quite pretty and has a good figure."

"I don't need to be reminded," Zhang He said.

"Ooh, so it's her you're interested in? Well, she's bore him two sons so far, but you've already met them, right?"

"That's pretty amazing, Zhen Ji."

"Thank you. Anyway, I've met Chunhua a couple of times over the years. She seems like quite a smart girl and cares a lot for her husband. It might not last now he's getting higher up the ranks and she's being sent to Luoyang to stay with Sima Yi's father while you go back to Hanzhong – someone's coming."

Cao Pi walked in. "The banquet will start at sundown, so be ready for then. Is everything okay, love?"

"Yes, I was just pondering what to wear."

Cao Pi smiled and swooped down to kiss her on the cheek before leaving. At the sound of the doors closing Zhang He popped back up from under the window ledge. "Does that always work?"

"What? Pretending to think about my appearance and other feminine things? Pretty much. So, will that information satisfy you?"

"It's more than I could have hoped for." He took her hand and kissed it, but as he went to pull away he found that she was holding on.

"Junyi, I think we're missing the part where you tell me why you wanted to know so desperately."

"It's a long story."

"Any story, however long, can be made shorter."

Zhang He sighed; she was far too sharp. "I've fallen in love with my 'new best friend'."

Her expression was unreadable – she seemed to want to smile, but also looked displeased and…sorry. "Just try to give Xiahou Yuan a break. Sometimes he's too nice and doesn't tell you to shut up when you should."

"What? Am I that bad?"

"He came crawling to me when you wouldn't shut up about Xun Yu and how pretty his face was."

Zhang He laughed. "But he was very pretty and -"

"Stop. I've heard it all before. I can only imagine what he's already been through." She then impersonated Zhang He as best she could, "_Sima Yi's so amazing. Look at how wonderful his jaw is and how striking his eyes are._"

"I do not talk like that!" he said a little too loudly for someone who wasn't supposed to be there. "And besides, I am not infatuated with Yi like that… I liked Xun Yu purely because of his appearance, but I like Yi in a different way – not to say that he doesn't have a good body."

Zhen Ji wiggled her eyebrows at him. "Oh, well, that _is _interesting. Body, not face. Anyway, I'm glad you like him in this different way, Junyi. I was worried you'd never find love again. But enough talking, the banquet's not far off and I need to make myself presentable, as do you." Zhang He bowed to her and began to climb back over the bushes. "Let me know how it goes with him."

"I won't need to," he said. She smirked, knowing he was right, but all she wanted was a reason for him to come back and free her from boredom.

**OoooO**

"So who was in the carriage?" Xiahou Yuan asked.

"Don't you know already?"

"Nope. So it can't be anyone recognisable."

"Then why would you be interested?"

"Because," Xiahou Yuan said, "whoever was in there, or whatever happened after turned you into a depressed looking little Junyi. Even Zhang Liao told me you seemed out of it when he found you."

Zhang He smiled sincerely. "You're a good friend, Miaocai." He wanted to hug the other, but resisted knowing that Yuan wasn't big on hugs in public. "Sima Yi's wife and two young sons were in the carriage."

"Oh." Yuan put an arm around He's shoulders. "Look, you have a wife and kids, so does he."

"But his are…current."

Yuan hated seeing He looking so down. Truthfully he wanted to tell He that it was never going to work in the first place, but instead he said, "there's always hope on the battlefield, right? Let's drink to that and forget today."

Zhang He raised his cup and downed it. Usually he was a cautious drinker, but today was not a usual day… By the end of the night he was sat with Cao Cao and Xiahou Dun, telling them how we scared away Liu Bei by roaring like a tiger and chasing after him on Red Hare.

"B-but how? How did you not catch him?" Xiahou Dun asked, his speech slurred.

"I couldn't – he was flying away…on a dragon!" Zhang He replied as he reached for the jug of wine.

"I think that's enough," Sima Yi said, taking hold of He's arm. "Did no one tell you we're leaving tomorrow, Zhang He?"

"I'm not leaving. I have to stay with Sima Yi."

Sima Yi shook his head. "Please excuse us, my lord," he said to Cao Cao who may or may not have been listening. Then he pulled Zhang He to his feet and began to lead him away. It was difficult work as Zhang He seemed to be unable to take a step without staggering.

"Do you think if I kill his wife he'll love me?" Zhang He asked. When Sima Yi said nothing, Zhang He asked again.

To pacify him Sima Yi said, "I don't think you should kill anyone's wife."

As they made their way up the stairs Zhang He began to mumble, "he loves me, he loves me not…" and when they reached the top Zhang He got very confused as to which one he'd said last. "Oh, Miaocai, I can't remember if he loves me. But I love him. I love him so much, Miaocai. You're the best friend I've ever had, do you know that?"

Sima Yi pushed open the door and pushed Zhang He into bed. "Go to sleep, Zhang He."

Zhang He's eyes widened in recognition as he looked up at the person who had been escorting him. "Sima Yi! Why are you…are you in my room?"

"This is your room. Now, sleep."

**OoooO**

When Zhang He finally woke he found that he was moving and lying on bags of grain. He massaged his temples and regretted the night before, not that he remembered much of it. He tumbled out of the cart when it finally came to a stop.

"Good afternoon, Junyi." Xiahou Yuan laughed. "I thought you knew we were leaving today."

"I lost track. And it was all your fault I started drinking anyway!" He could remember that much.

"Can't say I regret it – I've heard some great stories today." Zhang He waited for him to continue. "So, you told Xu Huang that you met a giant fat man and that turned out to be Xu Zhu. Then you told Cao Cao that you saw Liu Bei flying on a dragon."

"Anything else?" Zhang He asked as he straightened out his clothes and retied his hair.

"Yeah, you told Sima Yi that I'm the best friend you've ever had." Yuan smiled, then lowered his voice so no one else could hear. "You also said you might kill someone's wife to get him to love you."

"What?! Who did I say that to?"

"The person who's wife you want to kill. But don't worry – you never named anyone. He came to me this morning asking if I knew who you were talking about and I said I knew nothing."

"Thank you." Zhang He finally gave Yuan the hug he deserved.

"My lords, Sima Yi sends Zhang He his horse and says that we are ready to move out once more." The guard handed He the reigns and scurried away. Zhang He mounted the horse and rode up beside Sima Yi.

"I wish to apologise for last night," Zhang He said.

"Don't worry about it. But I'd like to know about this man you were talking about."

"I can't remember much of last night."

Sima Yi didn't believe him. "Perhaps so, but how can you forget someone who you apparently love so much?"

Clearly Yi wasn't going to give up easily. "I was probably talking about Xun Yu."

"He's been dead for quite a few years now."

"I never really got over him passing away." What would it take to please this man?

Sima Yi shrugged. "I guess drinking does that to some." And with that Zhang He quickly left Yi's presence.

"So, what's the plan?" Zhang He asked Yuan.

"We get to Dingjun via the border of Shu."

"Good, I was worried he'd go off track if I wasn't here to tell him that a central attack is a bad idea."

"Junyi, he was never really going to do that. He's a strategist, not a warrior."

**OoooO – Mt. Dingjun, 218**

"When do you think they'll give up?" Xiahou Yuan asked. They had set up camp at the base of Mt. Dingjun a few months ago and every few nights the two generals walked a little way up the mountain and observed the Shu camp.

"I don't think they're going to give up this time," Zhang He said truthfully. "Do you think we'll make it?"

"I'm not sure anymore. It looks like they have this one planned out, no doubt that Zhuge Liang guy had something to do with it. If we don't make it back I want you to know that I've had a good time fighting alongside you."

Zhang He shook his head. "Don't talk as if you're going anyway, Miaocai. I'll be having none of this mushy stuff. We'll both make it back."

"No mushy stuff? What about you and Sima Yi? How's that going?" Xiahou Yuan raised his eyebrows a few times.

"I haven't pursued him or anything. I'm waiting to see how things play out. Besides, when was our…um, 'relationship' ever mushy?"

"I found a poem you wrote the other week."

Immediately Zhang He turned red. "How did you find that? Have you been looking through my stuff? Miaocai…"

"Oh, so it definitely was about him. I wasn't sure if your wife had written to you, but had forgotten what you were like."

Zhang He hid his face in his hands. "I write these things so you don't have to listen to them."

"Well you'd do well to not leave them lying around where prying eyes can see. Not that many would actually recognise that it was your calligraphy."

Zhang He let out a sigh. "I'm glad that's how you knew."

"No, it was also in your tent, just there on the ground."

He threw his hands up in surrender and began to walk back down the mountain.

"Aww, don't be like that, Junyi. I don't even know what I've done."

"You went nosing around in my tent -"

"Hold up," Xiahou Yuan said, "I went looking for you and saw what could have been a note to say where you'd gone."

Zhang He stopped. "I'm sorry, Miaocai. I didn't want to believe you'd do something like that. What did you think of it anyway?"

"It was a beautiful poem. There was a perfect balance that made him seem like a much nicer person than he is - like you described him as cold, but then said something like 'that made him a strong pillar that would never fall', but in a much more poetic way, obviously."

The fact that Yuan had actually absorbed some of the poem made Zhang He smile. "Don't make me hug you again."

"Not if hug you first!" He pulled Zhang He in for a bone crushing hug. "But really, Junyi, these days there's too much hugging and not enough fighting from you."

"I know…I think I'm just missing the touch of another. Back in Yuan Shao's army I was of a lower rank, we had to share tents and so I was never lonely. No one minded cuddling up at night, especially when it got cold in the north."

"Well, if you want a tent buddy I'm sure we can sort one out. But if you'd prefer a lady friend maybe we could stop off in a town on the way back, unless you'd prefer your wife?"

"My family are still up in the north, and Miaocai, in all the time you've known me, when have I ever cheated on my wife with another woman?"

"Not once, but everyone knows you got it off with that drummer boy." Xiahou Yuan laughed at the memory while Zhang He blushed.

"I'll remind you that I was a little tipsy at the time and happy about my promotion. I haven't seen him since."

"It's still cheating on your wife…sort of. No – don't say it. I know you're about to start the whole 'women can't expect men to not cheat when they go to war'."

Zhang He shook his head. "You're missing the important part of 'it's better to cheat with men rather than other women'."

"Yes, yes, yes. So, we'll get you a tent buddy?" Xiahou Yuan asked.

"Can we make Sima Yi my tent buddy?"

"Not likely, but you can try."

Zhang He began to walk back down the mountain.

"I know I said you should wait and see what happens with Sima Yi, but I think maybe you should say something to him sooner rather than later. Not now, maybe after the battle, when we return to Xuchang. And if it all goes wrong, I'll be here for you and you can blame me."

"Thank you, Miaocai. Hopefully it won't come to that."

"Yeah, I don't think Sima Yi would physically assault you."

"Neither do I."

"No, he'd do something much more psychological," Xiahou Yuan said in the most serious voice he could manage, "like never talk to you again."

Zhang He gave Yuan a light knock on the head. "Unfortunately there is no way to not talk to me again. I would make you do so eventually, painfully if necessary."

"Looks like you'll win either way."


	2. The Confession

A/N: I didn't even realise how many feels one could have for part of a fic they hadn't even written yet.

**2. Caught By a Butterfly: The Confession**

**Mt. Dingjun, 219**

"FIRE! FIRE!" the guards in the watch towers were shouting.

They had been holding out at the base of Dingjun for over a year now, fighting off the Shu army here and there, but only now had Liu Bei decided to set fire to the camp.

"Zhang He, secure the eastern camp!" Xiahou Yuan ordered.

Things had changed, Sima Yi had left their camp to take Xiahou De and Han Hao further west and left Xiahou Yuan's and Zhang He's units at Dingjun. The pair had been holding up against the growing Shu army that surrounded them and had set up an eastern camp to provide a better defence.

As instructed Zhang He left and met with the unit that had already begun to attack the Shu army.

"You there!" He pointed to a cavalryman. "Go to the south camp and tell Xiahou Yuan we need reinforcements."

The cavalryman rode away and Zhang He threw himself into the fray. Hopefully it would not take long for reinforcements because this camp had always been smaller and the Shu army had worked that out.

"Duck!" He called and a number of soldiers ducked, including the Wei soldier who had almost been decapitated. The soldier looked up to see the general and nodded in thanks.

When the Shu soldiers realised that Zhang He was on the field some retreated slightly, but the braver among them charged forward, happy to be able to challenge the general directly. A smile crossed He's face, this would be fun. The first man swung his sword with all his might, but Zhang He was fast and twisted out of the way leaving the man to continue until his sword hit the earth. He took the opportunity to slash his claws across the man's stomach. That deterred a few more challengers, yet another was still willing. This one came with a spear; he came running at Zhang He, spear seemingly on target. When he was closer, He dropped the claws, moved a few inches to the right and grabbed hold of the spear when it was within reach. The soldier was surprised, and in those few moments Zhang He elbowed him in the stomach and simultaneously hooked his foot around the man's, causing him to fall on his back. It didn't take much to take the spear from the soldier's hands and drive it through his chest. On the field he looked like a monster, but he wasn't heartless; he always strived to make the end quick, even for the enemy.

A roar was heard as the reinforcements arrived, yet it was only a couple hundred men. This wouldn't do…they didn't have a chance. Zhang He mounted his horse and gave the order to retreat; he had to save as many as he could, he couldn't bare a repeat of Baxi.

"Head west to Sima Yi's force," he told the soldiers, "I'll catch up."

As they began to lead the field Zhang He rejoined the battle, rounding up soldiers and holding off some Shu soldiers where he could.

"So you're the one who's holding them back." Liu Bei had rode up to the frontline.

"It wasn't very virtuous of you to set fire to our camp."

Liu Bei shrugged. "It was a necessary move. Even a man like me cannot win a war without spilling some innocent blood."

"Then it would appear that today is the day that you are ready to fight me. How about it?" Zhang He readied himself. "Or are you afraid to face one of Wei's fiercest generals?"

Before Liu Bei had a chance to reply Zhang Fei had rode up and stopped between the two men. "If you want a fight, you can fight me!"

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't interrupt my conversation," Zhang He said.

"And I'd like it if you stayed away from my brother."

"Well, if I can't fight him then I suppose I'm finished here." He pulled the reigns and rode away. Zhang Fei started after him, but he heard Liu Bei call him back; they had captured the area, what was one man?

Zhang He caught up with the troops at the front and led them to the camp Sima Yi had set up, which he was pleased to find was only an hour's march from Dingjun, perhaps a little too close though. He refused to take any questions from Sima Yi until he had made sure that all of the troops were okay, taking time to patch up a couple of injuries.

"Now may I have the details?" Sima Yi asked.

But Zhang He didn't have a chance to respond because Guo Huai arrived followed by a distraught Xiahou Ba.

"Where's Yuan?" Zhang He asked straight away.

"He was killed by Huang Zhong," Huai said. "We had to retreat."

"Sima Yi, lend us some of your troops," Zhang He said, he didn't even pause, the words coming naturally. "We will avenge his death."

Zhang He had already begun to move when Sima Yi calmly said, "No."

"No? Don't you care that one of our friends has been killed?!" Sima Yi didn't answer fast enough for Zhang He. "I forgot you're the ice man. Fine. Guo Huai, ready _our _troops and we'll go."

Seeing as Sima Yi was closest he grabbed Zhang He's arm and stopped him from storming back to the troops. "Zhang He, I really think you need to take a moment to assess the situation."

"I've already decided that we're going back." He pulled his arm out of Yi's grip.

Sima Yi was beginning to lose patience. "You can't -"

"We can! Guo Huai? Xiahou Ba? Are you with me?"

Guo Huai took the opportunity to voice his opinion. "I think that Sima Yi's right. Our troops are tired, some injured. To attack now would not be the best course."

"Fine, Xiahou Ba?"

The young man looked up and they saw how harsh the battle had been on him, blood mixed with tears upon his face. "I…I will avenge my father. I just -" He turned away, but they could still see his shoulders shake.

Sima Yi put a hand on Zhang He's shoulder. "Can't you see now is not the time?"

Zhang He sighed and walked away from the group before they could see the first tear fall.

"Take care of him," Sima Yi said to Guo Huai, motioning to Xiahou Ba. "I'll make sure He doesn't do anything stupid."

Huai nodded and both went their separate ways.

_What would be the best approach? _Sima Yi wondered as he stood outside his tent which Zhang He had decided to occupy. He removed his hat, wondering if that changed anything. _Maybe I'll look less threatening._ When he poked his head in he found that Zhang He was sitting with his back to the tent's doors, knees pulled up to his chest.

"Zhang He."

"Go away."

"No." Sima Yi walked in and sat down a few feet from He.

"You don't care," Zhang He said, a slight wobble in his voice.

"I do care. I care about the welfare of my officers."

"Since when?"

"Since someone taught me that to make an army work I need to make sure that all of the parts are functioning. So, would you like to talk or do you still want me to get out?"

Zhang He relaxed a little. Had he actually rubbed off on Yi? "You can stay."

"I'll be honest, I'm worried about you – you've just lost your best friend, right?"

Zhang He nodded slowly. "No one understands me quite like Miaocai did. He was always there for me, always willing to listen and put up with me."

"Then allow me to take his place for the night."

He turned his head to look at Yi. Had he really changed in the months apart? "Really?"

"Of course."

Zhang He moved closed and embraced Yi – he wasn't as big and cuddly like Yuan, but he was someone to hold on to. Sima Yi wanted to say something, but he just accepted it for the time being.

"People usually want to talk," Sima Yi said to break the silence. He hadn't really consoled anyone before, but he remembered what Chunhua had been like when his brother had passed. When the man clinging to him still do not speak he continued, "Zhang He, I'm trying to help, but I can only do that if you contribute too."

"He used to call me Junyi," Zhang He said. "None of the other generals do."

"May I call you that too? Either way, call me Zhongda."

Zhang He smiled, although Sima Yi couldn't see it. "I'd like that."

"So, how did you two meet?"

Finally Zhang He released his hold on Yi. "I joined Wei back in 200. We met a few times…but our friendship really took off when we both started training troops together."

"Did this hugging business start with him?"

"No, I've always been one for embracing others. Miaocai didn't like it much when others were around. I think he thought it'd damage his reputation or something." Zhang He almost laughed at the memory…Xiahou Yuan pushing him away, the troops laughing at Yuan's blushing face. It was the first time He had ever tried to hug him.

"Can I ask if he was more than a friend?" Yi wondered if he should ask such a personal question, but he couldn't go on trying to console the man if Yuan had meant more to him than he was letting on.

Zhang He shook his head. "We were great friends, that's it. I never wanted anything more and I doubt he did… Say, Zhongda, do you have a best friend?"

Sima Yi was taken aback by the question. "Err, well… I guess if I had to name someone I'd name Cao Pi, but only because I'm his secretary. I don't have a friend like Xiahou Yuan."

_That's sad. _It shed some light on why Yi was the way he was. _Having a boss for a best friend must be hard. _

"Actually, my best friend was probably my brother…" Yi said.

"Lang?"

Yi nodded. "But this isn't about me."

"Sometimes it's nice to forget about oneself and talk about another."

"Who would you like to talk about?" Yi asked.

"You."

Sima Yi sighed. "And what is interesting about me that we can talk about?"

Maybe he was digging himself into a hole…was tonight when he'd tell Yi how he felt? "Anything."

"Maybe you can tell me about myself," Yi suggested. "Why did you call me 'the ice man' earlier?"

Okay, maybe tonight was the night. "It was how I described you in a poem once."

"You wrote about me?"

"Yes. I was describing how I saw you on the day your brother died – devoid of emotion, made of ice that wouldn't allow a drop of water to fall from your eyes," Zhang He explained. "I'm not sure if I'd keep the same description. I think it needs a little changing."

There was a pause before Sima Yi spoke. "I did mourn for Lang…when I was alone, when it hit me that I wouldn't see him again. You've done the same – you cried alone, but now I'm here you're not. Being with people lifts the pain."

Zhang He resisted the urge to grab hold of Yi once more and instead just thanked Yi for being there. "Can I stay here tonight?"

"Of course, Junyi. I'll see to it that the men are provided for." Sima Yi began to get up.

"Wait, will you stay here until I fall asleep?"

"If you'd like."

Zhang He slid his armour off, pulled a fur over him and lay down. He gazed at Yi, noticing how his hair fell around his face until his eyes began to droop and sleep overcame him. The other watched with fascination as the general's face relaxed until it seemed as if the day had not happened.

**OoooO**

The next morning Zhang He woke to find Yi lying a few feet away from him. He shouldn't have been surprised considering it was _his_ tent, but he liked to imagine that Sima Yi had never left the tent last night. Sima Yi had set up camp in a perfect place, right next to a flowing stream. He stripped and began to wash the blood off his armour and skin.

He was just rinsing his hair when a familiar voice asked, "How are you today?"

"In a better place than I was yesterday. I guess I didn't expect to lose Yuan this early."

"I don't think anyone did," Sima Yi said as he slipped into the stream. Yi didn't often bathe when others were around, or so they all thought as he never washed with the other generals and certainly not with the troops. Zhang He watched, wondering why that was… At first he thought that the strategist had something to hide, but that didn't appear to be the case; his body was perfect in He's eyes. Perhaps he was just a more private man than the rest of them. They made eye contact, Zhang He realised he'd been staring and began to run his fingers through his hair again.

"I talked to Guo Huai last night," Sima Yi said.

"Oh? How is Ba?"

"He was still quite upset last night. But our main discussion is about where we go from here. We decided that it's best to return and give up on the Hanzhong campaign."

"Give up?!"

"Yes." It pained him a little to admit it. "We are outmatched here. At present we have to accept that Shu has gained Hanzhong and Dingjun with it. So we'll return to Xuchang, report back to Cao Cao and he shall decide what will happen next." Yi got out of the water and began to dry in the sun. "Do you have any thoughts on that?"

What he really wanted to say was 'put your clothes on' but instead he said, "No, it's probably for the best." Yes, he wanted to avenge Yuan, but now he had a clearer head he knew that he would have to wait.

"If you need something to do you can help organise the troops and pack up the camp," Yi said. "But don't feel obliged too."

"No, it's a good idea. I'd like to be amongst them, some of them will be as sad as I am." He wrung as much water as he could out of his hair and pulled his trousers on, sit wet.

"Would you like to borrow a robe?" Sima Yi asked. They had lost all of their supplies, including clothes, when they fled the mountain.

"It's warm enough," Zhang He said, "although if I could take up the offer this evening I would be most grateful."

**OoooO**

The journey back was much faster with fewer troops and supplies; they would reach Xuchang the next day. Despite this they had still sent on messengers and Xiahou Ba and Guo Huai had elected to join them (Guo Huai felt a duty to the late Xiahou Yuan to look after his son).

"We'll stop here for the night," Sima Yi said, who was leading the group. It was nearing sundown, just enough time to put up some tents, although most would elect to sleep under the stars to save time in the morning. Zhang He didn't usually put up a tent, but he always helped Yi with his. He had come to the conclusion that Yi really was quite a sheltered person, used to a certain amount of comfort, yet he seemed to be gradually coming out of his shell. Tonight he had decided to dine with the men, rather than grab food and scurry back to his tent, although he did chose to sit with Zhang He's group.

"Nice of you to join us, take a seat," Zhang He said. "So, then I jumped on his horse and rode half a li away. The fool had tied his sword to his saddle, so all he could do was try and chase me. Eventually he gave up and I guess he hid behind a rock until the battle subsided."

The men laughed.

"When was this?" Sima Yi asked.

"Some years ago, the battle of Jieqiao. I could get away with doing things like that back then when I was new to Yuan Shao's army and no one cared much about what a low ranked soldier such as I was doing. Do you have a story you could share with us, Yi?"

Sima Yi took some time to finish his mouthful in order to see if he could think up something. "Nothing as exciting as yours. Unless you want to hear about the first time I saw Cao Pi."

"Well, you've gone that far…"

"He walked into my office, called me 'father' and then realised he was in the wrong place. And that's as fun as it gets."

"Aww, surely you have something better?" Zhang He asked.

"No." Yi dashed their hopes. "I haven't had the chance to go out and ride around on the enemy's horses or something similar."

"Huan Xin, don't you have a good story from spying on Shu?"

"I thought you'd never ask, my lord." Huan Xin flexed his hands. "One time Shu was camping near a forest and it was difficult to hear them with all the wildlife around. So I got lots of leaves and twigs and I made myself into a 'spirit of the forest'. For a few nights I made short appearances to the guards on the outskirts and climbed up the trees when they got too close. Sometimes I sung," some of the others muttered about Huan Xin's voice being quite beautiful, "and they began to make up stories about who or what I might be. Then I allowed them to follow me to my 'shrine', which was more leaves and branches in front of a tree I'd carved words and patterns into. There I told them 'I am the spirit of these woods. Why do you take my branches and burn them?' They were worried that I would take vengeance on them, so I told them that they must tell me their plans and if I deemed them virtuous I would let them live and not destroy their camp. They were completely taken in! I got all of the information that we needed and that was my contribution to winning the battle of Dangyang."

"I've never heard that one before," Zhang He said, delighted.

"I've told it a few times, but save it for special occasions as it's one of my best."

Zhang He took the empty bowls of those beside him. "Well, I think that's enough stories for tonight then; you've outdone us all, Xin."

"My lord, allow us to wash these," one of the soldiers said as He went to take his bowl.

"No, it's my turn," He insisted as he went to take Yi's.

"I'll come with you," he said, standing.

"Allow us to come too," another pleaded.

"I appreciate your enthusiasm for washing dishes, but I wish you all to rest." Then he began to walk away, looking back to check the soldiers had not begun to follow him. "I'm surprised to see you here, Zhongda."

"It sounded like a lot of fun at dinner in the past few days. I thought I'd come and see what it was all about."

"Did you like it?"

"Yes, I didn't realise how many stories could be heard in one sitting. Usually I'd only hear one if it was special."

Zhang He was surprised to hear this. "What on Earth did you do in your old job?"

"Boring stuff, but I'm sure that was evident from my contribution…"

"So you did not share stories over meals? We always do and sometimes you start to wonder if they're still true, because some people run out after a few days and spend time making them up when we travel."

"Normally work finished by late afternoon, so we all ate separately. It was a lonely affair, and on the occasion I was with someone it was an uptight guy who wanted to talk about nothing but politics."

Zhang He laughed as he bent down at the stream.

"What's so funny?"

"I used to think you were the uptight guy that did that."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Junyi," Sima Yi huffed. "So, was your story true?"

"Of course." He dipped the second bowl into the stream. "If it wasn't real I would've said something like 'I was up against Lu Bu at Hulao gate, stole his weapon and then took Red Hare and rode to South China and back in jest'."

"That is quite a far-fetched story…"

They both laughed. "Okay, okay, maybe it would've been more like…Cheng Lian that I stole from and then rode it around him in circles. That's more believable, right?"

"Yes. You've inspired me to make more interesting tales."

"So, I'll expect to see you at dinner more often?"

Sima Yi smiled. "I guess so."

"Are you going to wash that?" Zhang He pointed to the bowl Yi was still holding.

"Oh, yeah."

Zhang He sat back on the grass. _This is the perfect time,_ he thought. They were alone, both in good spirits… "Zhongda, I have something I need to…" He really hadn't thought this out. "…Get off my chest."

"I'm all ears."

If only Yi had suddenly had to go and do something… No, he couldn't turn back now.

"Miaocai told me that I had to do something after the battle. He said I had to tell you something." Never had he had butterflies in his stomach like this. "Actually, he said he'd be here for me too…but I guess not." He hadn't really meant to tell Yi that...never mind.

"So, do I get to hear it now?"

Zhang He didn't realise he'd stopped for so long. "I guess." This was the moment. He was panicking now – how should he phrase this? Be blunt, or try and cover it up with some fancy words? His heart was beating faster; the robe Yi had lent him was suddenly too warm… "I really like you, Zhongda." It was a start. Why was he so nervous? Probably because he was blunt with Xun Yu and look how that turned out… Yi was waiting for more. He knew there was no way out now.

Yi was now sitting opposite He, looking at him expectantly. "Junyi, what was it Xiahou Yuan wanted you to tell me?"

_That. What I just said. _Clearly what he had just said didn't sound at all like what Yuan had meant. What would Yuan say? _Tell him how you _feel,_ Junyi. Be honest._

Zhang He checked the distance between them – he wanted to be able to take Yi's hand, but at the same time wanted his face out of arms reach. He guessed he could always fall back… "Yuan wanted me to tell you how I felt…about you." It was getting more painful the longer he dragged this out. "I like you a lot, Zhongda." _You just said that! _"As…more than a friend. I…I love you." Heavens, he'd done it. He fell back on his hands and squeezed his eyes shut. But Sima Yi didn't appear to make a move. Zhang He opened his eyes to find Sima Yi still sitting in the same position, just with a more surprised facial expression.

When Yi said nothing and the silence became unbearable Zhang He whispered, "Say something."

Yi opened his mouth, but then dropped his head, gazing at his interlocked fingers. How should he reply to that? What he really needed right now was someone like Xiahou Yuan to talk to, to ask things about Zhang He that he didn't know. Was this something he should –?

"Zhang He."

"Yes?" He sounded so vulnerable and hopeful at the same time.

"Sometime ago now you drunk a little too much and told me you loved someone. Do you remember that?"

Damn, this man had a good memory. He thought that only the embarrassed person was allowed to remember such things. "I don't remember the evening, but I remember what Miaocai told me the next day."

"You said you were talking about Xun Yu." Even the details! "Was that true?"

"No." Sima Yi had him figured out. "I was talking about you."

"So, you wanted to kill my wife?"

How he wanted to die right there. "I never considered it sober, in fact if I hadn't been told that I'd said it I never would have known I'd thought about it. I have a wife myself," he added to make it seem better.

"You've waited a long time to tell me this."

"I know. I wanted to make sure it was real for me; I wanted to get to know you and see what chance I had. Oh, Zhongda, if you're going to reject me do it sooner rather than later."

"What happened to me being the 'ice man'? I didn't think he was your type."

"And I said that needed changing. You've become so much more."

This was getting a little soppy for Sima Yi. He'd never thought about Zhang He in this way… He didn't want to outright reject He, someone he respected and had come to think of as a good friend.

"Please, tell me what you're thinking." Zhang He chanced taking a hand in his.

Sima Yi noticed that He had softer hands than most of the generals he'd shook hands with. "Junyi, I don't want to fool you. I don't have such feelings for you…right now, at least." Yi watched as He's face fell. "But I'm not going to reject you either." What did that even mean?

"Thank you, Zhongda." Zhang He was holding back tears of happiness. Yes, he hadn't been met with a kiss, but he hadn't been pushed away, and that was what counted.

"Shall we take these back?" Sima Yi asked, holding up his bowl.

Zhang He nodded and walked back to the camp with Sima Yi. They didn't speak and He was always a step behind. _Give him space, let him think. _What if Yi only wanted to be friends? To take Miaocai's place as the friend he could depend on?

"Junyi, go to my tent. I'll be along soon." Zhang He did as instructed and Yi was left in peace to wander slowly around the camp. He had to get to the bottom of this: what was Zhang He expecting? And who could he ask? It seemed he'd have to ask the man himself. He could always put it off until they got back to Xuchang… _And then ask who? Cao Pi? Jia Xu? Great plan._

When he walked into his tent he was glad to see that Zhang He was just sitting there, clothes on and not laying in some awkward position (maybe he'd let his imagination run away with him on the way back).

"Zhang He, we need to talk," Yi began. "When you…declared your love for me, you clearly had something in mind. Somewhere you wanted our relationship to go."

Zhang He tried hard not to blush. He couldn't just tell Sima Yi about how he had fantasized about him at night or that he wanted to touch Yi in certain ways…because in truth that's where he wanted their relationship to end up. "I want us to spend more time together, to share in more moments, share experiences."

"Right. I'm going to get straight to the point," Yi said, "Do you want to go further than a hug?"

Gosh, Yi was being quite upfront about the whole thing, but whether this was a good or bad sign, he couldn't tell. "Eventually. But, Zhongda, if you don't want to, I won't push you."

"I'm open to trying new things, as I'm sure you've found. So kiss me." Yi leant forward on his hands.

This was unexpected – permission to touch Yi's lips. He gently tilted Yi's chin up and brushed his lips against the other lightly at first. They weren't the soft petals He had imagined them to be, but they still enticed He and he pushed harder against them. Yi put a hand on He's chest and broke the kiss. Nothing was said, but He knew that that was as far as they would go for now. In the following moments He searched for some indication of what Yi thought; his lips were still slightly parted, his eyes staring directly into He's, and he didn't know if he was imagining it, but in the torch's light there appeared to be a faint blush on Yi's cheeks.

_I suppose that was…nice. _Nice? Was that the best word he could come with to describe that? Maybe he really had liked it and Zhang He had just turned him into an inarticulate person with one kiss. What would Chunhua say? Wait, didn't He say he had a wife?

"Junyi, didn't you say earlier that you have a wife?" Sima Yi asked as he lay back on the furs.

"Yes, she's up in the north with some of my sons."

That surprised Yi, he had thought He childless seeing as he'd never mentioned them before. "How old are they?"

"The youngest is about…I guess he's around 20 or so now."

"What?!" Yi couldn't contain his surprise. "But you've never mentioned them before."

He shrugged. "Some would say I'd been blessed with four sons." Yi eyes widened. "But they didn't have the ambition that I did, preferring to stay put and get jobs in town rather than travel for the fight."

"That's a shame. Anyway, what I wanted to ask is what your wife would think about this."

"She's fine with it." He saw Yi's eyebrows rise. "She knew pretty early on that I had no interest in her, so she's got used to it over the years."

"Wow, that's pretty cold, especially coming from you."

"We were young at the time, our parents expected us to marry and give them grandchildren." He had tried to make her remarry and settle down with someone who would stay with her and give her the love she deserved, but her parents forbade her to do so, and when they passed she was content with her life as it was, having got used to it. "If I'd had my way I would've been a single man forever."

"Oh, so it's not just her?" Yi asked.

"No, she's a lovely person, but she expected what most other women expect from a marriage: a husband who'll love them."

"That's generally how it goes," Yi pointed out. "And in return the woman should love him back. Say, what's with you and Zhen Ji?"

Did Sima Yi have powers like her? All knowing? "She's a good friend."

"But do you like her in any other way?"

"No. I hate it when everyone just assumes that if you spend time with someone of the opposite sex you _must_ want to get into their pants." Almost without fail everyone who ever knew he'd talked to Ji asked about this. He'd hoped Sima Yi would be different.

"I'm sorry for asking, but you know Cao Pi has complained to me a few times saying how he's seen you sneaking around her gardens."

Damn, he thought he'd hidden quite well… "Look, I'm not interested in women. Good night." Zhang He pulled a fur over his head like a displeased child.

"Junyi, I didn't mean to…" Why was he so defensive about this anyway? Maybe Xiahou Yuan used to tease him or something? "Sleep well." He placed a hand on the furs, hoping to find He's shoulder.

**OoooO**

"Zhongda, I want to apologise for last night," Zhang He said the next morning. "I just -"

Sima Yi cut him off. "Junyi, don't worry. You don't have to explain yourself to me."

"But -"

"You really don't have to, but if you could help pack the tent away, that would be great."

Zhang He smiled and began to unknot the ropes.

They set off not long after sunrise and marched until midday when they could finally see the walls of Xuchang ahead of them. It had been over a year since they'd been here; it was good to be home. Despite their losses Cao Cao welcomed them with open arms, genuinely pleased to see them return.

"What are our orders, my lord?" Zhang He asked.

"Settle the troops, rest and relax," Cao Cao said. "There'll be a banquet later to celebrate your return."

Zhang He bowed in thanks and led his horse away to the stable where he found a familiar face. "Are you off somewhere, general?"

"Soon," Xu Huang said. "I was just checking the horses to make sure they are fit to go."

"Anywhere nice?"

"To Fan castle."

"I wouldn't fancy going further south now the summer's arrived," Zhang He said.

"We need to defend against Guan Yu; it's going to be quite the fight."

"Oh, you make me jealous." It was the truth, but at the same time he was exhausted from the recent campaign.

"Xu Huang, there are you are!" Pang De strode in. "Cao Ren has requested one more unit; he needs the horses for the men there, so we don't need anyone particularly skilled in riding."

Zhang He left the pair and walked outside where he bumped into Guo Huai. "So, you made it safely?"

"Yes, thank you," Huai said. "Xiahou Ba wishes me to pass on the message that he will replace his father and help to train troops."

"Right, I hadn't thought about that yet. How is he?"

"He has actually taken it quite well. After the first day he seemed to accept it."

"Good. How did Cao Cao react?"

Guo Huai frowned. "He's planning to go to Hanzhong himself and retake the mountain."

"_I_ wouldn't advise it."

"Then you should make him see sense. We've tried to tell him that he should let it go and concentrate on the Fan Castle defence, but he won't listen."

Zhang He nodded and walked in the direction of the planning room. He slipped in to find a number of people crowded around a map, small pieces scattered across it. Near the centre was a cluster of flags showing the names of Cao Ren, Yu Jin and the others who were being deployed there. Then on the western part of the map was Cao Cao's flag along with Zhang Liao's and his own.

"My Lord, I do not think this is a good idea," Zhang He said, causing everyone to turn and look at him.

"You're wrong – it's a brilliant plan" Cao Cao toppled Liu Bei's flag on Dingjun. "With you and Zhang Liao at my side I cannot fail."

"They want that area, and with Zhuge Liang on their side I fear they will keep it."

"Do you doubt our strategists?"

_Please, don't be like Yuan Shao. _"Not at all. I just accept that their strategist is quite talented and that we should be wary of him. Need I remind you of Chibi?"

Cao Cao shot He a look. He hated to be reminded of their defeat, regardless of who was around. Only someone like Zhang He would be able to get away with mentioning Chibi and walk away with his titles and head in tact.

"I want revenge for Miaocai," Zhang He said. "But I don't want to act when we're not ready."

"So are you refusing to join me?" Cao Cao motioned to his flag.

"No, I want to very much. But I want to secure the surrounding areas, scout and see what chance we have of victory."

"That sounds like a fair plan."

"Thank you, my lord." Zhang He bowed. "When will we leave?"

"Two days from now."

He nodded and left, everyone around the map staring after him; never had they witnessed someone walk in, tell Cao Cao to change his mind and then walk out like that.

**OoooO**

"Will you join us, Zhongda?" Zhang He asked at the banquet that night. They sat with Zhang Liao and Xiahou Dun who had also volunteered to go to Hanzhong.

"I can't," Yi replied. "I have to go to Luoyang."

"Oh, may I ask why?"

"Later," Sima Yi said. "Now is a time for celebration."

"Not much to celebrate," Dun muttered, taking another sip of his drink.

Zhang Liao patted him on the back. "Sima Yi is right; we should be celebrating Yuan's life and all of his achievements." He raised his cup. "To Xiahou Yuan, the greatest archer in Wei!"

The others raised their cups too (although Dun did so rather half-heartedly) and added things about Yuan in turn.

"Yuan was a great man. He always cracked a joke at the perfect moment and made sure my archers could shoot a decent shot," Liao said when it got round to him again.

"He saved my life a few times over the years, and his sacrifice at Dingjun allowed my unit to flee." Zhang He regaled the tale of Dingjun for Dun, adding a little bit here and there to make Yuan shine more.

"I wish I'd known him better," Sima Yi said as he stood up. "I have an early start tomorrow, so good night, gentlemen."

Zhang He made his excuses and followed after Yi. "So, why aren't you coming?"

"I have affairs to sort out back home," Yi said. "The news of my father's passing was waiting for me when we arrived yesterday."

"I'm sorry. Why didn't you say anything?"

"There was nothing to say," Yi said. "He was old, it was to be expected. Anyway, now he's gone I'm head of the family, so there are certain things that must be done. That and I also have a son to see."

"A son?" Zhang He didn't realise he'd spoken aloud.

"Yes, Chunhua gave birth while I was away. I wasn't expecting it, but we got lucky."

"Congratulations." He didn't sound very sincere. "I guess I'll see you when we both return." Then he turned to head to his room.

"Junyi, don't go." He really had begun to get attached to Zhang He, to see him as a true friend. He glanced round before taking Zhang He's hand and leading him away.

"I thought you needed to get to sleep."

"If you don't want to stay with me tonight you don't have to." Heavens, he thought he was giving Zhang He what he desired.

Zhang He mumbled something Yi couldn't make out. When they entered his room Zhang He found that it paid quite well to be Cao Pi's secretary. Sima Yi's room was one of the larger rooms complete with large vases, sculptures and paintings on the walls. His own room had come with a medium sized vase and a large bronze mirror; nothing compared to what Yi had. Yi sat on the bed and pulled off his boots.

"It's nice, isn't it?" Zhang He nodded in agreement. "Well, get comfortable."

The general slipped his shoes off and then took off the top he was wearing. He noticed Yi watching him.

"Does it make you uncomfortable?" He asked.

Why should it? He should be used to it by now. It was common knowledge among the troops that if it was warm enough and the battle was done for the day then Zhang He wouldn't wear a top. He suspected that the only reason he wore them around town was to look presentable to those higher up than him. "No, it's not like I haven't seen your bare chest enough times."

"Oh, have I spoiled the surprise?"

If Yi had been drinking he would have spit it back out. Clearly things had been going round in Zhang He's head. "Your chest isn't much of a surprise."

Zhang He pouted and climbed onto the bed much to Sima Yi's relief (he was worried that Zhang He would undress completely). Yi stripped down to his thinnest robe and laid back on the bed, happy for an excess of cushions after all the months away.

"Junyi, I wanted to ask you something, but I don't want you to ignore me like last night, so if you don't want to talk about it, say so, okay?" Gosh, he sounded so sweet when he said that. "Why don't you like women? What's not to like about the soft touch? Her breasts in your hands and -"

"Zhongda." Zhang He said to stop Yi going off into some kind of erotic tale. "I do appreciate that some men really like certain aspects of women. Troops love to reminisce about their wives. But you know how some prefer a pretty face while others prefer a nice body? I prefer a man's body. Is this concept completely new to you?"

Yi blushed. "Honestly, yes. We never used to talk much about the subject because we didn't need to."

"Well, you'll come to learn that men away from their wives have needs too. We were just away for a year, didn't you notice anything?" Yi shook his head. "Heavens, I thought you were observant. If we can then we'll go into a town and everyone can find someone who'll please them, if not then some of the men will 'do each other favours' as such, and some will even find love."

"That's nice and stuff, but I was really asking why you personally dislike women or prefer men."

"Men are more dominant; women are too soft," Zhang He said. "I…it gets, um, more…more about turn ons after that." His face was probably far too red at this moment. How he wanted to just roll on top of the other man and show him what he meant.

"Right, so you didn't enjoy _it _with your wife?" Yi asked, glad that it was darker now. He never asked someone such a personal question. Was this how good friends spoke? Freely? Without boundaries?

"Well, let's just say that it felt like a chore to have children." He'd never told anyone that before. "Lots of men say they just have to look at a large-chested woman to get that feeling, but it didn't happen for me. However, when I saw certain men…"

"Did you have that feeling for me?" Not that he was sure if he wanted to know if Zhang He had been lusting after him since first sight.

"I told myself to stop after Xun Yu, unless I was a little tipsy and it was someone of lower rank." Sima Yi didn't need to hear the drummer boy story if he hadn't already heard it. "But remember that cold night in your tent? That's when I knew."

"That night you were freezing?"

Zhang He nodded and then realised Yi wouldn't be able to see in the dark. "Yeah. That's when I knew I loved you." When he could no longer deny it.

It was only the second time Zhang He had ever said the phrase and it caused even more feelings of confusion than before. "I'm tried, Junyi."

"Good night, Zhongda." Zhang He leant over and kissed Sima Yi's cheek. A hand caught his shoulder and beckoned him to stay bent over Yi who then placed a kiss on He's lips.

"That's a proper goodnight kiss, Junyi."

Zhang He lay back, wondering exactly what that kiss meant.

**OoooO**

Sima Yi left the next morning before Zhang He was fully awake. One final hug goodbye and he was gone. Sima Yi would spend a few weeks in Luoyang before he and Chunhua returned to Xuchang where they got a permanent residence to raise his sons. Meanwhile Zhang He set out with Cao Cao to secure the areas around Hanzhong. His personal target was the Chencang area which was no trouble; he only needed to put troops in order there and he was done. The three generals (the other two being Zhang Liao and Xiahou Dun) regrouped with Cao Cao and they sent spies to Mt. Dingjun. When the reports came back they decided to try and retake the mountain, but it seemed that Liu Bei had been waiting for them and they were forced to flee back to Chang'an. They had tried, but as Zhang He had predicted, they failed. The journey back seemed to drag on for He, he had left months ago wondering what Yi's kiss had meant, and he still pondered about it as they trekked across the land. Despite the fact that they had lost, that he hadn't seen Yi and that Xiahou Yuan had not been there, he had thoroughly enjoyed the journey. Cao Cao had chosen some of the longer serving generals and to He it was like old times. There had been moments when he thought that they would overcome Liu Bei purely because they were on such a high when they fought together.

When they returned to Xuchang they were greeted by the whole town, glad to see Cao Cao return. Snow was on the ground; they had been gone since the summer and the New Year was almost upon them. The banquet held that evening was one of the grandest He had ever seen. It wasn't often one's lord went out to battle himself, so those left had gone all out with food, drink and dancers. Having just returned that afternoon, Zhang He wanted nothing more than to just lie down and rest, but he wanted to see people… Xu Huang was there, back from Fan Castle with news of success.

"It's about time we had a win to celebrate," Zhang He said.

"But a win comes with losses too," Xu Huang reminded him. "We lost Pang De and Yu Jin surrendered."

"Junyi!" A female voice called.

"Lady Zhen," Xu Huang bowed.

"Allow me to borrow this young man, Xu Huang." The general bowed and left the pair. "So, I've heard some things. Care to share?" She linked arms with him and they wandered over to a free table.

"I ended up telling him."

Zhen Ji clapped her hands once. "I'm delighted, although you never thought to tell me?"

Zhang He sighed. "I was only back for two days, Ji; I didn't really consider it the time for a heart to heart. Oh, and Cao Pi knows about me sneaking in."

"Naturally. But he hasn't made a fuss yet, so it doesn't matter."

"He makes a fuss to Sima Yi."

"Ooh, so you've been talking. Do tell." Zhen Ji made herself comfortable.

Zhang He began with the first night and gave her snippets of their conversations right up until he left.

"Wait, so you've only kissed twice?" she asked.

"Yes…we've only had two days of being with each other since I confessed."

"Heavens, why are you still here?"

"So you can tell me what he's been up to?" Zhang He guessed.

"He's here with Chunhua," Zhen Ji said. "I'll let you go and see."

Well, that can't be good. "Maybe you should just tell me."

She pulled him down and pointed through the crowd. "Can you see them?"

Yes, he could. It was the picture of a perfect family: husband and a pregnant wife carrying a baby accompanied by two small boys, all dressed well and enjoying their evening. "Are you mad? I can't go and intrude on them."

"So, you can't even go and talk to your 'best friend' if he's with his wife? Come on, Junyi, you can do this. Hugs only and be nice to Chunhua."

"You talk as if I have something against her."

Zhen Ji laughed. "Once you debated about killing her." Zhang He was going to butt in, but decided it wasn't worth it. "And you envy her, I can see it. Yi's been with her all this time and you haven't. You can't lie to me, Junyi."

He huffed and made his way towards Yi. _Control yourself. _He linked his arms behind his back as he approached the group.

"Good evening, Zhongda."

"Junyi!" Sima Yi threw an arm around him. "How are you?"

"Good." He was still getting over the shock of Yi hugging him first.

"You're He!" Zhao came running over. "Did you beat up Shu yet?"

"I'm still working on it." Zhang He laughed.

"Junyi, this is my wife, Zhang Chunhua, and Chunhua this is -"

"Zhang He, yes. A pleasure to meet you properly." She bowed to him. "Zhongda's told me all about you, says you're quite the warrior."

Well, she seemed like quite a strong woman. But how much had Yi really told her? Zhang He gave a small bow back. "I just do my job."

"Shi, say hello." Chunhua pulled the boy out from behind her.

"Hello." He didn't make eye contact and was very quiet. Perhaps Zhang He intimidated him?

Sima Zhao gave a yawn.

"Perhaps it's time to take the children home," Yi said.

Chunhua took Zhao's hand. "Will you be coming home tonight?"

"Maybe," Yi said. Despite the fact that they had moved out of Xuchang's palace, Cao Pi still kept a room for Yi and there had been many times when he had been kept late working and didn't return home until the next day.

"Bye, Daddy." Zhao was now tall enough to give wrap his arms around Yi's waist.

"Goodnight, Father." Shi preferred to just bow.

Chunhua kissed Yi's cheek and Yi brushed the head of his youngest son, Gan, with his thumb. Zhang He felt a little awkward watching their exchanges, but of course this is how a proper husband and father should be.

"So, Junyi, how did the final part of the campaign go?"

They walked towards a table and Zhang He noticed that Zhen Ji had been watching. She gave him a thumbs up before leaving the table free for them.

When Zhang He had finished telling his story Sima Yi said, "As expected. But Cao Cao wouldn't have been able to sleep if you hadn't tried. At least you all came back."

"I missed you, Zhongda. How was it staying here?"

"Honestly it was rather boring. I think that now I've had a taste of what it's like to go out and do stuff I want more." Maybe he finally understood why Zhang He had left his family and joined the army. "It's much more fun to plot rather than be Cao Pi's secretary everyday. And to be honest, I missed you too."

Zhang He smiled; at least he knew that Sima Yi hadn't forgotten about him. Sima Yi went to pour them drinks, but He stopped him. "I'm not staying. We only returned this afternoon and I'm exhausted."

"Can I come with you?"

He nodded and they began to walk towards the palace. "So, did you move out of the city?"

"No, just out of the palace," Yi said. "Things have been going around…they say Cao Cao intends to over throw the Emperor." Zhang He's eyebrows rose. "And if not him, then Cao Pi will. Clearly they'll make this the capital and I'm sure most of those living in the palace at present will be kicked out."

"Oh." Well, that would leave him pretty much homeless. He'd have to go back to living with the troops again.

"Don't worry, Cao Cao won't leave you all hanging. He's already begun construction on a pavilion for generals and officials who pass through Xuchang."

"Well, no one can ever accuse the man of not caring."

The palace was quite tonight; everyone was still out celebrating. They climbed the stairs and Zhang He fell dramatically onto his bed. "It's good to be back. Hopefully for more than a few nights." He slipped off his embroidered robe and into something lighter.

"Too cold, Junyi?" Yi asked, noting that He's chest was actually covered for once.

Zhang He rolled his eyes, ignored the other and jumped under the sheets. His eyes were already closed by the time Yi slipped in next to him.

"Junyi?"

"Mm?"

"Goodnight." He placed a kiss on the general's forehead.

"That's not a goodnight kiss." He pulled Yi down by the neck of his robe and brushed his lips with his own. Yi chuckled and lay down next to He. It wasn't long before He moved closer and was snuggling up to Yi. "I am cold," he whispered.

A/N: Huan Xin was just a name I made up for a soldier. I hope that when/if Koei makes Chunhua available that she will be a kickass wife who doesn't turn Yi into a sop (stares at Sun Quan in DW7). Although they should feel free to turn Yi into a sop for He anyday.


	3. The First Dance

**3. Caught By a Butterfly: The First Dance**

**Xuchang, 220**

"You two disappeared quite quickly the other night," Zhen Ji said.

Technically it was now New Year's Day, not long after midnight and the party in the palace throne room was in full swing.

"I don't know what you're implying," Zhang He joked, "but I went straight to sleep."

"Well, maybe you won't be so tired tonight," Ji said. "He's just saying bye to her…oh great, and now he's bumped into Pi."

"Is something wrong?"

"Nothing you need to worry about." But He knew she was hiding something.

Cao Pi and Sima Yi made their way over to the pair.

"Enjoying the company of my wife, Zhang He?" Cao Pi asked.

"Yes and have been since she was sixteen." It was beginning to tick him off just a little that Cao Pi wouldn't just let them be open friends.

"Wine?" Sima Yi offered to break the tension.

"Please." Zhen Ji held out her cup.

Cao Pi stood up. "I won't be staying. I'm going to see Nuwang, have a good evening."

"So, that's what's wrong," Zhang He said.

Zhen Ji uncharacteristically downed the drink Yi had poured her. "I hate her. She's such a bitch to everyone."

"What did she do?"

"She's been turning him against me," Ji said. "She tells him that Cao Rui isn't his son and so he shouldn't be heir to Cao Pi. She drops other little things, but that's probably the main thing that makes him hate me."

"I don't think he hates you, Ji." Zhang He could see her eyes beginning to tear up a little. This had to be the first time she'd told someone.

"He hasn't touched me for over a year," she admitted. "It's a wonder he even came over here just now."

Sima Yi sat, unsure of what to do with himself as Zhang He hugged her and told her that things would get better. As he watched and listened he saw how much He cared for her, and he saw that neither of them would ever do anything to destroy the friendship they had. He'd never had a friend such as that; someone not related that he could pour all of his worries into.

"Zhen Ji, pull yourself together." He wiped a tear from her cheek. "The maids will come running."

She used her sleeve to dry her face. "I'm sorry I'm such a mess, Junyi. I should go."

"If you need me, I'm here for you. Do you want me to walk you back?"

She shook her head. "No, it'd only give that bitch more things to say about me."

Zhang He sighed, so he wasn't the only one getting stick for their friendship. "Take care of yourself." He watched as she walked away, worried about her. She had only ever broken down in front of him twice, this being the third time. 'Never show them your weaknesses' is what she always said, always putting on a strong front.

A hand touched his shoulder and he looked round at Yi. "She'll be okay, Junyi."

"I know," he said. It was true, she wouldn't let anyone else know, just as she hadn't until just then. Back to bottling up her emotions, pretending that she was fine, that her relationship with Cao Pi was the same as always. And he too would keep up the charade.

"Junyi, do you -"

"Let's drink to the New Year!" He raised his cup.

"May it be a good one," Yi said, touching his cup to He's.

They moved around, talking to most of the people there, be it for a minute or twenty. Then they sat to watch the dancers, some held fans and others twirled with ribbons. Sima Yi recognised some of the girls from around town. Cao Cao noticed them sit down and motioned to Zhang He. The song faded out and He took the floor, robe cast aside, only a tight black top, which showed off his stomach, and purple trousers remained. He did a flip to the centre and the girls at the side began to play harps and sanxians. It appeared that He often performed at banquets, because a lot of people stopped their conversations to watch as he danced with the fans in hand, using them folded more often than not to represent weapons. Yi found the dance to be a lot like the way He fought, seeing some of the same moves come up. But he was slower this time, more delicate with the way he moved his limbs. It was beautiful…he was beautiful. Yi was noticing not only the grace that He moved with, but how nice his body looked when he did so. The way his abs stood out as he bent back…how strong his shoulders looked when a cartwheel came to pass. The man had sculpted his body well. _I just want to touch him. _He'd never really looked at the general in such detail, having always been watching in the past for what he was doing and not how he looked doing it. Zhang He did a final flip in the air, opened the fans and bowed to Cao Cao. The crowd clapped and Zhang He bowed a few more times to the applause.

"That was amazing," Yi said as He sat back down.

"Thank you, Zhongda. I wasn't sure you appreciated such arts."

"What's that supposed to mean? It seemed like most people here liked what you did."

"Yes, but that's because they see the warrior I'm trying to portray more easily. Show them one of my paintings or read them a poem and they'll lose interest. I think they're a little too abstract sometimes."

"I didn't know you painted. You should show me some time," Yi said. "And I'm still waiting to hear that poem you wrote about me."

"Shu burned it." Although he was glad, because the poem was out dated and would probably make He blush if he read it himself, let alone aloud to someone.

"Then read me another one."

Zhang He really appreciated his insistency, and who knew, maybe he wouldn't have to explain them to Yi. Xiahou Yuan hadn't read much poetry before me met He and had to have some of the poems explained to him. 'Well, why didn't you just write that?' Yuan would complain when some of the metaphors were too much for him.

**ooo**

The banquet was drawing to a close; the pair was still there, talking to Jia Xu and Zhang Liao.

"Zhang Jiao was just trying to spread peace and love, right?" Jia Xu said.

"Yes, but he was going about it in the wrong way," Zhang He countered.

Sima Yi just sat there sipping his drink, he was a little too young to remember the conflict.

"I agree with Zhang He," Liao chipped in, "if he wanted peace then why was he fighting?"

Jia Xu who had had a little too much to drink, pointed to Liao and said, "You need to fight to get everyone else to stop fighting, right?"

"And look where we are now. There hasn't been this much war since…for at least one hundred years," Zhang He said.

Liao nodded. "It all went downhill after Zhang Jiao said there wasn't enough peace in the land."

"Hey, you can't blame the guy," Xu said. "Dong Zhuo was the one that started all of…this." He made a gesture with his arms as though he had a map in front of him.

Sima Yi finally found an opening. "But didn't everyone come together in unity to defeat Dong Zhuo?"

"Exactly!" Jia Xu said. "They all saw… They all thought they could do it, you know? If Dong Zhuo could climb that high, then they could too." The two Zhangs sat there thinking about their former lords who had tried to obtain power. "Lu Bu, Gongsun Zan, Yuan Shao. They all tried and failed. The Sun family were the smart ones; they sat on their land and waited. Now they're in the running."

"We'll destroy Wu before they take over," Zhang Liao said with conviction.

"Hmm, perhaps not. The southlands have always just been there."

"They've been pacified before, we can do so again." Liao put his cup down on the table quite harshly.

"Relax, Wenyuan, we'll figure it out." Jia Xu stretched his arms. "I'll do it tomorrow." Then he fell back on a cushion and closed his eyes.

"Do you intend on sleeping there?" Liao asked. There was a noise of consent from the strategist. "I think not." Zhang Liao pulled him up. "Off you go."

"You can't tell me to go."

"I'll carry you to your room if I have to."

Zhang He laughed – since when did Liao care where Jia Xu chose to sleep?

"Wenhe."

"Alright, alright." Jia Xu rolled his eyes and walked off, not in the straight line he'd intended.

"Goodnight, gentlemen," Liao said to Yi and He before leaving the room. He had a feeling Liao was going to follow Xu all the way home to make sure he got there.

"Shall we go?" He asked.

"Sure." Yi pushed himself up from the cushions he'd got comfortable on, He lending him a hand to pull him to his feet.

"Back to my room?" He asked.

Yi nodded; it was closer. He slid his arm around the general's waist as they walked down the corridor and then up the stairs.

"Don't blow out the light," Yi said as they undressed. He was glad that he hadn't put on anything too intricate; he wasn't up to fiddling around with small closures and ties.

_Don't think those kinds of thoughts. _Zhang He could only really imagine why Yi would require the torch be lit after getting undressed. But who knew, maybe it was something else…

"No robe tonight?" Yi asked as they climbed into bed.

"The top will do." It was the same one he'd been wearing as he danced.

"Take it off."

He didn't have to be told twice, but he tried to make it not look too hasty. Yi pushed Zhang He back so he was lying flat and then ran his hand across He's chest and over his abs. _Finally._ He had wanted to do this since He had danced. Yi began to trace the body before him more slowly…

Zhang He couldn't quite believe what Yi was doing. Hadn't he said that his chest was nothing special? Yi's touch was soft, his fingertips just brushing his skin. The cold air didn't help as he felt Yi's fingers run across his nipples.

"Do you like this?" Yi asked.

Heavens, he wasn't going to lie. He rolled so that he was on top of Yi and kissed him, tasting alcohol. Maybe Yi was a little tipsy and that's why things were happening, but that didn't matter right now. Yi wasn't backing down, he was pushing back, tongue searching for more. A hand slid down and untied the robe Yi had left on, then He was pulling him up and sliding the material off his shoulders. He didn't even register that Yi was naked until they finally pulled away, both breathless.

_More._ If only he'd drunk more, maybe he would've dived right in. But that's why he hadn't – he didn't want to force himself on Yi. Yet they were so close, he could just reach out and touch him…

Yi fell back on his hands, displaying his body to the general. "Is this one of those turn-ons that you were talking about?"

Damn, he was a good listener. Zhang He ran a hand from Yi's shoulder down the centre of his chest and then from thigh to the knee that was beside his hip. "Very much so."

He felt like he'd fallen into one of his fantasies as Yi pressed his face against his chest and then felt a tongue begin to flick against his nipples. _Yi must really want this. _It was time to give into all his desires. While Yi continued to worship He's upper body the general slipped a hand between the strategist's legs. Yi was unfazed as He began to run his hand up and down his member slowly; the move caused Yi to mirror him and slip a hand beneath He's waistband.

"Junyi, take these off." They didn't leave much room for extra hands.

He fumbled around, trying to get them off as fast as possible. He was acting as if Yi would get bored if he wasn't quick enough. It was so liberating to get them off and lay down with no material stopping him from touching Yi's bare skin. Now that he knew how far Yi wanted to go he felt as if he had been set free. He pushed the other man back on the bed and began with a kiss on the lips, then began a trail downwards… _Finally time to taste the forbidden fruit. _He took it slowly, taking as much time as he could, tongue sliding from base to tip, lingering at the tip before making his way back down. Yi's breathing began to get shallower and he bit his lip as he tried not to buck his hips.

"Relax, Zhongda."

"I am relaxed," Yi lied.

"Your quivering hips say otherwise."

Yi allowed himself to move in time with He as the general continued where he'd left off. Heavens, he'd been the one in control earlier and now he was acting like he had no idea what was going on. It wasn't like he hadn't intended it to go this far…he'd basically given He the green light when he told him to take the top off. The first moan escaped his lips.

Zhang He was delighted at the sound. It was like confirmation that Yi actually liked what was happening. Hands became entangled in his hair accompanied by further breathless moans. He let the hand that had been resting on Yi's hip slip down and trace the line where buttocks met. With no resistance he pushed a finger in a little deeper, unsure if Yi had registered the first touch.

"Ah, Junyi…not tonight."

Heavens, that was the next best answer he could've hoped for. Had he thought about this? He was under the impression that Yi didn't know anything about this. Oh, he didn't care right now – Yi had just implied that this wasn't a one off! Zhang He picked up the pace, his hand moving to fondle balls instead.

Yi was gripping the sheets, giving into the pleasure that the general's mouth was providing. "Junyi, I'm going to -"

He made sure that he took in as much of Yi as he could as the man released, moving slowly to help him ride out his orgasm.

"Enjoy that?" Zhang He asked as he pulled himself up to the top of the bed with Yi.

Yi wiped away some of his seed that had spilt onto He's chin with his thumb. "More than I thought." He sucked his thumb clean and let the hand trail down to He's suitably hard member. "I think I owe you a little something." He began to pump the general and rolled so that he could kiss him as he did so. Yi was not at all confident in his technique…how should he go about this? He'd pleasured himself enough times; maybe try out what he liked on Zhang He. A firmer grip, sliding down the whole length and brushing the tip with his thumb. Yi soon had He moaning into the kiss.

"Faster, Zhongda." Yi obeyed and took to kissing He's neck and collarbone so he could hear the man's moans better. Zhang He whispering his name breathlessly until he felt the tell tale pulsing accompanied by He arching his back, seed painting his stomach and chest white.

Heavens, that was amazing. He was still getting over the fact that Yi had just done that. He was exhausted, but he'd still fuck Yi senseless if he could. Zhang He pulled Yi into another kiss, this one tender, a small thank you. Yet Yi was not finished, intent on lapping up all that he could much to He's surprise, not expecting him to be the type.

"You give a very good, err…"

Zhang He laughed. "Blowjob? Of course I do. You're not bad with your hands yourself."

Yi was blushing. _Like a virgin._ He'd never felt like this with Chunhua - was this is the kind of dominance He was looking for? But maybe this wasn't Zhang He being dominant; it was just him being more experienced.

"You're cute when you blush."

"Junyi…"

"It's true. You're always so stern faced during the day. I like this innocent Yi."

"Innocent?!"

Zhang He thought for a moment. "Perhaps not. Bashful might be a better word."

"Junyi, shut up. Or maybe I'll just go back to Chunhua. She doesn't embarrass me like this." It probably wasn't the best thing to bring up his wife at that moment, but things just came out when he was being defensive.

"That's not true. You loved this, didn't you? Has anyone else made you feel like that?"

He was a cocky one. "I did like it a lot. And someone else may have made me feel like that, but I might have been too drunk to remember it."

"So I'm better than Chunhua?" If Yi admitted that then Zhang He wouldn't care how many more children she gave him.

"She isn't as…um, talented with her mouth," Yi said. "Coming in someone's mouth is a first, but she has…well, we didn't waste anything let's say."

That would do. He felt as if he had won. But that was only part of it. "Zhongda…how do you feel about me?"

"I really like you," he said.

"What does that mean?"

_A good question._ "I love you as a friend. But I don't know, Junyi. I'm confused. How should I feel? Aren't I supposed to love Chunhua?"

"You can love more than one person, just look at Cao Cao and all of his wives."

"Honestly, I think a lot of that is just lust. I'm assuming you mean a genuine love?"

"Well, do you lust after me?"

"Maybe after tonight I will," Yi said. "It wasn't until you danced that I actually wanted to touch your body."

"I'll dance more often for you then."

"I'd like that."

**OoooO**

"Liao?" Zhang He walked down to where the troops were gathering for training. "Are you training with us?"

"I'm training the troops today while you give Xiahou Ba tips on training the elites," Liao told him. "Xiahou Dun says he isn't too great and that you're the best."

As Zhang He trained the young man, showing him where he was leaving himself open, he noticed a familiar face under a tree. Just like when they first met.

Zhang He felt a spear tap his side. "_You_ left yourself open," Ba laughed. "Maybe you should invite him over instead of staring."

He grabbed the spear and twisted it so that Ba had to release his hold. "I'll catch him later. Training is more important."

**ooo**

"So why are you hanging around here all these years later?" Zhang He asked.

"I want you to teach me."

"Teach you to fight?"

Yi nodded. "I figure I should learn a few things if I'm going to be out in the field a little more."

"Oh, I didn't know about that."

"It's not definite yet, but Cao Pi said he'll try and get me on a few more campaigns."

"I'm glad," Zhang He said. "He should be able to with Cao Cao off in Luoyang for now. So, when do you want to start?"

"Now?" Yi suggested.

"Is this what you consider fighting dress?"

"Umm. I didn't think you'd want to train more today, so…"

Zhang He waved it off. "We can work with this. Lose the hat, tie your hair back and shed as many layers as you can." Yi, being a fan of big sleeves, still didn't fit He's criteria and was given He's sleeveless shirt to wear.

"I can't just wear this – it's freezing," Yi complained.

Zhang He just looked at him, standing there in his usual cropped black top. "You'll warm up quickly. When it's on we'll run to where I've stuck that spear, back to the tree and back to the spear."

Yi looked at the distance. He hadn't run that far for a while, always having the luxury of a horse. Zhang He could see this would be a struggle and slowed his pace to match Yi's.

"Warm now?" He asked as Yi collapsed on the ground. "No time for sitting – up!"

"Give me a minute."

To Yi's surprise He actually sat down with him. "You want to sit? Okay, sit ups!"

"What?!"

"You heard me!" Zhang He pushed Yi on his back.

"I can do this," Yi said as He went to put his legs in position too. The first one was a struggle, as was the second and third. "How many?"

"Let's start with fifty."

Yi made a noise of disbelief. "I don't see you doing this with the troops."

"I don't have to; they do it before they come to train. They don't need me to waste my time telling them to do this."

After the 50 sit ups Zhang He ordered him to do 50 push ups.

"But why?"

"Because you're unfit! How will you lift a weapon with finesse if you have no muscle?"

"You haven't even seen if I can lift it…"

"I don't need to, I can tell," Zhang He said. "And if you think that this is just about a little arm muscle, you're wrong. The whole body needs to work together."

Sima Yi groaned and got on with it.

"If I were you I'd find time to do these everyday," Zhang He said after Yi had finished doing squat thrusts as well. "Shall we find you a weapon now?"

"Okay, but let's not do too much." It was exhausting doing so much exercise.

"Honestly, Zhongda, I was under the impression that you did something to keep you fit."

"I exercise the mind and don't eat much. Seems to work out."

"You should be ashamed that someone older than you is so much fitter. I do double what you just did on a daily basis."

"Well, excuse me for not being a general who trains troops," Yi huffed as they walked into the weapon storehouse.

"So, what kind of weapon would you like?" Zhang He asked.

Sima Yi looked around at the variety…spears, swords, bows, axes and more. How would he choose? "Which would you suggest for me, Junyi?"

"I think you're more of the sword type."

"Well, let's find one."

There were many swords of varying sizes and shapes. Some of which he couldn't lift easily, much to his annoyance.

"Try this one." Zhang He handed him a sword. It was plain, but a good weight and perfect length.

"This'll do."

Outside Zhang He made him get into a battle position. "Hands far apart on the hilt. Pull your shoulders back or you'll end up with terrible posture."

"Can I put the sword down now?" He had only been holding it upright for a few minutes, but he was really beginning to feel the weight of it.

"Fine, but I want you to hold it like that everyday until you can wield it for as long as you want. Training's done for the day."

Relieved, Sima Yi sat down straight away. "You're a tough trainer."

"It wouldn't be tough if you were in shape. And don't worry; it'll get easier in a few weeks."

Well, he supposed he had asked for this.

**OoooO**

"Thrust! Harder! A bit faster!"

"Junyi…my arm's…tired." Sima Yi complained, breathless.

"One more lunge! Aaand done! Well done, Zhongda." Yi dropped the sword. "You're getting better at this. Keep it up when I'm gone and surprise me when I get back."

"You're leaving? Where to?" Yi asked as he lay on the grass catching his breath.

"I thought you knew about all the battle plans these days. Xu Huang and I are going to attack Wu. We set out tomorrow."

"Your orders must be directly from Cao Cao because this is the first I've heard of it. I can't believe you haven't said anything."

Zhang He shrugged. "It's just another battle. And it can't be anything too big if you don't know about it."

"You'll still be gone for at least a month…"

Zhang He threw himself onto the strategist who was still on the floor. "I'll miss you too, Zhongda."

"Get off, Junyi, someone might see."

"And?" He asked as he made himself comfortable on Yi's chest. "Why does it matter so much to you?"

"Because…I'm a private person."

"Fine." Zhang He got off him.

"You can hug me as much as you like tonight."

Zhang He tried not to smile too much. They hadn't spent the night together since New Year's and He had begun to wonder if he'd scarred Yi away or something.

"Zhang He?" He turned to see Xu Huang.

"Ah, Xu Huang, what can I do for you?"

"News has reached us and our campaign has been postponed. Lord Cao Cao has passed away."

"Oh my!"

Sima Yi kept his face blank. Inside he was euphoric. Finally his time had come; Cao Pi would make his move for the throne and he himself would gain more power than he imagined. The three of them made their way back to the palace and Yi made his way to Pi.

"How are you taking the news, my lord?" Yi asked.

"It is an unfortunate turn of events, but we can't let everything fall apart now."

Yi bowed. Cao Pi knew exactly what he was doing. "Is there anything I can do for you, my lord?"

"We're about to receive an influx of letters and visitors with their condolences," Pi said. "Make sure only the important ones reach me."

"As you wish."

The rest of his day was spent reading through letters from the surrounding area and turning away people who wanted an audience with Cao Pi. When night finally fell he told the guards to not let anyone in who they didn't recognise.

"Zhongda! I didn't think you'd come," Zhang He said as he sat at his mirror braiding his hair.

"I'm pretty sure I made a promise earlier."

"You seemed busy -"

"So I'd just forget about you?" Yi began to disrobe. It was troublesome having to wear so many layers just to meet people and turn them away.

"Any idea what's happening now that Cao Cao's gone?"

Not many people were in on Cao Pi's plans. But could Zhang He be trusted to keep quiet? "Cao Pi will take his father's place, as is the natural order. He hasn't told me anything else about his immediate plans."

"It must be hard losing a father and having so much responsibility thrust upon him."

Yi murmured agreement, but he knew that Cao Pi was more than capable of handling this.

Zhang He climbed onto the bed and pulled Yi into a hug from behind, wasting no time with undoing Yi's robe. He ran a hand across Yi's body. "Looks like you have been working out."

"I did what you told me to."

He kissed his neck. "Keep it up."

Sima Yi twisted around and forced Zhang He down on the bed; he was going to show He a bit more dominance tonight. His hands roamed, He hardening under his touch as he began with a kiss. It was easier the second time round; touching the other was not such a daunting prospect. He was sure that the general wouldn't mind him trying out his technique for the night. A trail of kisses, stopping to suck on a nipple. Then trying to replicate the way He had taken his tongue up and down the whole length. Yi wasn't too good at that, so he used his thumb and index finger to give a boost, precum making it easier for him to pick up the pace. Zhang He wasn't afraid to show Yi that he liked it, hips moving rhythmically which only made it harder for Yi. Time to give up and just take He's member in his mouth which earned a moan of surprise.

"Ah, Zhongda…s-stop." Why stop? Clearly the man was enjoying it. "Zhongdaaa…"

"What, Junyi?" Yi asked, replacing his mouth with his hand.

Zhang He's reply turned into a gasp as he came. Yi began to stroke himself to the sight.

"I was going to suggest something else," Zhang He said. "But it's too late."

"What was it?"

"Can't spoil the surprise." If he couldn't guess then he didn't deserve to know yet.

"Well, you can continue to lay there with your secret plans looking sexy or you can help me."

Zhang He began to stroke Yi. Heavens, it was so much better when someone did it. "So I'm sexy now, am I?"

"I guess so."

"You do realise that implies that you find me attractive and -"

"Junyi, the only thing I want to hear from you is -"

"Nothing." Zhang He began to suck on the end of Yi's member.

Yes, that worked. Hands once again finding their way to Zhang He's hair… The moans escaping Yi were music to his ears. The younger man could feel the pleasure growing inside him, about to tell the other to go faster when the general began to lightly scrape his teeth against his member and sent him over the edge. Yi fell beside He and no more words were exchanged, just entwining their fingers before falling asleep.

**OoooO**

Things returned to normal fairly quickly after Cao Cao's death and Cao Pi was praised for how well he handled the whole affair. The campaign to Wu was continued and the two men were separated once more. While Zhang He fought against Ding Feng, Sima Yi was holding his daughter, Nanyang, for the first time. Anfeng was a small town in the south of what was becoming Wei's empire, but it was surrounded by fields and was considered a crucial area for supplies. Xu Huang and Zhang He need only repel Ding Feng's force and fortify the area, then they would be done. This was Ding Feng's first battle with a force of his own and he was very cautious about it. The Wei generals were happy to stay as long as they liked in Anfeng; supplies were ample. But as winter arrived there was news of Emperor Xian about to abdicate to Cao Pi and the troops began to get restless on both sides of the field. Zhang He ordered an all out attack and the Wu camp was demolished. This time they rode back not to Xuchang, but to Luoyang, the new capital of the Wei Empire.

The palace in Luoyang was grander than the one of Xuchang, this one having been built for the Han emperor. The generals kow-towed to their lord as emperor for the first time and told him of their success; Cao Pi gave them promotions and a banquet in their honour. But all Zhang He wanted was to be with the man who stood to his lord's right.

"Will you fill us in, Jia Xu?" Zhang He asked as he sat with Xu Huang outside. It was quite chilly, but they needed space to talk, away from everyone inside who was still celebrating the fact that Cao Pi was now emperor.

"Well, not long after you left Xiahou Dun fell ill and passed away. It's a shame really, feels like that whole generation is slipping through our fingers."

"You're part of it and still here."

Jia Xu shrugged. "It won't be long 'til I'm gone too. But anyway, we got news that someone else had died, and you'll like this one, Zhang He, it was Huang Zhong."

_Justice. _Although he would have liked personal revenge on the one who had killed his friend.

"Then Cao Pi started to make his move for the throne. He declined the offer three times, but those who were listening know that he made Xian offer it to him."

"I'm sure it comes as a relief to him," Xu Huang said. "He went through far too much as a child and never really grasped the power he should have had."

"The mandate is with us now. We are destined to win." Zhang He couldn't have been more pleased with the recent turn of events. "Was Zhen Ji made empress?"

"Not yet. She's still in Xuchang." That couldn't be good. "I don't think much else has happened… Cao Pi's just been making small arrangements and building up the army and empire. You might have noticed Sima Yi up by the throne earlier; he's no longer a secretary, more of an advisor who doesn't have to do all the small jobs."

"Where is Zhang Liao?" Xu Huang asked.

"He's been permanently stationed at Hefei. Probably until we dissolve Wu completely or he dies trying."

The pair hoped that Cao Pi didn't have a similar fate in store for them.

"So this is where you all are." Sima Yi sat down, offering a jug of wine around. "Everyone was about to make a toast to you, but we had no idea where you were. They toasted anyway. Junyi, I haven't seen you for months!" He threw his arms around the man.

"Have you been drinking, Zhongda?"

"I may have been challenged to a little contest with my good emperor friend."

"He's quite articulate for a drunk," Jia Xu noted.

Zhang He laughed. "And you're a rather philosophical one."

"I am not drunk," Yi declared. "I am merely a little tipsy. Why? Have I just walked into the sober club?"

"In a sense," Xu Huang admitted. "Join us anyway."

"I only came to see Junyi here." Yi gave He a small kiss on the cheek.

"And I think you need to get to bed," Zhang He said, pulling the man to his feet.

"Your bed?"

"I don't have a room here," He reminded him; they weren't in Xuchang anymore. He waved bye to the others and hurried Yi away before he said or did something else. Zhang He wouldn't mind if the rest of the kingdom knew about them, but he was sure Sima Yi wouldn't thank him in the morning if he hadn't tried to cover it up. Then again Jia Xu probably didn't need to see much to figure it out. "Yi, which was is your room?"

Sima Yi took He's hand and began to lead him down a corridor until they arrived at a pair of large doors. _That's pretty amazing…_ But when Yi pushed open the doors he saw why; this was the strategist's planning room.

"Zhongda, your bed isn't in here," Zhang He pointed out. Maybe he was more drunk than He thought.

"I am aware," Yi said. "My bed is in a house just outside the palace with a woman in it."

"Then let's go and you can sleep this off and we'll talk in the morning."

"Junyi, do I look like I need to 'sleep this off'?"

_Maybe?_ It was difficult to say. But he wanted to talk to a sober Sima Yi…

Yi was closing the door and pushing He up against it, wedging a leg between He's. He'd intended to grind his leg against he's crotch, but the general was a little too tall for it to work as planned, so he just thrust a hand down He's trousers.

"Zhongda, is this really the place?"

"Not much choice," Yi said making a start on He's top. "Not sure the wife would be pleased with us turning up."

Zhang He sighed. "We could always save this for another time."

"Not a chance." Yi removed his hands from He to shrug off his own robe. "I have been waiting for you to return for too long."

Did Yi know what that meant to him? And how he now could not tell him to stop? "Tell me more."

"Not now. Just moan for me." Yi was kissing him deeply, making him walk elsewhere until he bumped into a table. Then he took both their members in his hand and began to pump. "…Shit," Yi muttered and walked over to his robe and pulled out a small tube. He poured some of the contents into his palm and used it to lubricate himself, then he walked back to He who was now sitting on the table, moving to give Yi better access.

"You look like a whore, Junyi." Zhang He blushed; of course he did with his legs wide open like that. He felt a finger trace his entrance before sliding in. How long had he waited for this? Another finger.

"Zhongda, just do it."

Sima Yi plunged in. _So tight…_ But it felt so good. As he found his rhythm Zhang He began to moan beneath him. Heavens, maybe he should've picked a room further away, because the general's moans and gasps were louder than before.

"Right there…Zhongda." The strategist continued to hit his sweet stop, sending waves of pleasure through He's body as he tried to contain himself.

Sima Yi looked down at Zhang He, his face screwed up, back arching slightly, his erect nipples standing out. He gripped Zhang He's thighs and thrust quickly and the pair came one after the other. Yi leant over and kissed Zhang He before pulling out. He felt the fluids leave him.

"Shit, the table…" Yi bent down to lick what he could away.

"Help me with this." Zhang He motioned to his stomach.

The two men slipped out of the room a few minutes later, acting as if nothing had happened. They were relieved to find the area empty.

"So where did you learn that?" Zhang He asked, retying his hair.

"Learn what? Oh." Yi blushed. "I have been listening and stuff. Because I wanted to please you."

"I'm flattered. Although I would've liked you to have been my little virgin once more."

"I never was one so it doesn't matter anyway," Yi said. "So…where are we going?"

"You are going home to sober up."

"Can't I stay with you? I like to stay with people until morning."

Zhang He sighed. "I'm sleeping outside the palace in a tent with the other troops. If you'd prefer that then by all means follow me."

**OoooO**

Zhang He walked down the corridors of Luoyang palace heading for the planning room where he hoped to find Yi. As he rounded a corner he noticed a familiar purple robe, not alone. The strategist stood there holding another, lips locked. Zhang He hid behind a pillar, not wishing to intrude. Wait…that was not Chunhua. No, this woman had very straight black hair, not the cute curls Yi's wife always had. He watched as Yi stroked the side of her face, then she turned and left. Should he move now? Then Sima Yi would know he was watching…oh, he was going to say something anyway.

"Sima Yi!" He called before Yi could open the door to the planning room.

"Junyi, what are you doing here?"

"I'm leaving."

"So soon? Can't you stay?"

"No, my job is in Xuchang." He paused briefly. "And you seem like you have enough company anyway." He turned, walking quickly.

It took Yi a moment to figure out what Zhang He meant by that. "Junyi!" The strategist had to break into a small jog to catch up with the taller man.

Zhang He continued to stride away. He had half a mind to stop off and see Chunhua before leaving the capital – she deserved to know more than he did.

"Zhang He! Wait!" Sima Yi hitched up his robes and broke into a full run to get in front of the general. "Did you see the woman I was with?"

"Yes, and she was not Chunhua."

"She isn't," Yi confirmed. "Her name is Fu. She's my concubine that Cao Pi gave me when he ascended. She was a gift."

A sign of real power… Not many people had more than a wife. "A nice gift?"

"Junyi…" There was no way he could lie about this. The truth would come out eventually. "She thinks she may be pregnant."

"I need to go." Zhang He began to walk away and Yi didn't follow him.

He rode to Xuchang, thinking it all over, but he didn't let it get the better of him, there was someone more important…

"How are you?" He asked.

"Today I'm having a good day; Nuwang's off for a family visit." Zhen Ji brushed her hair while Zhang He sat on a chair. Everything was a lot more relaxed now; Cao Pi wasn't around and neither was his biggest spy. Zhang He could walk around without being seen or heard, Zhen Ji would only pay the maids off anyway. "You look worse than I do."

"I feel fine."

"That may be so, but wheels are turning in your head," she said.

"I came here to talk about you – how do you feel about Cao Pi leaving you here?"

Zhen Ji gave a forced laugh. "It's over between us. I doubt he'll ever lay eyes upon me again now he's emperor. It hurts, Junyi. I've spent so many years pleasing him, working my way up and it's all come crashing down around me – because of one woman."

"Ji…" He held her in his arms.

"Let go, I'll start crying otherwise."

"It's okay to cry," he told her.

She shook her head. "No, I'm getting over it. I need to accept that this is how it goes. Nothing will change it now. All I have is my son who will become emperor one day. That's all I have left…"

"Then you'll be empress dowager."

"I doubt I'll live to see that day. No, Junyi, please, I don't want to talk about this anymore. Tell me about the troubles I see in your eyes."

"Sima Yi has a concubine courtesy of your other half."

"Right," she said, sitting down, her usual expression returning. "Now Junyi, last time we spoke you two had just about kissed. So, what's happened?"

She seemed happy for him as he told her. But it was a reminder that while Zhang He had been seemingly accepted by his lover, she had been shunned by hers.

"So you two finally hit it off properly and then you find him kissing this new lady who may be pregnant?" Zhang He nodded. "What if he just wants a little army of children that you can't give him?"

"I don't mind. But why has he suddenly got someone else? What about his wife?"

"I've found that most men _try_ their gifts when they receive them," Zhen Ji said. "Cao Cao found Pi a few 'treasures from other regions' and he always spent the first night they were here with them. And it's not as if he could stop her being fertile at the time. Maybe you need to step back and view the bigger picture."

"But the way he kissed her… I almost told Chunhua before I left."

Zhen Ji laughed. "It's really sweet that you care about Chunhua's feelings so much, but you're missing the point: she has no power. Wives can moan all day and never get anywhere."

"But -"

"No buts, she has to deal with it. Chances are she already knows. Maybe she even shares the house with this concubine now. As for the kiss, if you were a woman with child wouldn't you want some reassurance? To know that the father was going to support you through what I can only describe as terrifying at times."

"Thank you, Ji. You make some good points."

Zhen Ji raised her eyebrows. "Still not satisfied?"

"It's been over a year," Zhang He mused, "and he still hasn't told me whether he loves me. Doesn't he realise how much I love him?! He once told me he couldn't tell if it was lust or love."

"Junyi, what happens if he tells you it's lust?" Ji asked. "What happens then?"

Zhang He's face fell. He'd never thought about the possibility. He always imagined that Sima Yi would come round, would just end up loving him in the same way. "I guess… I would… I don't know, Ji. Do I become an object for him to play with? One which loves him and is only used in return?"

"You could always let him go," she said, the one thing he didn't want to voice. "Junyi, I think you should talk to him. If you need to let him go do it now, before you get in even deeper."

He shook his head. "I'm already in too deep."

"Junyi, you have a chance to make this work out okay. I don't want you to end up the wreck that I am." She took his hand in his. "Go back to Luoyang tomorrow, ask him to tell you how he feels and don't go mad when he says he wants more kids, okay?"

"Sure, I'll do that." He kissed her cheek.

"I almost forgot we used to do that," she said and pecked his cheek in return.

"We never could with Cao Pi watching like a hawk. Back to old times under the Yuans…"

"I'd drink to those days if I had some wine," she said.

Zhang He smiled. "If you're free to do what you wish then come by my room later and I'll make sure we can drink to it. Or I'll come here seeing as I might not have a room anymore…"

"I'd like that." She waved as he walked away.

Most people were still in Luoyang for various reasons, but Xiahou Ba was still here, in charge of the troops.

"Have you been doing this all alone?" Zhang He asked as they walked around the town.

"Guo Huai helped for a while," Ba said. "But he wasn't much good to be honest. So Cao Zhen took over."

"He's quite a good fighter."

"Yeah, but they're both in Luoyang now." Xiahou Ba stopped and gestured at the building in front of them. "The pavilion is all set, but Cao Pi's left the palace to us, so we're housing troops in here and generals in the palace."

"I'm glad I'll have my bed tonight then."

"Aren't you staying?"

"I have a small matter to attend to and then I'll be here until we're called on."

Ba smiled. "I look forward to working with you again, Zhang He. Cao Zhen just doesn't have the flair that you do."

"I try my best. But I thought you preferred Guo Huai to me? Closer to your age and all."

"You always told my father he wasn't old," Ba said. "I don't see you as old either. Besides, Huai is stuck in Luoyang now. I think he's working under Sima Yi now."

Did Yi have a unit under him now? It seemed they needed to talk about other things too…

**OoooO**

Xiahou Ba had a small feast laid on for the troops that had just returned. Zhang He sat with him in the banquet hall with the other officials who still resided in Xuchang.

"So you didn't care to invite me?" Zhen Ji took a seat opposite Zhang He.

"I didn't…" Think that she ate? No, she was always eating in the private parts of the palace with Cao Pi and the other ladies. "I'm sorry, Ji."

She helped herself to a plate. "Is it always like this?"

They had a lengthy conversation, from the changes to Xuchang since Cao Cao died to when Xiahou Ba was going to find a wife.

"I'm sure we can find you a nice girl," Ji said. "And get married in a few weeks when it's New Year – it's supposed to be the best time."

It was already that time again? _It's gone so fast._ Most of the year had been spent fighting Wu, but even that seemed to pass quickly compared to some of the other battles.

"I'll find a wife when I'm…less busy." Ba was blushing. Women weren't one of Ba's strong points, usually tripping over himself when he spoke to them. But he could happily talk to Zhen Ji; she was more like an older sister (who could be a little mean at times). The man excused himself not long after.

"You shouldn't pressure him so much," He said.

"I have to have some fun, and there's not many people around I can do that with."

"You can have fun with me."

"Yes, but I can't tease you like that because you'd just shrug it off."

"And I'd know you were trying to wind me up," He pointed out. "To old times?"

Ji raised her cup. "To old times."

"How about we take the jug and head off somewhere?" He suggested.

The pair left the almost empty hall and walked into the courtyard. The sky was full of stars, the moon a semi circle, shining bright.

"Maybe we should go somewhere inside," Ji said beside him. "It's a bit chilly to be out here."

They turned around and ended up in Zhang He's room.

"How do you manage this?" Zhen Ji was standing with his spear, trying to pull off a few moves. "It's too heavy to do anything with."

Zhang He laughed and took the weapon from her. "Like so." He twirled it around and then set it back against the wall. "Finished inspecting my room?"

"I've never been allowed to set foot in a man's room here. I'm intrigued as to what you fill them with."

Zhang He sighed. "Furniture, clothes, the usual stuff."

"What's this?" Zhen Ji opened a drawer full of paper, some of it written on, some drawn on. She took a piece out. "Poems?"

"Poems, some half written; quick paintings; dreams."

"Dreams? I should find one of those. Or you could just read a poem to me." She handed him a sheet with a few lines on it, dated earlier in the year.

"Okay, this one wasn't finished, but here goes:

_The core glows warm,_

_Ice melts to become water._

_From cool depths a man emerges,_

_None see him but one._"

"Was that about a certain someone?" Ji asked knowingly.

"I keep trying to capture him in a poem, but he seems ever changing."

"I'm sure you'll get him one day. Have you read him any of these?"

"No. It would be embarrassing reading them back to him."

Zhen Ji began to search the other drawers…

In Luoyang Sima Yi sat before a map, but his mind was not on the formation before him. He thought of a man… So many questions flooded his mind. _Why was he so upset? Am I really that important to him?_ He needed to talk to him. _Why do I care? _Had Zhang He managed to break that barrier? Yi had always distanced himself successfully from people and their problems. But his thoughts did not reflect that person.

"Zhongda, is there a problem?" Cao Pi stood at the door, wearing more casual clothes rather than the Emperor robes Yi had so often seen him in these days.

"No, my lord," Yi responded.

"Excellent. Would you then care to tell me why you're still here?"

"My lord, may I take a trip to Xuchang?"

Cao Pi looked confused. "So there is a problem?"

"I doubt it," Yi said. There was no chance that Zhang He had ridden off and neglected his troops.

Sima Yi was not one to ask for leave, so Cao Pi granted his request on the condition he return within 3 days. The strategist bowed and excused himself. He took the fastest horse in the stable and set out, completely alone for once, only a sword at his side.

**OoooO**

"Zhang He? Are you in there?"

Sima Yi heard a yawn followed by a "who is it?" He hadn't thought it was too early to call on the general. In fact he had been waiting for him to come down to breakfast for the last hour.

"It's me, Sima Yi." He heard sounds from within and then the door opened.

A slightly dishevelled Zhang He stood there, still half asleep. "Can you give me some time?"

"Of course. I'll wait downstairs." All he had really wanted to ascertain was that the general was still here.

Zhen Ji stretched her arms. "He's come to you? I think things are looking good."

Zhang He smiled; he hoped she was right. He proceeded to get dressed as quickly as possible.

"He's not going anywhere," Zhen Ji reminded him as she too got dressed.

"Are you coming too?"

"Obviously not. You two need some alone time, but I'm not going to wait here." She gave him a look.

"We're not -"

"You never know," she said as she pulled her hair back.

Zhang He smoothed his clothes with his hands. "I'm nervous. What if he came to tell me that we can't…?" He didn't want to finish his sentence, she knew what he meant.

"You need to calm down, Junyi."

The two ended up walking down together with Ji giving him some last advice. "Don't forget what I said about children yesterday and don't get overly emotional whatever way it goes." She had to tip toe and press down on his shoulders to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you, Ji." He kissed her in return. "Expect a visit later."

"I'll have wine ready for both outcomes." Then she gave him a small shove into the hall where Yi sat with a bunch of grapes in front of him.

"Was that Lady Zhen?" Sima Yi asked as Zhang He sat down.

"Yes."

"And she's the reason you're up so late?"

"What's the time?" Zhang He looked to the light streaming through the windows.

"Not long before midday."

That was rather late for him who was often up at dawn. "We did stay up talking for a while… Well, a long time seeing as we don't get to talk often."

"I'll make sure that information doesn't get back to Cao Pi."

Zhang He inclined his head gratefully. "I appreciate that. Zhongda, can we take a walk outside?"

"I was just about to suggest that."

It was cold outside, the trees had no leaves and the remains of old snow littered the ground. Zhang He spoke first, "I want to apologise for yesterday. I shouldn't have left like that…or acted like so."

"I accept your apology. But I have to ask, Junyi, why? Why were you so upset?"

"Because I thought I was the only one, apart from Chunhua."

"Things had changed," Yi admitted. "Chunhua told me that she didn't want to have any more children, that four is quite a handful."

"And you listened to her?" Zhang He asked.

"Of course," Yi said. "She's done so much for me and I can see how difficult it must be when I'm away. It's all I can do for her."

"So you got a concubine to replace her?"

"It wasn't like that – Fu was given to me; I didn't ask for her. And I'll admit that on the night of Cao Pi's ascension I was quite suggestible and the lady was fairly persuasive as I remember. But it was only that once."

"The heavens must want you to have an army of children."

"Or maybe Cao Pi specifically chose her for that reason." Which did actually sound like something Pi would do. "Not that it's definite that she's carrying my child."

"But you want more children, right?" Zhang He asked.

"Maybe. Sometimes I think three sons is enough, but maybe another one or two wouldn't hurt."

They walked a few paces in silence, Zhang He preparing himself to ask the question he needed to most. They were in a garden, no one was around, and so He stopped.

"Junyi?"

"I need to ask you, Zhongda." He paused, this was it. "Do you love me?"

Sima Yi tip toed to kiss Zhang He. "Yes." He'd never admitted it like that before…not even to himself.

"Truly?" Zhang He asked, looking into Yi's eyes. "This isn't just lust?"

Yi took He's hands in his. "Junyi…I thought about this a lot on my way here." Time to put his feelings into words… Heavens, he didn't feel particularly articulate right now. "Umm…" This was a first, declaring his love for someone in such a way. "I can't say it any plainer than this: I love you. And I…I know what it's like to lust over someone and this isn't how it feels."

"How does it feel?" Zhang He was closer now and Yi felt small as arms wrapped around him.

"It feels like… Well, I care, Junyi." He didn't usually care for others, just family. "I couldn't bare the thought of you riding off yesterday looking so upset. So I came here to find out if you were okay…that's what you do when you love someone, right?"

"Yes." He just wanted to stand there and hold Yi forever.

"Are you okay, Junyi?" Yi asked into He's chest.

"I've never been better."

**OoooO**

"I think you're ready to start sparring with me," Zhang He said.

Sima Yi had not been idle; although he had spent a lot of time over the past year working for Cao Pi he had managed to keep up with the training exercises Zhang He had given him. He gripped his sword tightly.

"Don't worry; I'll go easy on you." Zhang He picked up a spear; the claws were for the more advanced soldiers.

Yi made the first move: a simple lunge forward. He dodged it with ease, then used the blunt end of the spear to tap Yi's side.

"That could've been you gone," He noted. "Try not to use so much power near the start."

Yi extended his arm and sliced through the air with a little more grace and then went to bring the sword down on He's shoulder, but the general used the spear to block it.

"That was a little wide."

Sima Yi sighed and relaxed his position. "Junyi, I find it difficult to attack you…in any way."

"We're not going to get anywhere if you can't hit me. Do you really think I'd let you hurt me?"

"I might surprise you…" It _was_ possible. "Maybe you should put on some more armour."

"Zhongda, don't you believe in me? You've seen me train before."

"Yes, but you've still been caught a few times."

"By the elite group," Zhang He reminded him. "I don't think you're quite up to their skill level yet." Yi still didn't look convinced. "Okay, how about a wooden stick instead?"

"Perfect."

The wooden pole was lighter and gave him much more manoeuvrability; it became a chance for He to show Yi just how good he was.

"So, when are you thinking of hitting me?"

Sima Yi tried harder and only succeeded in wearing himself out. "Maybe we should continue tomorrow."

"Sure. Change back to the sword?"

"Fine." Yi could see he wasn't going to win this argument.

Zhang He stole a kiss. "Don't pout."

A messenger jogged towards them. "My lords!" The man bowed as he caught his breath. "Lord Sima Yi, a message from the capital – Lady Fu has gone into labour."

"Fetch my horse." The messenger jogged away and Yi turned to look at He.

"Don't be gone too long."

"Did you want to come along?"

Zhang He shook his head; it wasn't really his place to be there. "Just don't let Cao Pi steal you away again."

Sima Yi had somehow managed to convince the Emperor that he would be better off working in Xuchang and they'd been able to be in each other's company everyday since then. Zhang He still hadn't asked why he'd left his family in the capital…maybe they had a bigger house there or the tutors were better. It didn't really matter to him – he was having the best time of his life spending time with his two favourite people everyday; Zhen Ji was now a common face around the palace grounds.


	4. The End of an Era

A/N: This was one of those times I had to go out for a walk before I could continue writing.

**4. Caught By a Butterfly: The End of an Era**

**Xuchang, August 221**

Rain. On a day when it was supposed to be the height of summer. Tears. Not of joy, but of sorrow. The messengers came that morning. They came bearing the Emperor's name. Zhang He knew they were for Zhen Ji. He believed she was finally being called to be crowned Empress. How wrong he was… They walked in and He watched. He did not know, he allowed this. They left with a casket and he watched once more. This time he could not do anything. The world stopped in that moment as he realised what had happened behind closed doors on this gloomy day. Someone held him back as he tried to run after the carriage, as all was confirmed, as he fell to his knees. His oldest and closest friend…gone.

He was crying, Sima Yi was holding him. How long had it been? He didn't want to talk right now. A knock at his door.

"I'll get it." Yi opened the door to see a maid, an unusual sight at Zhang He's door. She handed him a scroll of paper and said it was from the woman He needed so much right now. "Shall I read it to you?" Yi asked. Zhang He wasn't sure if he was ready, but he nodded anyway. "_My dearest Junyi, I'm sorry I couldn't see you one last time. _He _has finally ordered my death and I welcome it. There was only so long we could live in our own little world and I enjoyed it while it lasted. Don't cry for me too much (I know you will anyway), but don't forget me as I was. You knew the real me, not the others. I wish you and Sima Yi the best of luck in the future. Yours, Zhen Ji._" Yi paused to let He absorb the contents. "It looks like she rushed the last part. Here." Zhang He took the letter and let his eyes run over the words a few times. "Would you like to talk now?"

Zhang He shook his head slowly, still staring at the paper he held.

"Maybe you should sleep," Yi suggested.

"Not tired." It was the first thing he'd said for a while.

They sat for a while longer until the general took Yi's hand and climbed onto the bed. "Will you hold me until I fall asleep?"

"Of course." He wasn't going to start questioning Zhang He about how he suddenly became so tired.

An hour…two. It was a long time before the man in his arms finally fell asleep and all the pain lifted from his face. Sima Yi thought about everything…had it really been necessary to force Zhen Ji to commit suicide? Couldn't he have just named Lady Guo his empress? He _was_ the emperor after all. But maybe even the emperor had certain things that had to be approved… He watched Zhang He's chest rise and fall. This was worse than when Xiahou Yuan had been killed. She hadn't meant to die…she wasn't fighting on the battlefield. He hoped that the man wouldn't get on Cao Pi's bad side.

**OoooO**

The following week was difficult. Zhang He spent more time in his room than out. Yi watched as He painted Zhen Ji in a field of flowers and wrote poems about her, about sadness, about times past. Slowly Zhang He began to tell him everything…how they had met one day in Bohai, Zhang He was gaining a better reputation and she was now Yuan Xi's wife so they saw each other in passing more and more often, how they both ended up on Wei's side and kept in contact despite the rules that said they couldn't.

"How are you this morning?" Sima Yi asked when he woke and found Zhang He up and dressed for the first time in over a week.

"I feel better today," Zhang He said, tightening the straps on his purple armour. "I'm going to train."

Yi tried to hide his surprise. "Have fun. I'm sure Xiahou Ba will be pleased to see you."

Zhang He actually smiled at him before leaving. Then the strategist rolled out of bed too. Downstairs he found that he had been summoned back to the capital, orders from Cao Pi himself. It appeared that it was finally time to plan the conquest of the land.

Inside he wanted to pretend he hadn't seen the summons. How could he leave Zhang He at this time? No, he had to remember all that he had worked for and the fact that the general was in fact a grown man. _What has he done to me?_ Turned him into someone that cared about someone's feelings more than his own ambition it would seem.

In the capital everybody was talking. Liu Bei had declared himself Emperor of Shu and was on his way to face Wu. Whispers were going round…_Could Liu Bei defeat Wu? What if he _was _the rightful emperor? Could he defeat Wei too?_ Cao Pi sat at the head of the table, advisors surrounding him, including Sima Yi.

"We should attack Shu now, while they are occupied," one person said.

"I propose we attack Wu now," Jia Xu offered. "That way we can wipe them out and make this a two horse race."

"But what if Liu Bei's too powerful for us?"

"Yes, he defeated us at Hanzhong!"

"We need to take Wu out now before we suffer another defeat like Chibi!"

The squabbling continued until Cao Pi raised a hand and silence fell. "Sima Yi, you have not spoken. What do you propose?"

Yi had been following the conversation very closely and had come up with a solution. "We attack both."

"What?!" some of the advisors exclaimed.

"First we should wait," Yi said. "Let them battle it out and both sides will incur losses. Then we move in to take Jingzhou from Wu."

"How do you know Wu will still be in control?" Jia Xu asked.

"Liu Bei has recently lost Zhang Fei, he fights for revenge. He won't have planned as well as he could, unlike Lu Xun. So, we fight Wu at Jingzhou, still tired from fighting Shu. Meanwhile we will attack Shu at Hanzhong."

"Is that a wise choice?" Cao Pi asked.

"Their forces will be concentrated in the south, nearer to Jingzhou and their 'Emperor'. It's logical to then attack the north."

"And you think that Zhuge Liang will not have seen through this one?"

That strategist was always the trouble. How much simpler his life would be if Liu Bei had never employed him. "Perhaps we see how the battle at Yiling plays out for Shu first?" Yi suggested.

There were nods of agreement followed by talk about who would be sent to Jingzhou.

**OoooO**

While Sima Yi was away in Luoyang, Zhang He had received orders to pacify a tribal uprising in Anding. Only he and Cao Zhen were selected and they took a small force. It was a long march to the western boarder, but He was glad to be out of the walls of Xuchang. He enjoyed the fresh air and new scenery. It was not a difficult task to quell the uprising, most surrendered to them, but a few did fight until the death. It was a wonderful feeling to take to the field once more, to let his claws dance through the air. He had spent too long in one place; he'd almost forgotten what it was like to be on the move with a different outlook each day. If only Yi was there with him it would be perfect.

It was a short expedition; they were back just a month after they left. Waiting for him in Xuchang was the man he loved.

"Welcome back."

Zhang He threw his arms around Yi. "I missed you."

"How are you?"

"Good," He said. "It was good to get out of here for a while. I forgot how much I love travelling around."

"It shouldn't be too long before you go off again. You're name's down for the trip to Jingzhou, once Shu and Wu are finished fighting it out."

"Will you be joining us then?"

"No." Zhang He's face fell. "I've been put in charge of deciding what we do with Shu. Don't worry, you'll have Xu Huang to keep you company."

Zhang He raised an eyebrow. "He's not the most entertaining person."

Yi laughed. "Maybe meeting up with Zhang Liao will please you."

"I'd like that. I haven't seen him for too long."

**ooo**

Life returned to the everyday cycle of training troops and spending time with Yi, only without Zhen Ji. It became more obvious to those around that there was more to the pair than just being good friends, with Zhang He chancing a kiss in more public places. But they didn't give away much more than that, so people could only spread rumours about what was really going on.

"Will you tell me?" Xiahou Ba asked as they put the weapons away. "About you and Sima Yi?"

"There isn't anything to know," Zhang He said.

"I don't believe that for a moment."

"Well, you better get used to it, because I'm not saying anything else." No one needed to know anymore…now that they were in what he considered a stable relationship he no longer needed to rely on a friend to help him. But maybe it was also because Ba was likely to talk to someone else about it.

"Zhongda, did you ever tell anyone about us?" Zhang He asked over dinner.

"Only one person: Chunhua."

Zhang He almost choked on his mouthful. "You told her?! What did she say?"

"Well when we had the 'no more children' talk she asked about what I would do to keep myself happy. And I told her that we had an 'arrangement' as it were."

"Was that what you called it?" Zhang He giggled.

"Yeah, well, I was trying to make it sound like I was still hers and not just say 'excellent, thanks' and run off with you. But I did tell her when I went to back to Luoyang after I figured out that I do love you and she helped me to sort things out in my head."

"That's really sweet of her." Did she not hate him? He couldn't believe he'd ever considered disposing of her.

"I'm assuming you only told Xiahou Yuan and Zhen Ji?"

"Yep, and it's thanks to them that I ever said anything to you."

"Sounds like you told Lady Zhen a lot more than I thought, with her wishing us luck and stuff," Yi said. "Not 'good luck with Sima Yi', it was luck to us both, as an item."

He didn't think that Sima Yi would care too much. "She knew everything. I didn't hide stuff from her. Have you hidden stuff from Chunhua?"

"I told her that it was a strictly 'hand business' between us." Zhang He laughed at his choice of words again. "That we didn't kiss or anything. But that was before I told her I loved you, so she's probably caught on that it's not like that 'anymore'."

"I think we should take this conversation elsewhere." Zhang He smiled at Xiahou Ba who was watching them from the other side of the room.

"I thought you wouldn't mind him knowing," Yi said as he followed He's gaze.

"He's too nosy. You seemed a little horrified when I said I'd told Zhen Ji everything, what if he told someone and it spread through the kingdom? I'm only thinking of you; I personally don't mind if Cao Pi finds out that I have no interest in women."

"It's not about the fact that it's you," Yi said. "I just like a little privacy."

"I know, so let's go."

"To your room."

**OoooO**

"Ahh, Junyi…" Sima Yi moaned under the general.

A knock. "General Zhang He?"

The strategist gasped. "Do you think they heard?"

Zhang He didn't answer; he just pulled himself off the other and wrapped a robe around himself.

"Yes?" he asked as he opened the door slightly.

A messenger stood there and held out a scroll with the imperial seal on it. "Emperor Wen requests an audience with you immediately."

The general took a look at the contents of the summons. "I can be there this afternoon." The messenger bowed and left.

"What does Zihuan want?" Sima Yi said, annoyed that they'd been interrupted.

"_Emperor Wen_," Zhang He corrected him, "says that Shu has finally lost as you predicted and that I need to see him. Honestly, can't I just go to Jingzhou from here?"

"It's not like Luoyang's far. Now, shall we continue?"

Zhang He climbed back on top of the strategist. "I'm going to miss this." He meant their morning love sessions which were becoming a more frequent thing.

"Once you're out there you won't mind," Yi said. "Now, enough talking."

**OoooO – Autumn 222**

The march to Jingzhou took a long time with the thirty thousand soldiers they took with them. On their way they received news that Zhang Liao had died of illness, but fought to the end. That night the air was full of the greatest stories of Liao's life from soldiers who had been trained by him to Xu Huang's memories of their time under Dong Zhuo. It was sad to lose another great warrior and it reminded He that he too was getting older. He looked at the soldiers around him, wondering if any of them would be the next Zhang Liao.

"Zhang He, you will lead the army across the river to Jiangling fortress," Cao Zhen said as they crossed into Jingzhou. "Secure areas for us to lay bridges."

The water was shallow enough for the soldiers to wade through. They crossed at night, but Sun Sheng was still waiting for them on the other side. His force was only small though and the Wei army over ran them. Sheng would not surrender and wasn't good for much else, so Zhang He put an end to him. They secured the river banks and bridges were built. Jiangling was a fortress before them, Zhu Ran and his small army safely behind the city walls.

"I suggest that we cut off their supplies entirely," Zhang He said after a week of trying to entice Zhu Ran out. It had become one of his favourite strategies after the way Cao Cao had burned Wuchao at Guandu.

Cao Zhen agreed to the plan and soon they received reports of unrest within the city. Now all they had to do was wait… Unfortunately the Wu forces were in luck as they received aid from Zhuge Jin and Pan Zhang who burned Wei's bridges and launched an attack on their camp.

**ooo**

Sima Yi had ordered an attack on Shu, but he was only chipping away at their borders, trying not to draw much attention. So far he hadn't heard a whisper of Zhuge Liang. Then he found out why.

"Liu Bei has passed away in Baidi," a messenger reported.

A grin crossed Yi's face. It was perfect; Liang was preoccupied in the south no doubt and all of Shu would be in disarray with the loss of their leader. He pressed the attack, heading closer to the centre. But of course they had not left the rest of the land unprotected. Zhao Yun was waiting for someone to try and invade, and he had an army big enough to hold most off.

The two armies waited for the other to make the first move and declare war.

"Why isn't he attacking?" Guo Huai asked. "We're in his territory after all."

"I wondered that too," Yi said with a chuckle. "I've come to the conclusion that he is as 'virtuous' as his lord and won't attack unless we do so first."

"So, when will we attack?"

"We won't," Yi said simply. "He has a massive army that we can see from here, but even if we get past that there will be more stationed in Hanzhong to reinforce him. There is no point trying to fight them."

"Then how will we ever take Shu?" Huai asked.

"I am still considering that. Personally I'd like to see an all out attack from Wu, where we take their lands as it's left unprotected and then proceed to take the riverlands if they manage them. If they don't then we'd have Wu's lands and would take Shu easily."

"That's a plan made of dreams," Guo Huai said.

"I know. I doubt Wu would be so foolish. But we have a new chance against Shu anyway. The old core is dying out and the new generation doesn't seem to have the same passion. Liu Shan is still very young, he could be the weak link, much like Emperor Xian turned out to be."

"But he has Zhuge Liang at his side."

"Yes, the final problem…"

**OoooO – Luoyang, Summer 223**

"This has not gone as expected," Cao Pi said as he sat upon the throne in Luoyang. Before him, knelt on the floor, were all of his advisors and generals involved in the three pronged attack against Wu. "Dongkou was an unfortunate loss, but without Zhang Liao we lacked something. Ruxukou is a mystery. If only Cao Ren had survived to tell us what tactics Wu employed to overcome us with such a small force. But Jiangling?" Cao Pi paused to look at the four generals before him. "All four of you sit before me. Explain, Cao Zhen."

The man kow-towed and then explained how the first part of the battle had played out. "Then Zhuge Jin and Pan Zhang attacked us. Their force was much larger than Zhu Ran's."

"Larger than yours?" Cao Pi asked.

"No, my lord. But they used their force very well."

"Do tell."

Cao Zhen seemed scared. Everyone could see how disappointed Cao Pi was. "They tried to surround us."

"Tried? I was under the impression they succeeded."

"Zhang He said that they might try to, so he disobeyed me and took a unit further out to stop them doing so. He stopped them from a complete success, but I only allowed him a small unit."

"Maybe you will think more carefully next time. But I don't understand why you waited. What happened to the siege weapons?" Cao Pi asked.

"Zhu Ran burned them during the night."

Cao Pi let out a long sigh. "It would appear that I need to do certain things myself. You are all excused."

**OoooO**

There was no banquet that night, which reflected just how disappointed Cao Pi was. There would however be one the following night to honour those that died in battle.

"Where is your tent?" Sima Yi asked as he walked hand in hand with Zhang He to the outskirts of the city where the troops were resting.

"Packed and ready to go."

"Then where are you sleeping?"

"Under the stars." Zhang He stopped as they reached a lake, smaller than the ones in Xuchang. Sima Yi watched as He slid his robe off and saw the bruises and small wounds that marked He's body.

"Heavens, Junyi!" Yi exclaimed as Zhang He eased himself into the water, still warm from the sun shining on it all day.

"It's only a few scratches."

"More than a few, how -" He stopped himself from asking the most obvious question.

"I was the vanguard for the initial attack and I really got in there. It felt wonderful to be just a soldier again."

"You should have been more careful…" Yi ran a hand over He's arm, feeling the slightly raised areas.

"Stop worrying. I'm fine." He waded out further into the lake. "How did it go with Shu?"

"We came across Zhao Yun not far in, but we managed to get a town and a few villages." Sima Yi was slipping his boots off.

"I'm sure Cao Pi was happy with that, well not about Zhao Yun…"

"_Emperor Wen._" Sima Yi mimicked him. "But yes, he agreed that it was the right decision. Heavens, it's freezing."

Zhang He laughed. "If you wore fewer layers it wouldn't be such a shock." Then he splashed some water in Yi's direction which made the strategist yelp.

"Junyi!" In return he used both his hands to send a wave of water at the general. As he walked further in his foot caught something and he fell face first into the lake.

"Are you acclimatised now?" He asked.

Yi pushed his hair out of his face. "Quite." He continued to walk until he reached Zhang He, put his arms around the general's waist and kissed him by standing on a rock on the lake bed. "The next time you go to battle I'm going with you."

"I don't need you to babysit me. I'll look as good as new in a few weeks."

"I didn't mean because of the wounds, I just really missed you," Yi said, twirling a strand of He's hair around his finger. "And now I've got a little more power I'll use it to have you under my command."

"Under your command?" Zhang He raised his eyebrows in a sexy fashion. "I was under the impression that you wanted me to be the one in control."

Sima Yi pushed him away playfully. "Well if you don't want to… I guess I could train Chunhua and disguise her as a man."

Things were getting a little out of hand… "Are you returning to Xuchang?"

"Not until Zihuan has extracted all the strategies he wants out of me."

Zhang He made a sad face. "Maybe I should put up a tent tonight…"

**OoooO**

Zhang He did not return to Xuchang; he was to be stationed in Chang'an from now on, closer to the Wei-Shu boarder. This was where Sima Yi kept his forces, knowing that it would be he who took on the task of facing Shu sooner or later. There were many unfamiliar faces, but he recognised Guo Huai at least.

"What do you think?" Guo Huai asked.

"It's incredible." The palace in Chang'an was even grander than the one in Luoyang, this one having been added to by its many occupants earlier in the dynasty.

"Your room's this way," Huai said, breaking Zhang He out of his daydream about past Emperors that had walked down these halls.

"I have a room?!"

"With all the extensions this palace has I wouldn't be surprised if Sima Yi starts handing out rooms to all the soldiers too."

"So he has control of the place now?" They didn't really discuss how much power they seemed to have or how many troops they controlled, but Zhang He was impressed that Sima Yi had worked his way up this far from the small desk job he'd once had under Cao Cao.

The room that Zhang He found he was now an occupant of was larger than he'd imagined. Not as big as Zhen Ji's was, but with ceilings just as high and a bed with gold silk curtains. He saw a bronze mirror on a table and walked over to it. It seemed that Yi had been planning this move; it was his mirror from Xuchang and in the drawers of the desk was all of his poems and paintings.

"Not bad." Zhang He had forgotten that Guo Huai was with him. "He must really like you. I'm not even sure if his wife has a room this nice."

"Chunhua's here?"

"Do you mean Lady Zhang? She'll be leaving the capital soon with her children to live here."

He hadn't seen Yi's boys for a long time…He guessed that Zhao wouldn't be the cute little boy he had once played with, although Shi was probably just the same.

**OoooO**

It was odd being in Chang'an. No longer did he wake at dawn to train troops - that responsibility had fallen to a younger man called Deng Ai. But Zhang He still found himself walking down to the training grounds at some point in the morning and helping out. Most of these troops were from the western part of the empire, ones he hadn't seen before. It saddened him a little that his troops had returned to Xuchang without him, but Cao Pi had chosen them to go with him to Wu when he launched the next attack. So he spent time getting to know these new faces. Then one day, about a fortnight after his arrival, a carriage with the Sima flag arrived. The general had been writing poetry about the beauty of the palace, sitting on a window ledge which gave him a view of the atrium, displaying some of the best artworks to awe guests, as well as a view of the front gardens. As he looked out at the flowers he noticed a group of people – a man, two women, two teenagers and 3 small children. When he realised it was Yi's family he was tempted to slide off the ledge and hide under it. _What am I hiding from? _Maybe he just wasn't a family person, or maybe it's because he was embarrassed about meeting again Chunhua now that she knew. Sima Yi caught his eye and gave a wave. Before he knew it Zhao was there beside him.

"Hi, Zhang He," the boy said. "I remember you from years ago, do you remember me?"

"Of course I do." He still had a cute face after all this time.

"That's cool. But it has only been three and a half years." The boy spoke quickly, he seemed excited. "I just wanted to ask if you would give me a few training lessons, because I want to help fight and Dad says I'm old enough to hold a weapon now and -"

"Zhao!" Yi called the boy. "Stop harassing Zhang He."

"I'm sorry." Zhao bowed quickly.

"Hey, Zhao, come and find me tomorrow and I'll give you a lesson."

A wide grin appeared on his face. "That's awesome! Thank you so much." Then he ran after his family.

_He's a cute kid. _Although how he and Shi came from the same home confused him. He turned his attention back to his poem.

"Was I gone long?" Yi asked, finding Zhang He in the same spot as when he had walked past earlier.

"It felt like it."

Sima Yi tilted He's chin up and kissed him before taking a seat opposite. "This is my permanent station now. I deal with Shu from here and he's taking advice from others about what to do with Wu."

"So, have you got a plan?"

"No, I'm waiting for now. Things are still settling in Shu, so Zhuge Liang is going to be very alert."

"I'm hearing his name more and more," Zhang He said.

"Yes, he's more talented than I would like."

**OoooO**

"Hold it a little further down, it'll give you more range that way."

Sima Zhao adjusted his hands. "I don't really like spears. Can't I have a sword?"

"When you've built some muscle, yes. But a good soldier should know how to wield a good variety of weapons," Zhang He said. "What if you were out on the field and you misplaced your sword, then you might have to use a spear."

"People don't just misplace their weapons on a battlefield," Zhao pointed out.

"I was suggesting that your horse runs off with it or it breaks. Now, show me a lunge, or are you better off behind the lines?"

Zhao thrust forward and let out a growl. "I'm a warrior! Shi's the one who plots."

"Didn't fancy following in your father's footsteps?"

The boy pulled the spear back and thrust again. "Nope, that's boring – I want to be like you!"

That was sweet. He hadn't really had kids aspire to be like him. Or rather he hadn't met enough kids who said that.

"Dad makes me listen to the tactics and stuff he's teaching Shi," Zhao continued. "It's a bit boring. He said you were at Wuchao when Cao Cao burned it, is that true?"

"I was in the area, yes." It made him feel old to remember while looking at the boy who hadn't even been thought of when it happened.

"That's so cool! How did you survive?!"

Heavens, this boy was a bit of a handful. "Well, I wasn't in the store, so I was never really in any danger." Zhao looked a little disappointed. "But let me tell you about this time earlier this year…" He recounted the story of how he took out Sun Sheng's unit, adding a few dangerous moments to please the boy.

"Can you tell me more stories?"

"Zhao!" Sima Shi stood a short distance away. "It's time for our lesson." The teenager then turned, not waiting for his brother. He didn't even look at Zhang He, making the general feel like he had done something wrong. But he reminded himself that Shi had been that way as a child too.

"Aww man, I guess you can tell me more another time." Zhao got up and began to walk after his brother. "Bye, Zhang He."

**OoooO – Chang'an, the end of 223**

In the banquet hall Sima Yi sat with Chunhua and Zhao, which was just fine with Zhang He as he returned from night training with Deng Ai. Usually Fu would stay with the younger children in their room and eat with them there which pleased Zhang He because the one time he had eaten dinner with her present it had been an awkward affair. As for Shi, he usually just sat with someone else, probably just to eat in peace without Zhao talking in his ear.

"Hey! Zhang He!" Zhao waved him over. He saw Yi give Zhao a tap on the head.

"- you need to learn to be a little quieter," he heard Yi saying as he sat down.

"It's fine, I think he's cute," Zhang He said.

"I'm not cute!" Zhao protested.

"Zhao, dear, this is what we're talking about," Chunhua said. "Zhang He doesn't have to live with this, but we do."

"But, Mum…"

"Just lower the volume a little."

"Take a leaf out of Shi's book," Yi suggested.

"Yeah, right. You're always telling him to speak up."

"Zhongda, did I do something to offend Shi?" Zhang He asked.

"I don't think so," Yi said.

"Don't worry," Chunhua said. "He's not great with new people."

"I'm not exactly a new face," Zhang He pointed out.

"Maybe you'll have to ask him yourself."

Zhang He looked terrified at the thought and Sima Yi laughed. "If he wasn't my son I wouldn't want to approach him either. I think he has a superiority complex or something."

"That would explain a lot," He said. "So, is there a plan for New Year?"

"I figure a banquet in the atrium. It's big enough and we can invite the locals in seeing as we've basically taken over their town."

When it happened the food was as not as grand as some of the other banquets He had attended, but the surroundings made up for that. There were dancers, musicians and some of those from in town could perform tricks too.

"Cai Wenji?"

The woman turned around. "Oh, General Zhang He?"

They had only met a few times in He's earlier years, but they couldn't forget each other's love of poetry. "I have heard a few of yours and your father's poems since we last spoke - beautiful as always."

"Thank you. Do you still compose?" she asked.

"As often as I can. But I keep them hidden away."

"That's a shame; maybe in the future you can share them with the world."

"Perhaps, but they will never be as exquisite as yours," he said.

"You flatter me, general. Will you be around to hear me play later?" She motioned to where other girls were playing sanxians. "I'll be playing a harp."

"I look forward to it. Perhaps I could even dance to your music?"

"I would like that."

"Did I hear that correctly?" Sima Yi popped up.

"You did," Zhang He confirmed.

"Lord Sima." Wenji bowed. "How are you?"

"I am well, thank -"

"Dad!"

"Zhao?!" He yelled as the boy crashed into him, causing him to grab onto Zhang He to remain upright. "You're too old to be doing that. Now, what do you want?"

"Mum wanted me to let you know that's she's gone to put Nanyang and Gan to bed and she said to have a good night. Oh and she winked too."

Sima Yi coughed. "Right, I see. Well, next time don't go charging into me."

"Zhang He can you tell me a story now? How about a New Year one?" Zhao's questions got a tap from Yi.

"Maybe it's time for you to sleep too. Either way, no more stories. Off you go."

Zhao rolled his eyes, muttered "Fine" and walked away.

"You shouldn't be so harsh on him," Zhang He said.

"Where did that lady go? Do you even have any suitable New Year stories?"

"Wenji's gone to set up her harp and I do actually. Last year was spent in Jiangling and I did have New Years before I met you."

"Yes, well, I'm not the only one who wants us to have a New Years which can't be told to Zhao," Sima Yi whispered in his ear; He shivered with each breath.

"I'll make something up for him anyway."

"You're too nice to him."

He shrugged. "I don't think I was old enough to have children when I did, so I'll just borrow yours for a few hours."

"It's not too late…"

Zhang He chuckled. "You must be mad. I like the fact I only see him for short periods at a time."

"Anyway, when am I going to get to see you dance?"

"Don't be impatient now, Zhongda."

Sima Yi was subconsciously entwining his fingers in He's. "But I'm very impatient. You weren't here to dance for me last year. I've been waiting a long time."

"Honestly, it's as if you haven't seen me since then. Oh, she's waving. I guess you're in luck."

Cai Wenji usually played quite sorrowful melodies, but to fit with the atmosphere she played a piece she called 'Freedom'. It wasn't particularly upbeat, but it had a happier tune than most of her compositions. Zhang He took up his position, just one fan this time. There wasn't much of a crowd for him this time, they didn't know about his activities off the battlefield, but a crowd gathered for Wenji who was well known in this part of the land. He didn't mind, Yi was the only audience member he was interested in as he flicked the fan open and bent backwards slowly; he knew it was Yi's favourite move. Yi was watching with the same awe as he always did, noticing some of the new scars that He had obtained since last time he had performed. The signature air flip, the fan open and to his chest as he bowed to Yi this time. The crowd clapped and both he and Wenji bowed a few more times.

"There's a second part for you later," Zhang He whispered to Yi.

"Later? Can I have it now?"

"And leave everyone? That's not being a good host."

Yi rolled his eyes. "Did Cao Cao ever stay until the end of banquets? I remember one where it was us, Zhang Liao and Jia Xu." He took the general's hand and began to lead him away. Zhang He guessed it was more time with his lover, alone.

Behind closed doors Sima Yi began to run his hands across the general's body while he kissed him.

"Did I say you could touch yet?" Zhang He asked. "Wait until I've danced first."

"I apologise, my lord," Sima Yi said sarcastically. "Would you like me clothed?"

"One robe." Zhang He stripped down to a pair of shorts. "It's a shame I don't have any music to move to."

"I'll imagine it." Yi sat on the bed.

Zhang He flipped into position, something he could do now he had a large room. This dance was a lot slower than the one earlier, the general slowly dragging his hands across his body, rotating his hips, his head thrown back. Yi watched, mesmerised, following the hands, then watching his hips come forward, noticing how tight those shorts really were. His eyes ran up He's chest, his neck and then meeting dark eyes. Zhang He then stood on his knees on the edge of the bed, leaning back on one hand for support while the other snaked down his chest…across his abs…into his pants. Zhang He let out a gasp as he touched himself. Sima Yi felt something stirring; this was possibly the hottest thing Zhang He had ever done.

"You can touch now."

Heavens, he didn't want to touch anymore, he just wanted to watch. But he climbed forward and ran hands over abs, just as he always did. Zhang He did the same, noting how different Yi's body was compared to the first time he had touched it.

"Someone's horny tonight," Zhang He said as he felt the hardness between Yi's legs.

"Do you even know how hot that was?" Sima Yi said as he worked on tugging He's shorts off.

"Well, I knew I was sexy." He helped Yi with his task. "I'll save that one for special occasions."

Sima Yi pulled the man on top of him and began to kiss him while he ground his hips against He's thigh. "Maybe I am a little on fire tonight. I just want you to fuck me slowly until I'm pleading."

"I am surprised. I get all of this for a little dance?" Zhang He wondered aloud. "Are you sure you don't want to top? Because I won't have mercy now you've said that."

"I'm sure." Sima Yi fiddled around in the bed side drawer for some oil. "It feels better when you do it."

Zhang He dipped his fingers into the jar. "I hope you're ready." He slid a finger into Yi quickly followed by a second. He paused with his member at Yi's entrance, teasing him until Yi went to say something. Then he slowly pushed in all the way to the hilt, pulled out and thrust in again.

"Junyi, can't you go a little faster?"

"You asked for slowly." He drove in again. "And I like you begging."

"Do that again."

"This?" He thrust with a little more force and Yi let out a small gasp.

"That's the spot."

Zhang He pulled out and Yi could feel He's member brushing against his own. "I didn't hear you ask nicely."

"What? This isn't what I meant, Junyi."

"Well I want to have some fun and seeing you powerless is actually quite alluring."

Yi raised an eyebrow, clearly being the more physically powerful wasn't enough. "If that's what you want, _master._ Please fuck me like a whore."

"You're so naughty tonight. And I'll try my best, but I've never been with a whore." He plunged back into Yi.

"Ah – seriously?"

"Mm-hmm. Too faithful to my wife, too interested in men like you." Zhang He began to pick up the pace and Yi began to move his hips in response. "But I know what a whore sounds like when she's enjoying herself, so why don't you relax, Zhongda?"

"Mm, I am relaxed, Junyi."

"Then moan for me." Zhang He let a hand wander up and down Yi's member.

"Ah…Junyi, it sounds silly when it's forced."

"Then I'll have to make you scream my name." He proceeded to pound into the man beneath him until the strategist was moaning, as he usually did before he released. Then he stopped moving.

"Junyi?" Zhang He pulled out again. "I was just about to -" A finger was placed on his lips.

"Beg."

No way, he needed this now. But Zhang He caught his hand as he tried to finish himself off. He took the sash of Yi's robe which was still on the bed and used it to tie the strategist's hands to one of the posts of the bed.

"Fine," Yi said, exasperated. "Junyi, touch me. Do _something."_

Zhang He let his tongue slide the length of Yi's member once, Yi's hips rising as he did so to make it last longer.

"Keep going, _please_."

He repeated the motion once more. Yi was so close now, if only He would stop teasing him.

"Juuunyi, please fuck me and put me out of my misery."

Zhang He contemplated it, one hand stroking himself.

"Heavens, what do I have to do?" Yi tried to pull his hands from the post.

"Say my name when you come."

"It's a deal, now get to it." Zhang He looked at him. "_Please."_

The general obliged, thrusting as fast as he could. He had needs too…

"Junyi…"

"Ah, louder."

"Junyi!" Yi came in powerful spurts, panting as He kept pounding into him. "Ahh, Junyi that was amazing."

Zhang He's thrusts became slower as he rode out his orgasm. Then he collapsed on top of Yi, meeting the other with a kiss. "I agree - that was the most fun I've had."

Yi rolled the pair so that he was lying on He's chest. "It's not fun when your lover's being mean."

"You know it was only more amazing than all the other times because I made you wait. Isn't there a saying? 'Good things come to those who wait' or something."

Yi sighed. "Happy New Year, Junyi."

**OoooO – Chang'an, 224**

"Don't be gone too long." Zhang He kissed Yi's cheek.

"Don't be too nice to Zhao while I'm gone."

"Hey!"

"And look after your mother and the others," Yi said to Zhao.

Sima Yi climbed into the carriage. He had been summoned back to Luoyang and told to be prepared to stay for a while - not that Cao Pi had been specific with how long 'a while' was. He poked his head out the carriage and waved goodbye to the only two who had come to see him off so early in the morning.

"Now I won't have to go to lessons," Zhao said. "You can teach me more fighting stuff!"

"Do you think your father's gone without finding you a tutor?"

"Aww no. Do I have to? Can't you teach me? Dad said you're quite good at this strategy stuff."

"Oh really? What else does he say?" Zhang He asked.

"So you will teach me?"

"No, but I still want to know what he says about me."

"Yeah, well I want to know why you kiss each other." Oh, the kid was good.

"Let's go and find you a sword."

"REALLY?" Zhao had been waiting a long time for Zhang He to let him use one.

"Yes, and on the way you can let me know what your father says about me."

"Well," said Zhao as they walked towards the weapons room. "Dad always says good things about you. If he's telling us about a battle that you were in he always makes sure to include you. He also said you're a really good poet."

_And how does he know that?_ Zhang He wondered.

"Oh, and he said that you picked out his sword, so will you help me chose mine?"

"Of course, but at the rate you're growing you'll need a bigger one in no time."

Within a week Zhang He had received word from Yi. It was a quickly scribbled note, but sealed with wax which made He wonder about the contents. _Get your cute behind over to Luoyang and be prepared to stay a while,_ was all it said. Zhang He chuckled at his choice of words.

Sima Zhao was sad to see him go. "Can I come with you? I'm sure Dad wouldn't mind."

"Zhao, for the last time: no," Chunhua told the boy. She hurried He off and apologised for Zhao. He had learned that the boy could be a little too much at times, but it still didn't bother him. The ride to Luoyang took all day and he didn't arrive until nightfall.

"Where's Zhao?" Yi asked. Zhang He looked confused. "Excellent, you managed to leave him behind."

Zhang He laughed. "Chunhua was very firm with him. So, why am I here?"

A smirk crossed Yi's face. "Because, my dear Junyi, I am in charge of this here capital."

"Oh? Has Cao Pi gone to attack Wu?"

"Indeed he has, and I, being such a good friend and trusted advisor, get to watch over this city and act as if I were emperor for a while."

"You look so happy about it, but I'd be careful or someone might think you want the throne for yourself."

"Doesn't everyone?" Yi decided that now wasn't the time to fill He in on his long term ambitions. "Anyway, I can't enjoy this opportunity to show Zihuan what a great leader I am without someone to share it with."

Zhang He smiled. "I'll follow you to the end, Zhongda."

**OoooO**

Sima Yi's days were spent around the palace, doing all the usual duties that Cao Pi would do, taking in messages and redirecting them as necessary, looking after domestic affairs and making sure things ran smoothly in the emperor's absence. Meanwhile, Zhang He was left with little to do. He had left all of his new friends in Chang'an, Xiahou Ba was still in Xuchang and Jia Xu had passed away earlier that year. Xu Huang was the only one around, but he still didn't provide much entertainment. It wasn't long before Zhang He was sitting in on Sima Yi's meetings for something to do.

"Zhongda, isn't there anything for me to do?" Zhang He asked as they lay in bed.

"You're bored already? What are you going to do when you get too old to fight?"

"I'm not going to ever be too old to fight." He planned to die in battle, and that would be the day he was considered 'too old'.

"Maybe you could write or paint?"

"Oh." Zhang He suddenly remembered. "Zhao said that you told him I was a good poet. How did you know that?"

Sima Yi ran a hand through his hair. "Well, um… When I moved all of your stuff to Chang'an I kind of…read some of your poems."

"And you liked them?"

"They were very beautiful, especially the ones about Lady Zhen. Then there were the ones about me…" Zhang He waited for him to continue. "I didn't realise how much you loved me at first. And I'm sorry for being so confusing."

"I think you read a few more than you're letting on."

Sima Yi blushed. "I'm sorry, but the recent ones were so wonderful that I just kept reading further back…"

Zhang He kissed him. "I don't mind. I guess it saves me reading them to you. But I can't sit there and write poetry all day. Can't you give me some troops to train or something?"

"I guess I can try and sort something out. Now, if I remember correctly you wrote a poem about me and you called it 'white ecstasy' or something."

"A fabulous memory as always, Zhongda."

"One doesn't forget a poem like that, so shall we bring it to life?" he asked as his hands found the general's body.

**OoooO**

"Z-Zhongda, we really shouldn't."

Sima Yi had the general sitting in his lap. "Why not?"

"Because this is the Emperor's throne…it's wrong."

"Well, I don't think it is." Sima Yi had a hand beneath He's robes. "It's just a chair after all… A very big, expensive chair."

"Ah – but anyone could come in," Zhang He protested.

"The doors are locked for the night." Yi moved He so that the general was straddling him.

"It still doesn't feel right, Zhongda. Mmm…We could just go to your room."

"Or we could just stay here and you can pretend I'm the emperor for a while." Sima Yi loosened the sash that held his robes closed.

"Just this once." Zhang He let his hand snake through the layers of Yi's formal wear.

_Of course._ Yi slipped his fingers in his mouth before poking around for He's entrance. Zhang He spread his legs a little wider to accommodate Yi and to make it easier on him; oil made it so much smoother. The strategist was slouched against the throne so that he could move his hips better. Zhang He held onto his shoulders as he began to rock his hips back and forth.

"This is why we should have gone back to your room," Zhang He said. "I think this is the most awkward sex we've had."

"Shh, Junyi, just enjoy it. And don't challenge me to find a more awkward place."

"We could just get off the throne."

Yi ignored him and readjusted his grip on He's arse, thrusting a little harder.

"Ahh, Zhongda, there."

The strategist smiled, that was always what he was waiting to hear. He continued to move in the same way and quickly Zhang He forgot about where they were, closing his eyes as Yi hit his sweet spot repeatedly.

"Junyi, kiss me."

Zhang He obeyed, letting out a gasp each time their lips broke contact. All he wanted right now was the man in front of him, over and over again; he had reached the point where the pleasure was blinding him, making him want more than he could have. Could they stay like this forever? He let his head rest on Yi's shoulder and Yi felt warm fluid on his stomach as Zhang He panted. Yi wasn't far behind, cum covering his member as he pulled out of the general.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?"

Zhang He rolled his eyes; hopefully the Jade Emperor wouldn't frown upon what they had done…


	5. The Northern Expeditions

**5. Caught By a Butterfly: The Northern Expeditions**

**Luoyang, 225**

They had been in the capital for almost a year. In that time Zhang He had trained up a small group of locals to an advanced level, wrote more poems that he had shared with Yi and lived a life of bliss with lover. He had learned what it was like to live as someone not devoted to war, but someone devoted to love. It was a peaceful existence, but he missed it everyday, still popping into Yi's meetings to hear the latest developments across the country, wondering when the time to attack Shu would come…

"Junyi, come on, Zihuan will be here any moment." They sat wrapped in each other on the steps before the throne.

"I'm making the most of these last moments then." Zhang He cupped the strategist's face and kissed him. "I'd stay like this, with you, forever."

"Zhongda?"

The strategist pushed the general off him immediately, stood up and bowed. "My lord." Zhang He did the same.

Cao Pi's eyes flicked between the two of them. Zhang He looked at Yi who stood as if Cao Pi had not just witnessed their little exchange. "I have heard many good things," Cao Pi said. "If you would just fill me in on some details. Zhang He, you are excused."

The general hurried from the room, more embarrassed for Yi. Some time passed before Yi emerged from the room.

"Well?" He asked.

"The battle didn't go to plan," Yi said. "No actual fighting occurred. I'll be here for another week or two and that was that really."

"He didn't mention…?"

"Whatever he saw? No, although he's bound to bring it up another time."

**OoooO**

"ZHANG HE!"

The general didn't recognise the voice and turned to see a familiar face.

"What? Is there something on my face?"

"No, no," He assured him. "You've changed a lot since I last saw you." It had only been a year, but the boy had shot up quite a bit, he couldn't be too far off Yi's height now, and his voice was deeper. Yet his face still retained a look of childhood innocence. He wasn't a boy anymore, he was a young man.

"Mum keeps saying I'm growing up too fast. Hey, maybe I'll be taller than you one day!"

"Zhao?" Yi was also slightly taken aback as he climbed out of the carriage.

"Hey, Dad!"

"Where are the others?"

"They're eating, but I said I'd look out for you two. Anyway, Deng Ai let me train with him while you were away – I'm really good with a sword now. Oh, and Shi even joined in too! I think he wants to impress his wife."

"Wife?" Zhang He asked.

Zhao laughed. "That's what I said. I think it'll be funny to see him married. And now that Dad's back it won't be long."

"Hopefully within the next week," Yi said. "And I expect your best behaviour, Zhao. Your brother is more than ready to be wed."

"And who's the _lucky_ lady?" He asked.

Yi rolled his eyes. "I know I can't force him to like you, but you two are actually quite alike. Maybe I should give him one of your poems to read." Zhang He looked a little horrified. "But he'll marry Xiahou Shang's daughter."

"A nice choice. And I think I'll just hang out with Zhao on the day and keep him out of trouble."

"I won't be any trouble."

"Just don't eat too many meat buns," Yi joked.

**OoooO**

Everything was a rush in the next week with wedding preparations and He was left with Zhao while the rest of the Sima clan rushed around. Their efforts were worth it and the wedding went smoothly, Yi finally taking some time to relax during the after party. Then life returned to the peaceful kind of normal He had come to expect; back to training with Deng Ai and the troops for the greater part of the day. He had been expecting Shi to turn up as Zhao had said he would, but it appeared that he was actually spending time with his wife instead.

"I think his wife has softened him," Zhao said. "He isn't as mean to me anymore."

Well, that was great, but his own exchanges with Shi were still minimal, things such as 'could you pass the wine?' and not much else. He even began to write a few poems about the young man.

"I thought you stopped describing me as an icy person years ago," Yi said as he looked over He's shoulder.

The general jumped and hastily tried to hide his poem. "It's, um…not about you."

"That's different… Who is it then?"

"I'll let you figure it out."

Sima Yi thought for a few minutes. "Is it Shi?"

"You're too good."

Yi shrugged. "I'll admit I saw the word 'father' as well. He's a good kid; I don't think he's as heartless as I am sometimes."

"He's still young."

"I think I'll make you two talk."

"Really? How do you plan to do that?"

Sima Yi's plan was not grand and it was one that would take time, after all you could not just force two people to get along.

"General Zhang?" Sima Shi stood some feet away, hands behind his back.

"Yes?" Zhang He stopped, claws in the air.

"Sima Yi requests that you follow me."

Zhang He began to follow him, but Shi turned and said, "You won't be needing those," motioning to the claws.

"I'm quite aware, but I strive to preserve my weapons," he said, mimicking Shi's formal manner. "Perhaps you wouldn't mind waiting while I put them away? Alternatively, feel free to follow."

The teen frowned and followed, but not too closely, taking a peek inside the weapon storehouse when they arrived.

"So, where are we off to?" He asked.

"This way." Shi began to walk once more with a brisk pace.

This is the opportunity Yi had promised him and he had to make use of it as best he could. "You know that you can speak informally if you wish."

"Do you have a problem with the way I speak?" Shi asked, still facing forward.

This kid was going to be a tough one to crack. "Of course not. Perhaps you could tell me where we are going?"

"At the rear end of the palace is the Literature room, he wishes me to escort you there."

"Oh? And what does he need me for?"

"That is between you and him." Shi's tone was a little sour. Why had father chosen him for such a menial task? Shouldn't he have sent a servant? Perhaps Zhao? Zhao would have loved this opportunity to spend time with this man.

"I'm sure I could find the room myself," Zhang He said, hoping that Shi wouldn't take him up on his offer.

"That's what I told father, but he said that we should both go there. It is meaningless for me to leave you now."

They passed through the courtyard in silence. Shi kept the pace up while He tried to slow it so they had more time to attempt a conversation.

"Your father said that you like a bit of poetry from time to time."

"Did he? What else has he told you about me?"

This wasn't quite going as expected. "Just that you're a good kid."

"Really? Because he's always telling us how wonderful you are," Shi said spitefully. "'_Zhang He's such an elegant fighter, Shi, you should train with him. Why don't you talk to him and discuss The Art of War?'_ I'm sure he's said much more about me."

"No, he hasn't," He said firmly. "And why wouldn't you take up any of those suggestions? I can't understand what I've done to offend you."

"You wouldn't understand," Shi said, stopping for the first time. "Why would I want to spend time with the person who pulled my family apart?" He turned to look at the general, waiting for an answer.

"_I_ pulled your family apart?"

"Did you think I wouldn't notice? I'm not as blind as Zhao. I watched as Father began to hang around with you, at first it was just at banquets, but then he moved out of Luoyang just after we moved there to go back to Xuchang. I wondered why and at first I didn't know. Why would he leave his wife and children? Even more questionable is why would he leave his pregnant concubine? I didn't realise until you turned up here. At first I thought that you were just another general."

"You still didn't talk to me," Zhang He pointed out.

"No, I'll admit to being a little shy, but it became clear quite quickly _who _you were. You were the reason that father left us. A little hug here, a kiss there. And then you both disappear to Luoyang for a year. Another year without him."

"Shi, I'm sorry -"

"_No._ You're not. You don't understand what it's like to have a family, Master Guo Huai could tell me that much."

Zhang He looked at him, had he really hurt the boy so much? He had always been thinking about how his actions would affect Chunhua, but not her children. _I'm as selfish as ever. _He was meant to find someone to love and live in bliss with them forever…maybe Yi was not the one.

Sima Shi had begun to walk again and He continued to follow. When they reached the room he found Yi sitting with Zhao, a few scrolls already open, some still waiting to be read. Yi offered both a seat.

"I'm sorry, Zhongda, I have to train with Xiahou Ba." He heard a disappointed noise from Zhao as he left and realised that he had said he would be training with someone in another city…

Sima Yi shot Shi a look and Shi shrugged it off. "What happened?" The plan had been for them to talk and then to share some opinions on the strategies of battles past; Zhang He was not supposed to refuse the offer.

"We talked," Shi said. "You planned this, didn't you?"

Yi didn't answer; he just got up and rushed after the general.

"Does this mean the lesson's cancelled?" Zhao asked.

"I suppose." Shi wandered out too. _Always running after him, father._ A perfect example of why Zhang He was the root of all his family's problems.

**ooo**

"Junyi? Can I come in?"

"Sure."

The general was lying on his bed, just gazing at the ceiling, thinking.

"How did it go?" A stupid question really.

"Have you ever talked to him about us?"

"No. It's not for him to know."

Zhang He patted the bed and Yi took a seat. "You should have. He blames me for 'breaking' your family – his words." Then everything came tumbling out; what Shi had said, how He felt bad for not considering Shi's feelings, how he thought he should go back to Xuchang.

"He never mentioned this to me…" It made him feel bad as a father that he couldn't tell how Shi had felt…that Shi hadn't come to him with his troubles.

"So with your permission I would like to leave Chang'an for a while."

"No, you can't leave. I need you here ready to defend against Shu at a moment's notice," Yi said before leaning down to kiss him. "And I _want_ you here."

"Someone else doesn't…"

"Yes, but he's growing up and will soon have his own family to look after. Besides, I know another person who wants you here and he'd be more disappointed if you left than if I did." Zhang He still looked down. "Junyi, I'll have none of this moping. It's not your fault – it's mine. _I_ chose to leave the boys, yes because I love you, but that's not your fault either. Now promise you won't go anywhere while I talk to Shi? Or I'll have to get Zhao to watch you."

"I'll be here." It always melted him when Yi said that 'I love you' because he didn't say it often enough.

**OoooO – Luoyang, June 226**

Cao Pi was gripping Sima Yi's hand.

"Look after my son, Zhongda." He coughed. "Make sure…keep him safe."

The emperor's grip loosened and Yi knew that he was gone.

It was all so perfect. No one could have predicted that Pi would die so young, but that just helped Sima Yi even more. Now they would have Cao Rui as emperor, still young, malleable. Yi would have so much more influence now…

"He's gone," Yi announced to the others around, trying to sound mournful. This was better than when Cao Cao passed; this time he had been handed the next emperor. The following months were a lot smoother than when Cao Pi had ascended the throne, mostly because there was no abdication and new dynasty to set up, but it still meant time away from Chang'an where he had left everyone, including Zhang He.

The emperor turned out to be a little more competent than Yi would have liked and he found himself back in Chang'an not long after New Year. There he found Zhao had undergone quite a physical transformation.

"Junyi, what have you done with my boy?"

"Nothing, he just stopped talking so much and started to _do._"

"That still doesn't explain why he's taller than me." No father ever looked forward to the day their child surpassed them in height.

"Aw, you'll get used to it, Dad," Zhao said. "I'm trying to get as tall as Zhang He."

"Please don't."

Zhao and He laughed.

At first glance Shi seemed the same. He still wasn't on great terms with the general and they had given up trying as he probably never would. But there was a softer side to him now; it seemed that having a daughter to care for had changed him, but only slightly.

Yi watched as the other three Sima children played in the gardens one afternoon. They were all still under the age of ten and growing faster than Yi could keep up… These were the children that he had paid the least attention to over the past few years. How did they feel? They probably didn't know to expect better.

"It's unlike you to watch your children play," He commented.

"And even less like you to walk down this corridor. But I wanted to talk to you so I'm glad you're here."

"Hmm?"

"I've been thinking for a while," Yi began. "When Zihuan was on his deathbed he told me to look after Cao Rui. He said that too many of his children died young, one just the year before he did. And I was thinking that I was lucky, my children are still alive, and so are most of my brothers. But they're still young." He cast a glance at Liang who had just fallen over only to get up and continue running from his sister. "I want to have another child."

"With Chunhua?"

"She'll probably say she's too old, but Fu won't. I just wanted to run it by you in case…"

"What? You expected me to not be okay with it?"

Yi shifted his position. "Well last time…"

"Last time I turned up to see you with an unknown woman who I thought I'd lost you to. I've never had any problem with you spending time with your wives."

Sima Yi raised his eyebrows as if to say 'really?'

"I meant after you declared your love for me. Of course I was trying to win your heart up to that point and wives weren't helping."

"Well, I'm glad I have your approval, because obviously it'll mean some nights alone for you."

Zhang He raised an eyebrow. "Since when did you need my 'approval' for anything, _my lord_?"

"Since I decided to dedicate myself to you," Yi replied.

The general bit his lip; he was speechless. "Really, Zhongda?"

"Yes, the last time I slept with a woman was Fu all those years ago and -"

Zhang He pounced on the strategist, hugging him tightly.

"Okay, seriously, Junyi, did you think I was sleeping around when you weren't there?"

"I didn't think you'd do it," Zhang He said. "But you can be quite needy, and six months in the capital is a long time without me."

"Ahem, yes. I can assure you that Cao Rui was not handing out concubines."

"Well, I think you've earned a special dance."

Yi couldn't help but smile at the thought.

**OoooO – Chang'an, 227**

Whispers began to spread. Things were happening within Shu, armies were being assembled and trained, supplies were being sent from south to north. But Zhuge Liang was quiet about it, letting it slip under the radar. Then there were sudden reports of Meng Da defecting to Shu. Sima Yi wasted no time.

"Zhang He, Zhao, you will come with me," Yi said.

"Awesome!" Zhao punched the air.

"Deng Ai, Guo Huai, be on alert, Zhuge Liang is likely to take this opportunity to attack either here or one of our other northern strongholds."

They rode immediately, taking mainly cavalry units for speed.

"What about the court's approval?" Zhang He asked.

"I practically am the court," Yi said with a smirk. "Besides it is necessary to silence such a traitor, I wouldn't be denied."

"And Zhao?"

"You've trained him well; this is his chance to get some first hand experience. Look out for him."

They would stop over night and rest before taking on Meng Da and whatever force he had managed to muster up. A couple of tents were put up for those not up for spending the night outside in the cool air; winter would soon arrive.

"I forgot about this minimal dressing," Sima Yi said, noting He's lack of suitable clothing. The general had taken to keeping his chest covered when walking around the palaces which were full of officials and other high ranking people.

"Do you like it?" Zhang He straddled Yi who sat on the floor.

"Very much." Yi managed to slip a hand beneath the tight material of the cropped top. "Didn't you wear this the first time you danced for me?"

"I think so." He leaned in to kiss him.

"Dad?"

Yi quickly retracted his hand and looked over his shoulder. "Son?"

"I didn't mean to…err, a scout's arrived with details of Meng Da's position and stuff, so…"

Zhang He climbed off the man and Yi told Zhao to send the scout in.

**OoooO**

Meng Da sent out a force to meet them when they arrived for the first round. The sky was cloudless, the sun shining and Zhang He was ready to battle once again. It had been far too long. They stood waiting…then Sima Yi gave the order to charge and they surged forward as one. Zhang He danced among the enemy, the last few years of training finally coming in useful. Step out of the way of a spear, sweep a leg beneath the enemy's feet… He was carefree seeing as Yi had insisted that Zhao stay behind for this part. Bring claws down on a pike to split it in half, spare the frightened man who runs as fast as his legs will carry him. Then through the crowd he sees him: Sima Yi, sword clashing against another. Zhang He runs, let's his claws slice across the man's back, stopping the deadlock, then impales the soldier for a moment.

"Zhongda, why are you on the field?"

Yi just stood there, fascinated. "That was really cool." He'd never actually seen the general in action up close. "JUNYI!" It was as if he saw it in slow motion. A soldier armed with a sword ran towards them, raising his sword. Zhang He turned to see the threat; Yi pulled him by his arm. The blade was swung towards the general… A gasp of pain as metal penetrated flesh. Then things happened very quickly – Zhang He retaliated, a kick to the stomach that knocked the soldier down, then claws thrust through the soft abdomen. Zhang He turned and began to run with the strategist, back towards their camp.

"Junyi, you're hurt." Yi's voice was full of concern.

"Just keep going." Zhang He turned to take on a few soldiers who had realised just who was on the field. "Go! Now!" One of the soldiers took a swipe at him with a spear.

"But -"

"The longer you hang around the less focussed I am." He brought his claws up to defend himself. Then he heard the sound of Yi fleeing. "So, gentlemen, shall we dance?"

**OoooO**

Zhang He rode back victorious, troops in tow. Yi had been waiting, relieved to see He still alive - not that he had doubted the general…but there were quite a few men after them.

Yi restrained himself and waited for the soldiers to be settled before he dragged He into his tent. "Heavens, Junyi!" A sash had been tied around his arm to stop the bleeding and it now carried a large bloodstain. Yi ordered for some water to be fetched and helped the general out of his armour.

"Zhongda, I'm fine."

"Those wounds do not look fine, Junyi." Yi had him sit on the floor and then a guard arrived with the water. Carefully he untied the sash and saw the gash on He's arm; it was at least 4 inches long, but luckily not too deep. The bleeding had pretty much stopped, but the skin around was stained red. Yi took a cloth, dipped it in the water and began to clean the wound being as delicate as he would with a newborn.

"You can press a little harder, Zhongda, it'll take all night otherwise."

"Doesn't it hurt?"

"I'm used to a little pain, but I'll do it if you'd prefer."

"No, you're injured and it's my job to look after you." Yi dabbed at the wound with a little more pressure.

"If you say so, doctor Zhongda."

Both were silent as Yi continued, Zhang He watching, feeling Yi's soft grip on his arm, his face concerned and concentrating. Then carefully wrapping a fresh make-shift bandage around He's arm. Again he dipped the cloth in the water and began to dab at the wound on He's abdomen.

"How did you get this?"

"I didn't realise how close one of the spears was," He said. "It's nothing." Not as deep as the one on his arm, but of the same length, perhaps a little longer.

"Maybe it'll teach you to wear full armour."

Zhang He rolled his eyes. "No one's been able to teach me that for years, so don't think you'll be able to either. I should be the one telling you not to go out on the field."

"I was handling myself just fine."

"You could have been killed. Then what? The commanders aren't meant to be on the frontline like that."

"You could have been killed too."

Zhang He sighed. "I'm a general, Zhongda, every general lives to fight and die on the field. If they don't then they were lucky not to, but most will continue to fight until they do."

"Is that what you want?" Yi asked quietly.

"Yes, very much."

Yi stopped dabbing at the wound and looked up at the general. "I don't want you to die."

"I know, but we must all die one day, and for me that'll be on the field. But _you_ on the other hand should die of old age, not trying to fight."

"I thought I'd fare well seeing as you trained me."

"That's cute, but you've slacked off recently," He said. "And you don't have my elegance yet."

"And I never will. I think I'll stick to books and strategies."

"Zhao can be the fighter of the family." He was surprised that the boy hadn't come running in to complain about being left behind today.

"Any other wounds I should know about?" Yi asked, done with the two obvious ones.

"No." He placed a hand on the side of Yi's face. "Thank you for doing that." He leaned in to kiss Yi. "There's a lake nearby, right?"

"The closest 'lake' is more like a pond, there's a bigger one a bit further out. Do you want me to come with you?"

"Stay here, I won't be long."

Yi was right; it wasn't much of a lake. It was about the size of his room in Xuchang and the water only came up to his chest at its deepest point. But that didn't matter much. He slipped into the water and let it wash away the day. Caught twice in one fight…maybe he was getting a little old to be in the midst of the frontline. _What am I saying?_ That's where he wanted to be right? But maybe he'd rather just sit back with Yi and live a little longer.

When he returned to the tent Zhao was there, pestering his father as predicted.

"Zhang He, don't you think that Dad should let me go out at least once – you'll make sure I live, right?"

Sima Yi didn't give him a chance to speak. "Absolutely not. Look at what happened today when he was protecting me for a few minutes." Yi motioned to the wounds on full show, He being shirtless. "I'm not having my best general getting torn to shreds just to keep you alive."

"Okay, I understand," Zhao said.

"And – what?"

"I said, Dad, that I understand," Zhao repeated himself. "I'll just leave you two alone now, see you tomorrow, Dad. Bye, He." He smiled at the general as he left the tent.

"Did you just hear that?" Yi asked.

"With my own ears," He confirmed. "Seems he's growing up."

"Yes…that's a first."

"Would you help me with this?" He held up the sash he'd taken off his arm.

Yi patted the floor next to him. "I'm sorry about this," he said as he wrapped the sash around. "It's my fault."

"It's my job to protect you and I should have paid more attention, so don't blame yourself."

"Well, let me make it up to you anyway." Yi kissed his shoulder, moving his mouth across He's collarbone, neck and to his mouth. His hand made its way down the general's body, still cool from his bath. Zhang He flinched as Yi brushed his wound. "Sorry," Yi muttered as they broke their kiss. Then he continued, loosening He's waist sash and taking hold of his member, beginning to slowly stroke the general. He began to feel his cock stir under Yi's touch and laid back, tugging at the trousers which restrained him. Yi helped, pulling them off completely and didn't return his attention to He until he was suitably naked too. He lay back down next to the general and they both touched the other with gentle strokes. Yi watched He's face as he became more aroused, noticed how his hair framed his face the same way it always had.

"Your hair's dry," Yi noted.

"Takes too long to dry. Although you could have commented on something better."

"I was just noticing how beautiful your hair is."

"Better." Zhang He smiled, before moving so that his he was lying in front of Yi's member.

"I was supposed to do something for you," Yi said.

"And you will." He wiggled his hips closer to Yi's face. "It's a win-win position." He pulled Yi's member to his lips.

"I guess it keeps us relatively quiet," Yi said as he mirrored He. Typical of him to be thinking about what the rest of the world though. Yi matched He's pace which was quite slow, he was clearly tired from the battle. But then He took Yi in as far as he could which earned a moan muffled by the dick in his mouth.

"Do that again, Junyi."

Zhang He repeated the action a few more times, Yi bucking his hips to see how much deeper he could get.

"Zhongda, why did you stop?"

Yi engulfed He once more, trying not to get sidetracked by how good He was making him feel. Despite how distracting he knew it was for his lover, He continued to deep throat Yi until the strategist released, most of it going straight down He's throat. The general continued to slide his tongue across his member until he was sure that Yi was finished. Yi replaced his mouth with his hand as he gasped for breath.

"Zhongda, you look so cute when you're flushed."

"Haven't you seen me like this enough times?"

"Yes, but you look extra cute today…or maybe it's just this angle." Zhang He sat up.

"Junyi, I'm not finished with you."

"I know." He widened his legs and motioned for Yi to nestle between them. "But I prefer this position more." He leant back on his hands and Yi began to slide his tongue up and down He's cock. The general brought a hand up and began to flick his tender nipples. He pushed his chest forward and closed his eyes as pleasure overcame him, feeling his cock pulsate with each load. Then he let himself fall back on the furs.

"That was fun," Yi said as he crawled up beside He.

"Mm-hmm."

"Tired?" Yi asked as He gave a small yawn. "Who's the cute one now?"

He snuggled up to Yi's chest. "It's been a long day and you're warm. I think I'll just close my eyes."

The general drifted off quickly and Yi put a hand on his chest, just feeling his ribcage rise and fall, it was quite relaxing.

**OoooO – Xincheng, Early 228**

Zhang He was disappointed that he didn't get to stay for the duration of the fight at Xincheng. Reports of revolt in Tianshui soon reached them and with Xu Huang having recently passed away there was only one man for the job.

"Cao Rui has moved in to defend Chang'an," Yi said as he read the report. "Deng Ai is staying to defend and Guo Huai's been sent out to Tianshui. He needs back up, so you'll have to go. I'm sure we can take Meng Da – he can't have many men left to throw at us."

"Don't take too long, Zhongda." Zhang He climbed onto his horse.

"I'll meet you up there if I can." Sima Yi crossed him arms as He checked he had everything. "No goodbye kiss?"

Zhang He bent down, still on the horse and caught Yi's lips briefly before tumbling off his horse, Yi just about managing to break his fall. The general got to his feet and brushed his clothes of dirt. "Ahem, that wasn't supposed to happen." He gave Yi a proper kiss. "I'll see you soon, Zhongda."

"Bye, Junyi." He waved the general off.

Zhang He was to take his force and attack from the north, via Jieting, as Zhuge Liang was probably expecting an attack from the south from Sima Yi. But Zhuge Liang was as smart as people said him to be and he had a force ready to intercept the general in the form of Ma Su and Wang Ping. Unfortunately for Shu, Ma Su was not as wise as Zhuge Liang.

"He's a fool," Zhang He said when a report came of Ma Su taking the high ground. "We'll cut off his water supply and soon he'll no longer be a problem."

They surrounded the mountain that Ma Su was on and within a week it was clear that things were not going well in the Shu camp. It wasn't long before the fight began. Wang Ping came to attempt a rescue, but Zhang He's troops demolished their small force quite easily. Ma Su fled, leaving his own forces in disarray as Zhang He moved in to take the mountain.

"Leaving so soon?"

Zhang He spun around to see Yi dismounting his horse. "Zhongda! You made it."

"Just about it seems. Looks like you've done a good job here."

"I always do a good job," He said. "But Tianshui is still in uproar…"

Yi nodded. "I'll hold the area here while you pacify Tianshui. Don't be long."

Zhang He hugged him. "I won't be. You are okay, right? You didn't do anything stupid while I was gone?"

"Do I look like I did anything I couldn't handle?"

The general shrugged. "Robes hide a lot of things…"

"ZHANG HE!" Sima Zhao rode up beside the two. "Oh, are you leaving? Can I help?"

"No, we're staying here," Yi said.

"Damn. You know, Dad wouldn't let me fight at all in Xincheng," Zhao said to He. "I said what was the point of all that training and -"

"Zhao, Zhang He needs to be going now." Zhao closed his mouth and nodded. "Bye, Junyi."

As Zhang He turned to get on his horse, Zhao asked, "Did you two have a fight?"

"What? Why would you think that?" Yi asked.

"Because you didn't kiss him goodbye."

Yi didn't think that Zhao had actually been paying attention to his relationship with He, but clearly he had been quietly, and accepting it. "Junyi."

"Yes?" He was just about to get on his horse, but Yi strode forward, hooked a hand around his waist and pulled him into a kiss, keeping contact for longer than usual. "Well, what has gotten into you, Zhongda?"

"That one." Yi turned his head to look at Zhao and the teenager gave them a thumbs up.

**OoooO**

When Zhang He's force arrived in Tianshui they found that Zhuge Liang had already retreated. It worked in his favour and He was able to return the city to Wei's control in a matter of days.

"Boji! Didn't you fancy taking on Zhuge Liang?" Zhang He asked when he spotted Guo Huai in the town.

"I would have loved to," Huai said, although not very convincingly. "But he had quite a large force and I had a comparatively small one."

"Well, it could have been a lot of fun. But a wise decision, we can't afford to lose any more generals."

"Will you be returning to Chang'an with me?"

"If Sima Yi decides to, then yes."

The trio would return to Chang'an and tell the emperor of their triumphs. They would be feasted and given time to rest. Sima Yi would meet his latest son, Zhou and find that he already had a second grandchild on the way. Cao Rui returned to Luoyang, but everyone was still on high alert, waiting to hear of Shu's next move. They all knew that Zhuge Liang would not give up so easily, but the man was cunning and willing to wait.

"Why do you like Dad so much?"

New Year had come round once again and Zhao was pestering Zhang He as usual. The general felt a little sorry for him; he didn't have many people his own age to be with apart from his brother who was no joy. He didn't mind, at least he wasn't running round after a child anymore.

"Because, you know," Zhao continued, "He's so grumpy and uptight. And you're not like that, you're fun and carefree."

"He's not always like that; you just see that because he's your father." Zhang He took a sip of wine. "But what's not to like – he's intelligent, attractive -"

Zhao made a noise. "Dad's _attractive_?"

"I'm sure your mother thinks so too."

"I think she was told to marry him."

Zhang He refrained from describing how beautiful Yi's body was. "Just take my word for it. I've seen a lot of men in my time and your father is one of the better looking ones." He shuddered at the memories of some of those he'd seen in the army. "Why so interested anyway?"

"It was just something I'd never asked. When I was younger I didn't understand, but as I grew up I realised that it was love I was seeing."

Zhang He ruffled Zhao's hair. "It seems you have grown more than I realised. Sometimes I still see the small child I met one day in Xuchang."

"Hey!"

"You've still got a cute face just like back then."

Zhao hid his face in his hands. "You're being mean."

"Zhang He's being mean to you? That's a first." Yi laughed as he sat down.

"He said I have a baby face."

"And I make him right."

"Argh, Dad! You're supposed to be on my side."

"I can't be on your side if you're wrong. Haven't I taught you anything?"

Zhao let out an exasperated gasp. "So, Dad, how did you get He to like you?"

"What? I didn't do anything… Why are you asking?" Yi was confused.

"I'm just making conversation," Zhao said.

"Maybe it's time for a change of subject," Yi suggested.

"But I like hearing stories about the both of you and what a better way to hear some than ask?"

Yi raised an eyebrow. "But what you're asking for is not a war story, it's a love story. Maybe you should talk to Shi."

They all quickly glanced across the banquet hall to where Shi sharing a plate of food with his wife, occasionally hand feeding her pieces.

"No thanks," Zhao said with a look of disgust. "I'm sure your tales aren't as soppy."

"Is that a challenge?" Yi asked. "Well." He cuddled up to the general and tried to look cute. "Sometimes Junyi and I lie in bed _all_ morning just telling each other how much we love each other. And then we give each other little kisses." Yi kissed He on the cheek. "And -"

"Enough, Dad. At least make it sound real."

"I think we did that a few times…" Zhang He thought about it and realised that there was more to the story.

"Ahem, yes, you should stop asking questions and I should go to bed," Yi said.

"Aw, Dad, come on, it's only early."

"I've yet to dance," Zhang He reminded him. Yi stopped all attempts to get up immediately.

**OoooO – Early 229**

A few weeks later they got the message that Shu was putting up a real fight at Chencang. Zhuge Liang was being relentless with siege towers and engines. Chencang itself was a fortress with an outer wall and two inner walls, but Hao Zhao only had 1000 troops and that could be a problem if Zhuge Liang managed to break through. Zhang He was chosen to lead the reinforcements.

"He'll retreat before I get there," He told Yi.

"Even better, then we won't lose any troops."

Zhang He marched for several days when he heard news that Liang had retreated out of Chencang. So he changed direction, to Nanzheng where he tried to intercept the Shu strategist, but it was no use. He couldn't catch up with the Shu army before they reached their own territory.

"Sir, couldn't we just attack?" one of the soldiers asked over dinner one night.

"No, we may have many troops with us, but it's not enough to just charge into Shu territory."

"How about a fire attack?" another suggested.

"I admire your enthusiasm," He said. "But we will not be risking our lives this time. Zhuge Liang is too crafty for us."

"But he doesn't expect a fire attack."

"No, but he knows there is a possibility of us pursuing him and he will have planned for it."

They would have to return to Chang'an and await Zhuge Liang's next move.

**OoooO – Early 230**

Almost a year passed before the pair was called on again. Guo Huai lost Wudu and Yinping, but still Cao Rui did not give permission for them to reinforce him or retake the commanderies. No, it seemed that Rui had ideas of his own – to use Sima Yi, Zhang He and Cao Zhen to capture Hanzhong. It had been over 10 years since Wei had made a serious attempt to take Hanzhong and back then it wasn't under Shu's control.

"Woah!" The hooves of Sima Yi's horse hit wet mud, sinking in slightly. Yi pulled on the reigns and pulled back a few feet.

"What's wrong?" Zhang He pulled up beside the strategist.

"I don't think we'll be going much further like this." They were about to travel through a valley with narrow paths; they had to do this quickly or risk being ambushed.

Zhang He dismounted and walked a few steps in the mud. "I guess you're right. At least we can set up and not be short of water," he said as he washed the mud from his shoes in a nearby puddle.

"On that hill then." Yi pointed to a more mountainous hill and moved to begin leading the men. The first drop of rain fell…

**ooo**

"This is just ridiculous!" Sima Yi complained as he walked back into his tent. "How can it just rain for ten days straight?!"

"I'm sure it's holding up the enemy just as much as it hinders us." Zhang He popped a slice of orange in his mouth.

"It's still frustrating."

"Then maybe we should just go back to Chang'an."

"No!" Not after all he'd worked for, he couldn't just give up.

Zhang He shrugged. "Then wait patiently, Zhongda. How about a massage?"

Sima Yi sighed, "Fine."

"I want you to stop stressing." Zhang He propped himself up on his knees and got Yi to slide his robe down to his waist. "You won't enjoy it as much if your mind isn't at peace."

"My mind's never at peace."

He raised an eyebrow, but Yi couldn't see it. Then he pressed his thumbs between Yi's shoulder blades and began to rub in circles, then ends of Yi's hair brushing his hands. Yi let his head fall forward as the general caressed his neck, then let himself be pushed down and his robe untied completely so that he was lying flat on his stomach. Hands ran across his back, at first the touch was light, making him shiver from the minimal contact, but then He pushed harder, relaxing the muscles he came across. From the base of his spine and back up to his neck, nothing was left untouched. Then back to the feather light touches as He's hands journeyed to his sides. Not as hard this time, the area was a lot softer than his back. Gently he was flipped over. Now fingers danced across his chest and down to his stomach, going in a full circular motion around his navel. Then He brought his hands close and used the tips of his fingers to gently press against Yi's abs.

"Are you relaxed now?" He asked as he continued to delicately trace Yi's muscles.

"My body definitely is."

Zhang He let a hand slip beneath the silk trousers that Yi wore, using a thumb and forefinger to further stimulate Yi's already half-hard member. "So you _did_ enjoy it."

"Your hands running across me like that? How could I not?"

"Good, because massages are hands only." He began to pump with his whole hand in long strokes. His other hand made its way up and down Yi's inner thighs delicately, then stopping at the top to fondle the jewels between Yi's legs. The sound of Yi's shallow breathing filled the tent. He had tried to keep as still as possible, letting He 'massage' him but now he allowed his back to arch slightly.

"A little faster, Junyi." His body ached for release now and Zhang He's gentle touches were frustrating.

Of course the customer was always right, so He obliged him and soon had Yi grunting and rolling his hips in time with his hand. Yi threw his head back on the cushion and let out a gasp of relief as he got the release he longed for.

"Junyi -"

Zhang He put a finger to his lips. "Just close your eyes and relax."

"But it's the middle of the day, I need to -"

He used his waist sash to cover Yi's eyes. "You need to relax, just for ten minutes or so."

**OoooO**

It continued to rain everyday. Some days it was light and Yi hoped that they would finally be able to move on, but then the next day it was rain heavily and the surrounding area would become water logged again, stopping them from advancing. The strategist sat at the edge of their camp, overlooking the valley, rain soaking him through. This had been his chance to gain a little more fame and influence, but it had failed. If he had managed to secure Hanzhong he would go down in history for the accomplishment. _No._ Perhaps it was not meant to be. Maybe the heavens had stopped him so that he didn't make a fool of himself in Hanzhong, so that Zhuge Liang didn't outsmart him.

"Zhongda? What are you doing out here in the rain?"

"Thinking."

"Don't you think it would be wiser to think under shelter?" Zhang He asked. "You'll end up with a cold out here."

"I'll be fine." _Stubborn as always._ "Maybe if I stay out here long enough this rain will cease."

Zhang He bent down and took Yi's hand but he wouldn't budge. "Come on, Zhongda. Sitting there won't solve anything." Yi let himself be pulled to his feet and He gripped Yi's robe. "You're soaked through! We need to get these off."

"Not yet." The strategist brought a hand up to He's face and stroked his wet cheek. "I've always wanted to kiss someone in the rain like this." He pulled the general down by his chin; the other arm snaking around his waist, then pushed his lips against the others. Zhang He moved his lips against Yi's and scrapped his teeth lightly on Yi's bottom lip. Tongues slid over each other, exploring as if for the first time. Then Yi broke away, brushing his lips across He's bare neck, tasting the rain on his skin. A hand on his back slipped beneath his waistband.

"Heavens, your hand is freezing," Zhang He said. "Shall we go and dry off now?"

Yi pouted. "I guess I've had my fun…for now."

"Have something in mind?"

"You could say that."

They walked back through a seemingly empty camp, but over the sound of the rain voices could be heard, soldiers all crammed into tents trying to make the best of the situation they were in. As soon as they were under shelter the general began to pull Yi's clothes off. His outer robe was heavy with water and his inner robe had to be peeled from his skin. Zhang He had actually thought about what to wear outside and had chosen just some silk trousers that would dry quite quickly. He watched as the naked Yi wrung his hair and seemed to do a dance.

"What's so funny?" he asked when he saw the other snigger. "It's an effective way to dry." He swung his arms in a circular motion.

"You could just use something dry." The general took one of the furs and wrapped it around himself.

"And that just creates another wet item."

Zhang He walked towards him and encompassed him in his fur wrap. "I give up with you, Zhongda."

Sima Yi put him arms round He and rested his head on his shoulder. "How are you so warm?"

"I haven't just been sitting out in the rain for however long." He draped the fur across his shoulders and moved Yi's hands so that they hung from his neck, then swept the shorter man up in his arms and carried him to the centre of the tent where the rest of the furs and silks were waiting.

"You could've just told me to walk with you," Yi said as He laid him down.

"Since when was I that simple?" He kissed Yi's forehead.

The strategist chuckled. "I'm supposed to be the complicated one with my schemes, but allow me to be direct." He moved Zhang He's hand that was near his stomach and let it cup his member. "I don't have much to do today with this relentless rain. So maybe you could entertain me."

"I _could,"_ Zhang He teased, "But only if you tell me a few things."

"What you could possibly want to know?"

"Don't furrow your brow like that – you'll get wrinkles. I just want you to tell me how beautiful I am, because if that's how sexy you look with wet hair I wonder how I look."

"Feeling a little vain today?" Yi asked as he brushed a strand of He's hair behind an ear.

The general sighed. "No, I'm feeling old. It's been fifteen years since we met, you know."

"That is a long time and to think you're still interested in me," Yi laughed. "But I assure you that you look as fabulous as the day I met you. You came striding into the throne room with confidence, painted in the blood of your enemies. Quite unlike you now I think about it, but you made a lasting impression."

"I do remember that one," Zhang He mused as he tweaked Yi's nipples gently. "We thought that Wu would launch an ambush because their original force was so small. So I didn't get round to making myself look nice, but I'm glad it impressed you."

Yi's hand ran down the contours of He's body and began to toy with his cock. "I'll admit that I was a little worried when everyone told me that you were a little eccentric."

"But a general who is eccentric stands out from the rest, right?"

"Yes, but I wasn't sure if we'd get along." Yi felt the cock in my hand begin to stir.

"You worry too much." He let his hand venture further south too. "Just look at us now. Never would I have imagined how lucky I would be."

"Don't start getting mushy on me." Yi removed his hand from He's body.

"But I love you -"

"And I love you too, but I want to have my way with you before you start telling me how cute I was when I did whatever."

Zhang He pouted. "Maybe I'll tell you how sexy you were the first night you fucked me, your eyes full of lust and clouded from intoxication."

"I think I'd like to hear about that." Yi rolled onto He and began to grind his crotch against the general. "But I thought that you wanted _me_ to tell you pretty things."

Zhang He kissed the man now that his lips were in reach. "I would like that, but I thought you said that I was entertaining you."

"Well, in that case." Yi rolled off of He and lay with his arms behind his head. "Continue."

Zhang He climbed on top of Yi and began to kiss him. Lips, jaw, neck. Down to his collarbone, pausing to suck on a nipple, biting the hard nib gently. Then he could feel He's nose slide down his body, then lips closing around the head of his member and a tongue rolling across it. Yi began to let sweet sounds out, but He was not stopping for long.

"Turn over." Yi did as he was told and felt hands run down his back slowly. Zhang He pulled Yi up by his hips so that he was on his knees. His hands gripped the cheeks of Yi's arse, parting them slightly as he let his tongue trace the entrance. Letting it slip in, allowing the saliva in his mouth flow freely. He rubbed himself until precum coated his cock and then pushed into Yi, the strategist making a noise of slight discomfort. But that would soon change…

After a few thrusts Yi spoke up. "Junyi, I want to see you." Seeing He's face in pleasure was probably the thing that got him off the most during their encounters. He felt the general leave him and he turned to look at the general, inviting him into his arms. Zhang He took up the offer, wrapping his arms around the strategist as they lowered themselves to the ground. Yi rolled so that he lay on top of He, then sat up and lowered himself onto the general's cock.

"Wasn't I doing it well enough?" Zhang He asked, surprised at the sudden change of position.

Sima Yi began to roll his hips back and forth. "No, I just wanted to make sure I got the best view of your beautiful face, Junyi."

The general smiled and let his hands come to rest on Yi's moving hips. He watched as the man above him became more flushed, listened as he let out more shallow breaths and felt their bodies rub against each other. This was his favourite part, where he could be close to Yi, admire him, and feel him. All while feeling good himself, but not yet at the stage where all he craved was release. No, for now all he craved was to be near his lover.

Yi looked down at the relaxed man below him and slowed his pace as he leant down to kiss him. "I love you."

"Unusual of you to get sentimental at a time like this," He noted.

Yi shrugged it off. "Don't worry, it's full steam ahead now." He began to move faster than before, and Zhang He moved his hips too in a natural reaction.

"Ah, Zhongda…" He was going to say 'faster' but this pace was fine. It left him wanting more, treading the line between hellish pleasure and the heavenly climax. He could feel it building inside him each time Yi moved. Then he thrust up into Yi, pushing the other down by his hips as he let out a moan.

Sima Yi smiled as the tension that had been building up on He's face dissipated, replaced by serenity. He continued to move, the cum making it easier, his hand finding his member to finish it quicker so that he could lie beside the general.

They lay staring into each others eyes, Sima Yi brushed the side of He's face tenderly.

"I love you."

"Are you okay, Zhongda?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be after a wonderful time with you?"

"You don't usually say those words so often."

Sima Yi shrugged a shoulder. "I know, but in the time we've been together I haven't said it enough." He interlaced their fingers and gave a soft laugh. "Maybe the weather's getting to me…I just want us to stay like this."

**OoooO**

"I told you you'd get ill," Zhang He said.

Sima Yi sniffed. "I'm fine."

The general rolled his eyes. "So, what is the plan?"

They had been stuck for almost a month now, the rain had not let off and the ground was still waterlogged.

"I think it's time to give up for now and head back to Chang'an."

That surprised him. "I'm glad you're finally seeing sense, Zhongda. Who knew a cold could clear someone's head?"

"I will hit you, Junyi," Yi coughed.

"Not like that you won't. Shall I round up the troops?"

"That would be good. But I will get you later." He wasn't happy to call off the campaign, but there wasn't much he could do about the weather.

"I'll be waiting. Then I'll stay with you until it goes away."


	6. The End

A/N: I thought I'd do the last bit separately rather than making the other chapter extra long… I know my chapter titles sucked. This one sucks the most though. XD

**6. Caught By a Butterfly: The End**

**Chang'an, Spring 231**

The first day of spring… The pair was in the palace gardens, Zhang He had his head resting on Yi's lap, looking up at the blue sky. A year since their failed campaign; Cao Rui hadn't punished them for their failure, he had understood. Cao Zhen had been sent to Mount Qi instead of them, and they lived life in relative peace once more.

"Grandpa!" Shi's eldest daughter came running towards them.

"Careful!" But his warning was too late and the girl tumbled to the ground.

Zhang He got up and helped the girl to her feet, eyes flicking up to see Shi not far in the distance, poised to run after his child. He led her by the hand to Yi where she held out a scroll to him.

"Thank you, Ling. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine, Grandpa. Daddy said that's important." She pointed to the scroll.

Yi looked up and nodded to Shi in the distance, then opened the scroll. "Well, this peaceful life of ours couldn't last forever."

"Can I see?" Ling asked. Yi lowered the paper and Ling looked at it, puzzled. "I thought that there might be a picture."

"Not today, my dear. Your father's waiting for you." The girl ran back to Shi, this time without falling.

Zhang He had craned his neck to read the scroll. "I hope Cao Zhen will be alright."

"I'm sure he will be. Guess it's time to head out again."

The general laughed. "You make it sound like a chore; I thought you enjoyed travelling?"

"I do and will once I get out there. Rui should've just sent me in the first place."

They got up and began to walk towards the throne room where the emperor awaited them. "I thought that you and Shi were on better terms?"

"Better, but not good, Dad." Zhao walked out from behind a pillar.

"Heavens!" Yi exclaimed. "Zhao, are you trying to give me a heart attack?"

Zhao smiled. "Hey, Zhang He. I heard that you two are going to Mount Qi. Can I come?"

Sima Yi cleared his throat loudly. "Yes, hello, son, so good to see you too."

He threw an arm around his father, now a head taller than him. "Aw, it's good to see you too, Dad, but I only saw you yesterday. So, Mount Qi?"

"You're staying here," Yi said.

"Why? You let me go to Xincheng and that was four years ago. Look at how much tougher I am." Zhao flexed a bicep, but it couldn't be seen under his sleeve.

"The _Emperor_ has not asked for you."

"Yeah, but Zhang He only gets to go because you want him to." Zhao gave He an apologetic look.

"Actually," Yi said, "He has been requested for this battle."

Zhao scratched his head. "Can't you just take me anyway?"

"No." Yi grabbed He's arm and walked off to the throne room, leaving Zhao who realised that he had no chance.

"Why not?" Zhang He asked.

"Not you too." Yi sighed. "He's too young. I'm not losing him."

"But he's twenty now. I was sixteen when I started to fight."

He hadn't been honest with the general… He had meant to tell him about his grand plans, his ambitions, but they had just never really talked about it. Now was not the time or the place either. He had been moulding Zhao and Shi into leaders (even if Zhao wasn't quite there yet) and hoped that he or they would one day overthrow Wei. But how could he tell Zhang He? After all this time…to Wei's longest serving general? This would probably be a delicate subject, best approached as a hypothetical situation first…

"He's not ready," Yi said. Then they walked into the throne room to receive their orders.

**OoooO**

"Fools!"

"What's happened?" Zhang He asked.

"Zhuge Liang has defeated our troops at Shanggui!"

Zhang He placed a hand on the strategist's shoulder. "You said yourself that he was a match for you."

"It's only because the fools didn't maintain a defensive position!"

"Calm down, Zhongda."

"I am calm," he said quickly. "You!" he yelled at a guard. "Send Guo Huai the reinforcements he requested and tell the rest of the troops to prepare to march." The guard bowed and left.

Sima Yi set a fast pace and they had caught up with the Shu army in no time. Yi laughed when they arrived. "It would appear that we may win this battle."

"Why are you confident all of a sudden?"

"Zhuge Liang is here to harvest wheat and no other reason. If he lacks food already we are almost certain to win."

Niu Jin spoke up. "Should we attack him now?"

"No, we need only wait; I have a plan."

As Yi predicted Zhuge Liang didn't attempt to fight the Wei army and once he had harvested all he could he began to retreat. _Right into my trap._ Niu Jin waited for the Shu army…

"Zhongda?"

"Hm, Junyi?" Yi stirred from under the furs.

"I have news." Zhang He sat down with Yi. "Ma Dai intercepted Niu Jin and Zhuge Liang retreated by another path."

"Damn, do we know where he is?"

"He's set up camp at Lucheng."

"Good, ready the troops," Yi said as he stretched.

They waited again at Lucheng, neither strategist willing to make the first move. All the while Sima Yi knew that Zhuge Liang would have to do something eventually with his lack of supplies.

"When will we attack?"

"Does Sima Yi know what he's doing?"

"We should attack sooner rather than later. Why doesn't he move?"

Zhang He was braiding his hair as he relayed what he had heard that day from the other officers and men. "I'm not suggesting that you attack, but there's a lot of unrest."

Yi was lying next to him. "I know. I see them whispering all the time. I thought that they had enough confidence in my tactics."

"I think it's Zhuge Liang that unnerves them."

"Hmm…" Yi put a finger to his lips as he thought about what to do. Maybe a full out attack would satisfy them? _Maybe it would surprise Zhuge Liang too._ "How about you go and attack their southern camp while I lead a force against the front of Lucheng?"

"Isn't that a little obvious?"

"Yes, but I don't think Zhuge Liang will be expecting it. The element of surprise can be a powerful thing."

"Then let's try." He lay down and kissed Yi.

**OoooO**

Wang Ping was at Shu's southern camp, ready to fight against Zhang He. Meanwhile Sima Yi stormed the front of Lucheng. Yet Zhuge Liang had planned for every outcome and sent three generals to meet his force with Wei Yan leading. The Shu army may have been small, but they managed to deal Yi's army a blow. Sima Yi ordered a retreat to rethink their plan, but at least the troops seemed a little more satisfied that they had tried. Zhang He's unit retreated when they heard the news of what had happened at the front gate.

"Are you okay?" Zhang He asked.

"I'm fine," Yi said. "I stayed away from the frontlines like you told me to."

"Good. So, what is our next move?"

"Recuperate. I'm still working on the next bit." Although he had a pretty good idea of what they would end up doing…

Zhang He wrapped his arms around Yi. "I'm so glad you're safe."

**ooo**

"ZHAO?!" Yi shouted when his son walked into the tent where he was, quickly removing a hand from He's crotch (thankfully they were both still clothed somewhat). "Why are you here?!"

"I can come back later if it's a bad time," he said as he looked up at the top of the tent.

"Now's a fine time to explain why you're here." Yi tightened his waist sash.

"The emperor sent me with some reinforcements," Zhao said. "He was a little worried…"

"Everything is going well."

"But I heard reports that you lost a few thousand men."

Yi sighed. "Yes, but we've got a new plan of attack and you need not be part of it."

"I'm not going back," Zhao said. "I know you think I'm not ready, Dad, but I want to be here. I need to get some real experience if I'm going to be a good leader like you want me to be."

"Zhao…" Maybe when he had children of his own he would understand.

"Zhongda, he's a young man now," Zhang He said. "He's not a little boy anymore. Maybe it's time to give him a chance."

Yi looked up to his son's face, still with a boyish charm. Zhang He was right… "Okay, you will go under Junyi and help take the outer camps."

Zhao clapped his hands together. "Thanks, Dad. I'll make you proud."

"I'll make sure he returns in one piece," He said.

**OoooO**

"You're not going to stop me?" Zhao asked as they started their attack on the camps.

"Why should I?"

"Because Dad told you to?"

Zhang He laughed. "Actually he didn't say anything like that, just that I shouldn't let you die." Then he dismounted.

"Aren't you going to follow me then? Won't you need your horse?"

"I'll be watching for you, yes. But I'm not your babysitter. I have some faith in you, you know." Zhao smiled at that. "And I find that being on a horse makes me too much of a target, I'm a little too recognisable up there." Then he ran out towards the mass of fighting men.

Zhao followed, also on foot, and for the first time he was allowed to swing his sword freely. Clashing swords against Shu's soldiers, killing someone for the first time. He almost apologised to the first soldier he plunged his sword into.

"Stay alert." Zhang He cut down someone who was behind him, about to send a spear into Zhao's back.

"Yeah, I just…"

"I know, first time and stuff." He fought his way through a few soldiers who had recognised him.

Zhao took up his sword again and got his head back in the fight.

**ooo**

Yi placed his hands on Zhao's shoulders and looked at his face.

"Dad, I'm fine."

He brushed a finger against a cut on Zhao's cheek.

"It's just a little cut, nothing big. Hey, I'm still breathing, but only because Zhang He saved me." Maybe it wasn't the best thing to say if he wanted to go onto the field again, but he just wanted to draw the attention away from himself.

"Thank you, Junyi." He hugged the general and placed a kiss on his cheek. Then he looked He up and down, finding a few cuts on his arms, but nothing major. "So, did you manage to take the camps on your side?"

"Naturally."

"Excellent, ready the troops to march any day now," Yi said. "I doubt that Zhuge Liang will be staying long now."

**ooo**

"Lord Sima Yi! The Shu army has left Lucheng!"

Yes, he would choose to move at night. The order was given and they marched after Zhuge Liang. It was not long before they caught up and Shu was forced to face the Wei army in battle. Zhang He took the opportunity to fight on the frontline once more, letting the thrill of the fight take over him. Dodge, grab, reverse. Slash, kick, thrust. Thousands of bodies were strewn across the field when the fight ended. Sima Yi had wanted them to keep pushing until they reached Zhuge Liang at the front of the retreat, but they had decided to leave the rear and were retreating back to Hanzhong.

"Junyi, I want you to take an elite force and pursue them," Sima Yi said. "We won't catch them up with the whole army in tow."

"No, it's suicide." It wasn't often that Zhang He disagreed with the strategist.

"What? We have this opportunity to take out Zhuge Liang and you want to cast it aside?"

"I've been watching every move that man makes. He knows that we're on his tail, he will be waiting for us."

"He's run out of supplies; he's at his most vulnerable."

"Zhongda, do you not know of the stratagem where one retreats in order to deceive his foes?"

"I am more than aware, Junyi. But I don't think he's employing that right now. So, will you stop wasting time and pursue him?"

"I really don't think this is a good idea." He paused for a moment, imaging how it played out in his mind. "I won't do it. I won't take anyone to their death."

"How will anyone die? You're the best fighter I've seen."

"Zhuge Liang is currently retreating through the mountains," Zhang He said. "He has many opportunities to pull a surprise attack."

"The scouts say he moves with an unbelievable pace – does that sound like someone planning a surprise attack? Now, will you hurry and go?"

Zhang He sighed. "Zhongda, I can't. Not this time."

"Zhang He, don't make me pull rank on you."

That surprised him. Just using his full name like that was the equivalent of pulling rank. "You'll have to." Maybe now Yi would see that this wasn't worth it.

Should he send He out against his will? Of course: this was his moment. Imagine the kind of praise and status he would receive when this plan succeeded. The power he would gain from putting an end to Zhuge Liang, their most threatening enemy. "Zhang He, as Grand Commander I order you to pursue the Shu army." It pained him to do it.

His pain was reflected in He's face as he bowed and said, "Yes, my Lord." Then he left Yi without another word. Not a kiss or a hug...

No, this was necessary. If he didn't try he would regret it for the rest of his life. He readied the army to follow He's unit, ready to back them up if they did encounter anything.

**ooo**

As they rode through the valleys Zhang He found himself looking up at the higher up ledges that surrounded them, waiting for a Shu soldier to shoot at them. He was just beginning to think that maybe they would pull through this alive when an arrow shot past time, hitting the man behind him.

"Pull back!" He yelled as he saw a sea of soldiers appear above them, all armed with crossbows. They took aim and a volley of arrows came down on them as Zhang He turned back. He felt an arrow lodge in his right knee, but continued to ride back, watching as the soldiers around him fell off their horses. It was hopeless; he couldn't do anything for them. Yet maybe he _could_ make it out of this alive. One arrow wouldn't stop him. Soon he would be out of range, their arrows still narrowly missing him, flying into the ground before him. An arrow struck his horse and it reared up on its hind legs, almost throwing the general off. In that moment his armour was pierced and metal heads buried themselves in his back. He lost his grip on the reins and fell back onto the ground.

**ooo**

"Junyi!"

The Shu soldiers had left, the valley was empty save for those who had managed to only incur minor wounds. Sima Yi rushed down beside the general, fearing he was dead when he saw him lying face down, arrows in his back. He pulled Zhang He into his arms and ran a hand down his face.

"Junyi?" His voice was soft as he placed a hand on the general's chest, waiting for it to rise and fall.

"Z-Zhong…da." It was hard for him to talk now. He knew that this was it.

"Thank heavens, Junyi." He leant down and placed a kiss on the general's lips. "I'm sorry I sent you here. I really regret it." It was only now that he realised how much he would miss He if he had died. Yet he had thought of the general as an invincible warrior who couldn't be caught as he had been today.

"I'm s-sorry, Zhongda." Zhang He coughed. "I couldn't…get away."

"Hush, we'll take you back to camp and patch you up."

Zhang He managed to grip Yi by the front of his robes. "No."

"Junyi, you need help."

Zhang He shook his head. He was breathing deeply now, the pain really showing in his face. "I love you and… I forgive you."

"Junyi?" He could see it now. He could see what he had done, what was about to happen. "No, you can't…"

"I've…enjoyed every minute." Zhang He's grip loosened and his hand fell to the ground. "Goodbye, Zhongda." His eyes closed, his chest rose and fell once more.

"Junyi!" Yi shook him as gently as he could manage. "Junyi, you can't! No!" He didn't even realise he was crying. "Zhang He! You can't leave me!" There was a hand on his shoulder. They were kneeling next to him, pulling him from the general's body, also sniffing.

"Dad, come on." Zhao was pulling him to his feet, trying to lead him away. "Please, Dad. He's gone." Yi gave up resisting and allowed his son to lead him away. He didn't notice where he was. All he could think was that it was his fault. Hadn't Zhang He told him it was suicide? Hadn't he begged not to be sent? And he had _forced_ him to go. Sent him to die. And for what? The chance to kill Zhuge Liang. Was it really worth it? Heavens, he was so entranced by the idea before, but now it would become his life's goal. Revenge burned in his heart. What would life be like without the one he had come to depend on?

**ooo**

"Dad, I know this is a bad time, but we need to know our next move."

How long had it been? "We're going back to Chang'an." This was over, Shu was too far ahead, not that he had any interest in them at this moment. All he wanted was to go home.

"Do you want to talk?"

Tears sprung to his eyes once more. Memories of when he had consoled Zhang He crossed his mind. That first time when he had been told to go away… Zhao had his arms around his father. Yi wanted to push him away; he was just making it worse. How could he be so weak in front of Zhao? Letting his son console him like this? He pushed him away.

"Dad, it's nothing to be ashamed of," Zhao said. "I know Zhang He meant a lot to you."

He guessed it could be Shi, the uncaring soul who was with him. Then again, that's what he needed to be now. He needed to put on the mask that Shi always did, always showing a brave face.

"I'll be fine," Yi managed, although his voice broke on the last syllable. "Let's get moving."

**OoooO**

Chunhua was waiting for him in Chang'an. She sat with him while he poured out all of his feelings that he couldn't share with Zhao. She held him as he cried the last of his tears, being a rock for him. He couldn't wish for a better wife.

Sima Shi tried not to show his pleasure at the news. Now that the man was out of his father's life he could finally achieve his ambitions. No one was going to deter his father anymore. He watched as Yi became the hardened man from his childhood, the one that never pitied the enemy. But he could see that Zhang He had softened him somewhat; his hatred only extended to Shu.

Zhuge Liang would organise one more expedition and Sima Yi would meet him at the Wuzhang Plains. There Yi would finally have some form of revenge. The Shu strategist passed away, but not by his hand or any of those in Wei. It still meant that one of his biggest obstacles was out of his way. He could now pave the way for his sons to overthrow the Wei dynasty.

Before his death he managed to grasp the power he had always dreamed of. Shi would carry on for him, maybe Zhao too. They had both grown so much… He handed his sword to Shi, the very one Zhang He had once helped him choose, and told him to rule well. He lay back, thinking of the last 20 years since Zhang He had left him. _I'll see you soon, Junyi…_

A/N: My original author note to myself was: "IS THAT IT? I DON'T EVEN." I enjoyed writing this over the course of a month (but I like to let it sit, edit and then just upload in one because otherwise I forget and things are left unfinished). Anyway~ Thanks for reading. ^^ This has been like my 'ulitmate OTP fic' for these two…I guess this is my headcanon. XD Also, I'm sorry if the sex sucked...those were the scenes that had me staring at the word document for the longest. .


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